to be weirded out by FIL peeing in front of DD?

[LondonKiwiMum]

So dd is nearly 2 and is in her bath (given by daddy), when FIL walks in to our small bathroom and just takes a pee right in front of her, leaving the door open so i walk in on him too? there is no way she didn't see everything, the bathroom is too small. he didn't ask DH, DH was surprised too.

am i being a prude? this made me really uncomfortable, especially the not asking. the reason i feel esp uncomfortable is that FIL and MIL are quite insistent about having dd come to stay for extended periods in the hols without us. i have resisted so far on the grounds that dd is too young. dh has mentioned FIL was (and remains) prone to walking around in the nude when they were growing up, which i am also not very comfortable with.

the only thing we can think is maybe he has a prostrate problem but if he does, he has never told us.

"Willies aren't evil you know."-are you absolutely sure about that

Well they do have only one very suspicious looking eye...I have never trusted them

"Well they do have only one very suspicious looking eye."

Oh yes, "the evil eye"

I would have been disgusted, bathrooms have doors (usually with locks) so that people can pee with privacy.

I dont think there are any bad intentions on the FILs part at all though

Good lord.

Wouldn't have bothered me either TBH. I'm with yuno.

It's not just the GD whipping his lad out though is it?

It is the whole weeing process between men and women:

My Nan having a wee:
a sit down quiet fairylike tinkle with no exposure,drawers whipped down just before seat contact, whipped up efficiently and flushed with lid down in one easy turning movement. Hands washed in lily of the valley soap, quick kiss of gc and out.
My grandad:

Fumbling around in tan slacks for elderly lad, proffering over the rim of the bowl, large steaming slash, with echo- ing sound round bathroom like pouring a kettle. Hot fetid urine smell and accompanying steam.

Stop. Start. Stop. Start.

Swinging of hips and rocking to get the last drips out.

Some in bowl, some on mat, some on toilet rim.

Shake shake shake. Drip drip drip. Tuck.

Zip.

Wipe hands on back of tan slacks.

Exit leaving seat up and toilet unflushed. Carpet slightly damp.

Urine is sterile though btw.

YANBU. It's great if he's comfortably with nudity, good for him. BUT he shouldn't assume that everyone else is.

Was your DH upset at his dad having a pee in those circs? He was the one who was peed at what does he think? If he was upset then maybe he should have a word, if not then not, I would say.

I really can't see a prob with peeing in front of a 2yo at all TBH.

Oh! I heart you, Binful!

Binful

I'd be more shocked at him Weeing in front of me than my 2 year old. MIL proudly told us all that her 3 year old grandson not only watched her wee the other day but wiped her bits for her after - I did a little sick in my mouth when she told me!

EEk - I think that would make me physically sick julybutterfly - what on earth made her think that was a good idea??!

julybutterfly, are you sure that your mil really meant her grandson wiped her after she'd done a wee?

FFS. That's revolting. And quite wrong. Is there nobody in the family that would be able to say, "Erm, that's not at all appropriate. Please don't do it again. Wipe your own next time and please don't involve any children. Thank you."?

I'm sorry that is not acceptable. Handing her a wadge of bog roll, fair enough.

If a grandad said he got his gc to dab the end of his penis with a tissue, or shake the drips people would suggest you call the police!

I would have told her that was totally inappropriate july butterfly. It is inappropriate for a child of any age to be encouraged to touch an adults genitals. I would not let that go. I would discuss it with her in private before having any children stay with her unsupervised as she sounds a bit unhinged.

Yep it's what she meant. SIL then told us he does it for her sometimes too. A whole bucketful of wrongness!!

MIL did notice the shock on my face but didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it. But she always leaves the door open when she goes to the toilet, no matter who is in the house

July

YANBU OP. This isn't incidental nudity. This was deliberate, I'm going to pee in front of everyone nudity. Have some manners FFS.

Sorry I keep re-reading july's post. That is absolutely fucking weird. There is no way that that is necessary, normal or ok.

Oh wiping other people is wierd isn´t it-unless it´s someone who needs help/is ill.

I would guess he is just used to doing this in his own home and out of habit didn't really give it a second thought. You/dh could ask him in future if he could wait and ask if anyone needs to go before your dd has her bath. I doubt your dd will suffer because of it or was even more than passingly aware.

He does it for SIL too! WTF? He's not some kind if toilet butler. I hope you have words - I would have flipped out.

Eeek but what about wee splash?!

"I would guess he is just used to doing this in his own home and out of habit didn't really give it a second thought."

Yes, but he shouldn´t assume that what is OK for him in his own home is OK elsewhere.

I wonder if he thinks that because it´s his son´s house it doesn´t count/matter somehow.

My Dad is staying atm & what he will do is after I´ve washed up he´ll dry & put the things away where he thinks they should go.

Also moves things & if I put them back, he moves them again

july...I think you need to have a stern word with your MIL

the OP about the publicly-pissing grandfather is plain bad manners...but that is another level

I wonder if this grandfather is the type who just gets his todger out at the side of the road and pisses into the gutter ? Seems the same level of bad manners.. "I am man, I have dick, I will piss out of it no matter who may be offended"

that kinda shit