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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to say no? A question for dog owners

51 replies

Hearterama · 29/12/2010 08:05

My brother has asked me to feed and let out his dog which would involve him being left for up to 13hours at a time in a 48hr period.

He was let down at the last minute by a neighbour but I feel this is not fair on the dog. I have never had dogs so I am not sure what is ok? I have looked online and it says that up to 8hrs is ok. He stays in a fenced off part of the kitchen so during that time would be in a space about 2mx1m day and night.

AIBU to say this is not ok and that he needs to find a kennels for him? He goes today so wd that even be possible?

OP posts:

girlsyearapart · 29/12/2010 08:08

It is too long yes.
Though also too late to get a kennel I should think.
How far from him do you live?
Presumably you can't have the dog to yours or go over more than once?

frazmum · 29/12/2010 08:15

Ring round the kennels - we've had to find one a couple of times at the last minute.

Also as girlsyearapart said - could you go round a couple of times a day if you don't live too far, but this obviously would be a MASSIVE favour on your part and take up a lot of your time.

Original poster

Hearterama · 29/12/2010 08:20

We are close, about 5mins away. I cant/wont have him to stay here as I have 3 young children who are frightened of him. He is only young and still jumps up loads and is still nipping.

We can take him for a walk this afternoon, then we are at my brother's wedding all day thu. We need to leave about 9am then wont be back til about 830-9pm. Cant walk him then as my dh has to go to work then for 10pm so wd be a case of feeding him, letting him out then leaving. Then dh will let him out and feed him on fri morning on his way home from work.

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VallhalaLalalalalalalalaaaaaa · 29/12/2010 08:21

It's far too long to leave a dog. Kennels will be unlikely to have spaces at this time of year though he can try and if they have, he will need proof of the dogs vaccinations before they will take him.

Otherwise he can ask another neighbour/friend to have the dog at his house or find a dog sitter. He may dind a sitter by ringing local rescue and asking if they can recommend someone as well as via Yellow Pages or adverts in local shops. The bugger with dog sitters is that they are often only known of by word of mouth.

IAPJJLPJ · 29/12/2010 08:22

I am not an animal lover at all but even I think that is cruel.

Decentdragon · 29/12/2010 08:23

IMO that?s bang out of order in all but the most extreme emergency. (ie parents had heart attack) and he?s behaving immaturely because he wants to do x, and doesn?t want the responsibility of being a dog owner for those two days getting in the way of fun. (new years eve?)

Dog needs to be taken out for decent walks and have company. It doesn?t even have the run of it?s own home which doesn?t sound a great life either.

If it?s a soft friendly controllable dog you could offer that, and keep it on the lead, if it?s not then he needs either a kennel or a professional dog walker in. (there are plenty of services in London, have a google to see if they exist in your area.)

Well done for recognising it's not fair on the dog.

Original poster

Hearterama · 29/12/2010 08:32

Decentdragon- it is for his wedding. I am quite shocked that he had not booked him into a kennels.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hearterama · 29/12/2010 08:43

ok found some numbers online so will start ringing once the kids have had their breakfast. Thank you for reasuring me that it was not ok. Just got to tell them now.

OP posts:

Ephiny · 29/12/2010 08:59

13 hours is far too long to leave a dog, even 8 hours sounds a bit long to me personally. And if it's for his wedding, presumably it's been planned for at least a few months in advance! So no excuses for not getting something sorted out.

Ephiny · 29/12/2010 09:03

(good for you for thinking of it and trying to arrange something though :) Just get annoyed by people like your brother. Maybe ask him how he'd feel to be confined to a tiny enclosed space with no company or entertainment for several successive 13 hour stretches, with no idea when/if it's going to be over?)

girlsyearapart · 29/12/2010 09:14

If he's a young dog he presumably doesnt have the bladder control needed for 13 hours.
We had our dog at our wedding for some of it then asked a friends parents.
The trouble with weddings is that you have all the people who you d normally ask favours from at the wedding!

Decentdragon · 29/12/2010 10:00

Will try and be less judgemental if it's his own wedding and he's gone into panic mode, :) and the age explains the caged off kitchen bit better, but that plan's still not on for the dog's welfare.

So many round here have, usually staffies, caged off in half a kitchen living out their lives when it suits their owners rather than part of a family and I've knee jerked. My apologies.

Would it be a disaster for the dog to come too? Bet there's partners/rellies who'd rather look after the puppy.

Has someone got a dog experianced friend who'd come to a wedding to look after and play with a nippy puppy outside at relevant points, for a reasonable sum, and try and find another solution for the day after?

Just thoughts.

classydiva · 29/12/2010 10:02

That is far too long for the dog to be left.

I've a Westie and I feel guilty leaving him for a few hours to go shopping.

Anniegetyourgun · 29/12/2010 11:08

And who, pray, is going to clear it up when the dog has an accident or two and then tramples all the, er, residue around the kitchen? Oh yes - Muggins.

Toughasoldboots · 29/12/2010 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charliesmommy · 29/12/2010 11:23

I occasionally leave mine for 6 hours, and he is fine, has the run of the house, and spends most of that time, if not all, asleep on the sofa. No way would I leave him for 13 hours, that is cruel and unfair. Especially on a young dog who has more energy, lower boredom threshold, and will need the loo more.

You cant just book a dog into kennels though, they have to have had certain vaccinations before a kennel will allow them. Kennel cough being the main one.

If you are only five minutes away, would it not be possible to visit every four hours or so in the day, and then leave him for a maximum of 7 hours overnight.

No matter what the occasion though, a dog is a responsibility and your brother needs to arrange proper care before he leaves.

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 29/12/2010 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charliesmommy · 29/12/2010 11:28

It easy to get, but it has to have been done for a few days before. I think it is 10 days if I remember correctly, as we had to cancel a holiday when we were let down at the last minute by our house/dog sitter.

Original poster

Hearterama · 29/12/2010 11:56

No joy at all with kennels. They just laughed at me said they were booked up for weeks/months.

Ok so problem is that although I am 5mins away, the wedding it 45mins away and I will be there all day too.

So this afternoon can take him for a walk then go back in eve to let if out and feed him and have a bit of a play in garden/house.

Early on thu go round and walk him, then go back as we leave to go to wedding at about 10am. A friend of mine who has a dog has said she will pop over to let him out at around 2pm but will only be a quick visit no walk. Then we will get back about 8 to take him out and feed him.

Then can go early fri and take him for a walk and feed him then they will be back at lunch time.

Not ideal but does that sound ok?

OP posts:

charliesmommy · 29/12/2010 12:02

so long as he gets let out regularly into the garden, it really doesnt matter too much if he misses his walks for a couple of days

it will be very lonely for him though

leave a tv on for him, dont leave the house in darkness and silence over night..

Original poster

Hearterama · 29/12/2010 12:08

Please dont think for a second that this is something that I think is right. I really feel like there is nothing else I can do other than not go to the wedding. I have been in tears about it because I would never treat a dog I owned like this and I feel I am accepting unfair treatment by agreeing to do it.

I really do not know what else I can do?

He cannot come to the wedding. It is in a hotel and no dogs are aloud.

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Evenstar · 29/12/2010 12:08

What is he like in the car? Our dogs came to our wedding reception in PIL's car so that they could be let out regularly, it was a coolish day and they had windows left open and water available. It is not hot at this time of year, so it might be better than leaving him at home for so long if he is happy to sit in the car. I am not surprised the kennels are booked up, I had to reserve Christmas for my dog and cat months ago. Hope your brother manages to sort something out.

Ephiny · 29/12/2010 12:10

Sounds better, at least he gets let out to do his toilet and gets a bit of human interaction to break up the day. A lot depends on the dog though, is he used to being left etc? Often you have to build up leaving hours gradually, especially for a pup.

Tbh if it was my friend or relative I'd offer to puppy-sit instead of going to the wedding, sounds lots more fun to me! But then I don't like weddings much.

charliesmommy · 29/12/2010 12:10

It might be too short notice now, but most local vets have contacts with emergency dog sitters. It might be worth contacting them to see if they can help and someone can have him for the 2 days.

Original poster

Hearterama · 29/12/2010 12:15

Charliesmum- I rang the vets to get some numbers. They said they would be suprised if I would find anyone who could help.

He is used to being on own in the day but not at night.

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