to pull up PIL's friends for racist (religionist?) story?

[AnnieLobeseder]

We're staying at the PIL's at the moment, and they're having some friends over today. One of PIL's friends was telling a 'hilarious' story about how he and some work mates nearly got a Muslim to eat a pork sausage until "some sod" told him it was pork and ruined the 'joke'.

I said I didn't think that was funny at all, and people like that who think it's funny to make Muslims eat pork or vegetarian eat meat (I'm veggie) are actually being pretty shitty (worded it better though).

Of course they conversation then turned to how pretty much all Muslims eat pork and drink alcohol when they're not in public anyway etc etc etc... very bigoted people.

My brother was shooting me daggers for pointing out the nastiness of this guest's views, but frankly, I'd rather be unpopular than just suck it up and abandon my views.

So, was IBU?

YANBU, of course.

Good for you.

Of course not. How weird are some people? The guest, not the OP.

No, you weren't. Not in the slightest. And I'd be tempted to make them (the nasty guest) eat a tasty dog food bolognese as a joke. Cos they'd be certain to find that hilarious, wouldn't they.

YADNBU disgusting behaviour. (them not you)

YANBU obviously

I once went up to a guy in a pub and said 'excuse me' when he looked I said 'can you keep your racist bullshit down a bit' - I was and still am so proud of myself so i think you did absolutely the right thing - some people who are racist are just offensive and naive, but it licences stupod bullies to go one or two stepd further and think the crowd is with them, so they need reminding that it isn't - well done you! :)

I think it's rude to pull them up on their attitudes in your PIL's house tbh. I think the comment that you don't find it funny was enough... but more than that, rude.

YANBU.

I pulled up both FIL and SIL for racist shit last year (we were staying with PILs for Christmas). I'll do it no matter where I am. The guests were the ones being 'rude'. I get so fucking sick of people assuming because everyone in the room is white, it's somehow 'safe' to let out all the ignorant garbage they've got rattling around in their heads.

Indeed. I'm here in rural France with a load of middle-aged expat Saffers and Brits - the Saffers are worse of course (though I'm Saffer too so there is hope for us!). The racist and right-wing bullshit has been flying all week. Last night my DSB was telling us how he thinks the police weren't hard enough on that disabled student who was pulled out the wheelchair in the student riots!

yanbu

well done, annie, i would have done the same. I don't eat pork for religious reasons, whether in public or not, and would not find it funny if someone tried to get me to eat it, for their own amusement.

zero tolerance is the only way

this kind of casual racism that people feel they can't challenge as it makes them a killjoy allows people who talk that way to think it's ok

YANBU

I would just say please don't talk like that in front of the children. That usually puts them to shame.

A similar thing was said once in my family. (My mother's brothers - I refuse to call them my uncles- are racist, sexist, lewd, and a little aggressive, so if you disaggree with them, they get nasty).

I'd had many years of just putting up with it, so finally I said in a vaguely wondering tone after a particularly nasty joke ' What kind of person do you have to be to think that is funny'.

It shut them up, oddly. It could have gone a different way, with defensive behaviour, but this time it made them feel a little ashamed I think. Although later my mother got a phone call aboutehr snobbish uppity judgmental daughter.

'about her '

To my eternal shame I met a 'friend' in the gym (read that as a wife of one of DH'd friends) She explained her horribly racist views as we were on the cross trainers side-by-side. She did this quite loudly.

There was an Indian lady nearby. I said nothing. I was mortified inside but didn't have the bollocks to say anything. This 'friend' is a bit scary and seems to have a history of falling out with everyone.

I wish I'd have told her to shut the fuck up.

So, no, YANBU,

YANBU. I think those views are disgusting, and you were right to challenge then. Lack of challenge implies agreement in my book.

YABU. Theres a time and a place for pulling people up on things.

Just change the conversation if you dont like it.

YANBU. To assume (on their part) that everyone who doesn't eat pork for religious reasons is a secret hypocrite is incredibly offensive - on the contrary, making people go against their religious principles unwittingly is v cruel. And not at all funny.

Theres a time and a place for pulling people up on things.

Sure. And in the case of racism, the time would be 'always' and the place would be 'anywhere'.

ccpccp - wouldn't interrupting him mid-story be just as rude? And just walking away leaves him and the rest of the crowd all thinking this is okay.

Oh well, I'll take being rude over being complicit in racism any day.

Well said, GrimmaTheNome.

Use one of my favourite lines; If ignorance is bliss, you must be one very happy bunny!

YANBU

It blows me away that people can take pride in their cruelty to others.

I have been in similar situations and rebuked those involved far more harshly. It saves you the classic "I wish i'd said that" moments on the way home.

If it looses me friends then they're not the sort of people i want to know.

There's only three things i hate in this world- Sweeping statements, Racial intolerance and the Dutch!!!