To think its a bit weird they are using the name already?

[LolaBellsAllTheWay]

Sil is 23 weeks pregnant with a boy (as told at 20 week scan). The ils were at ours for dinner yesterday and she is refering to the baby by the chosen name, as is mil and other sil.

I just find this a bit weird. When i was pregnant with dds we knew both times and although we had names we didn't use them incase they didn't suit it, or the scan was wrong.

It might be grating on me a little as it was our choice if dds had been ds.

I also noticed that bil wasn't using it but i know he's not entirely happy with the choice so i find it weird that sil is using it before they've agreed on it.

Is it weird?

Sakuru I had DS abroad, where I had private care. I have scans of DS at 8wks, 15wks, 20wks, 26wks, 30wks,34wks and the last check up at 37 weeks where my gyno said everything was fine and next time I saw him it would be for real.

There are no ill effects from this. Obviously this is one case.

onimolap no significance, I just wanted to point out that you could draw conclusions ethically, by comparing one group of women who had, say, 2 scans rather than none (perfectly ethical, as long as there's no pathology- I only had one) and then another group who had a lot of scans, say 20-30. I think reasonable conclusions could be drawn from this. But scanning a woman 20-30 times would be unethical to me.

lucy
I'm very glad you were able to have the scan you needed.

THis has nothing to do with "projecting" and everything to do with bringing a little-spoken subject to the table.
No, I don't believe in free- choice, capitalist-individualism. I don't think a woman need the "choice" to have multiple scans without good reason, or indeed the choice to have powerful 4D scans for fun. I think that a lot of people profit from that unregulated industry.

you don't think women should have hte choice to have powerful 4d scans? - do you think women should have the choice to smoke or drink or not? are they women not sentient or bright enough to make a choice about having a scan or not?

i don;t know why you think women are out there having scans willy nilly just for fun

after a certain gestation 3 & 4 d scans are not much good and not recommended

on the NHS you get scans if medically indicated, not because you fancy seeing oyur baby

Unless you have a hypothesis to test, I do not see how you can draw conclusions.

Have you previous experience in conducting medical research? I'd be interested in examples of studies which were constructed with no hypothesis - especially how potential confoundeds are handled.

you could follow both groups of babies into school-age years

lulumaam You know, people are told how much is okay drink. Fag packets have SMOKING KILLS written across them. I think more research should be done into ultrasound, and women should be presented with the info, but the research isn't there.
Women don't have a choice. I was told I had to have a scan, so no choice there. Complete and utter control.

"there is also a correlation between lots of scans and early miscarriage"

The Miscarriage Association would disagree with you.

I have to admit to finding it a little strange when people call their unborn baby by it's name, but I have no real reason to think that, so IABU. I think maybe I feel that way as I struggled to call DS1 anything other than 'The Baby' for the first few days, despite having known his gender since 20 weeks and despite having had his name picked out almost as long. Each to their own though.

I agree with theevildead2 about names. We only found out one of our twins' gender the day before they were both born, despite having hads scans weekly. They couldn't tell us the other twins gender at all. We had two girls and two boy snames picked out and as both were girls, they had the girls names we had chosen. We knew they probably wouldn't live, but they were their names, we didn't think 'oh, we'll save those favourite names for later and choose a different one'.

Midwiferytoday article:
"Although proponents point out that ultrasound has been used in obstetrics for 50 years and early studies indicated it was safe for both mother and child, enough research has implicated it in neurodevelopmental disorders to warrant serious attention."

As the FDA warned in 2004, "ultrasound is a form of energy, and even at low levels, laboratory studies have shown it can produce physical effect in tissue, such as jarring vibrations and a rise in temperature."(9) This is consistent with research conducted in 2001 in which an ultrasound transducer aimed directly at a miniature hydrophone placed in a woman's uterus recorded sound "as loud as a subway train coming into the station."(10)

A rise in temperature of fetal tissue?especially since the expectant mother cannot even feel it?might not seem alarming, but temperature increases can cause significant damage to a developing fetus's central nervous system, according to research.(11) Across mammalian species, elevated maternal or fetal body temperatures have been shown to result in birth defects in offspring.(12) An extensive review of literature on maternal hyperthermia in a range of mammals found that "central nervous system (CNS) defects appear to be the most common consequence of hyperthermia in all species, and cell death or delay in proliferation of neuroblasts [embryonic cells that develop into nerve cells] is believed to be one major explanation for these effects."(13) link

"The World Health Organization, definitely a great authority when it comes to medicine, looked into the safety of ultrasounds in pregnancy in 1982 and found several areas of concern. The Yale School of Medicine published a study on this issue in 2006, suggesting a link between excessive ultrasound exposure and mental health problems, as well as birth defects. Some studies claim there are links between ultrasounds and miscarriage and preterm labor, while others even mention connections between ultrasounds and leukemia" The risks of ultrasound

i have to say though when i was pregnant with DS1 we found out what we was having and we called him 'Bumpy' AND 'Jack' - the chosen name. Towards the end people were asking if there was any sign of 'Jack' yet.

DS2 was unknown until being born and so was called 'Bubbles' throughout pregnancy

"I do think scans have their place, but I think they are way way overused.
There is no reason for a woman to have multiple scans in the first trimester (one will suffice, and follow up ones if a problem is found, a pathological pregnancy
But pathology is not the norm and I think people are scan-happy"

And this is the reason that on the NHS the first scan is not until 12 weeks and that if nothing of interest is found only one more scan is offered.

I think the reason so few scans are given on the NHS is because of funding, not because of concerns about the risks of ultrasound. If doctors got paid every time they scanned, scanning rates would go sky-high, as they do in private hospitals and abroad

Have I don't like it personally but that's because I didn't want other people treating the foetus like a child when it was still inside me iykwim?

Can backfire though. Dd2 was called 'Bubba' while I was pg & for about 3 weeks after she was born dd1 refused to call her by her name and insisted she was 'just Bubba'!

I called my SIL's bump "niecephew" until we knew it was a girl, then it was "niece" or "tiny human". She's now expecting her second, and it's also being called "niecephew" until I'm told what sex it is.

women do have choices, of course they do ! you can refuse a scan, or indeed any or all of your ante/intra or post natal care.. if you are making an informed decision to do so.. you cannot be dragged into hospital for an ultrasound

I am 30 weeks with my first DS. until I found out the sex I did not have any bond with my baby. I have an anterior placenta as well so didn't really feel much as early as some. Even now I don't feel a great deal (or what I imagine most ladies do). When we found out he was a boy we had 3 possible names, and shortly after the scan one of the names stuck and he has been referred to this name ever since by me and my family. I know 100% he is a boy as I have had a 4d scan. I don't think it's creepy at all.

Both my DS's were sexed and named at 20 weeks, and I don't find that at all weird. Maybe the fact that I had severe hyperemesis and needed to view them as people rather than ill-making parasites has affected my thinking, though. I also had numerous scans throughout both pregnancies and was pumped full of drugs. My MIL made it known tht finding out the sex and naming the child was 'spoiling the suprise'. Considering that she wasn't puking her guts up every twenty minutes around the clock, hadn't lost twenty percent of her body weight and wasn't on the brink of kidney failure though I can't say as I gave her opinion much credence.

Sakura - I don't really understand your style of argument. You make very sweeping comments and pull someone up about giving an anecdotal example (Iamreallyfabnow's comment about knowing someone who wasn''t left-handed after multiple scans) and then you bring to the table your own random anecdotal comment (ie,I know someone who had several scans and then miscarried).

This thread really wasn't about scanning and its risks but it has taken that direction. This is a highly emotive topic, as is every topic about the safety of antenatal decisions and practices. I think you need to be making very clear distinctions between your own personal opinions about whether or not scans might turn out to be unsafe, and real, scientific research and theories.

For what it's worth, I do think that scans are possibly overused for non-essential purposes. We can't categorically say that they are safe, but they are enormously beneficial for many people and in the absence of anything other than statistically weak evidence, I don't think it is appropriate to make unqualified, sweeping comments about the safety of scans.

Only read firs thalf of thread but sakura you're talking a lot of tosh to say more scans means more liekly to miscarry. If you have problems with your pregnancy (sich as early bleeding or abdominal pain), or previously high risk (several miscarriages / stillbirth / medical condition increasing the risk to the baby etc etc) there are lots of reason why you might have several early scans. It is nonsense to say the scans caused the miscarriage. You can't say they haven't but you will never be able to prove this as high risk pregnancies have more scans so its not possible to say whether the increased risk of miscarriage is cause by the scans or the problems leading them to scan you.

To the OP I don't see why this bothers you. It is a very personal thing. We have done this with both of our sons as it made them feel more real to us. And if they had misscarried or been stillborn we would still have called them by the names we chose as they were still our children so it wouldn't have changed things. If they had turned out to be girls, no drama - we would ahve changed their name.

We have friends whose dd was sadly stillborn at 27 weeks. They found the fact that they had named her and for them bonded with her because (in part) of this an immense comfort as they felt this gave them memories about their baby as opposed to a foetus.

I am notsaying it is wrong to find this wierd of not to want to do this yourself. But I do think its wierd to criticise someone for choosing to behave in a certain way when it is a very personal and individual thing

Gorionine - not in UK, not got an obliging baby either! 3 were to get the nuchal fold measurement which I couldn't have given a monkeys about (yes, nice to know but I'd have continued with the pregnancy)...

I do feel the doctors here are scan happy sometimes and you cannot refuse to have the scan done or the box isn't ticked on your little chart and then you have no end of problems with the healthcare system when as far as I'm concerned. A couple of scans, fine. A scan every trimester I can swallow. Repeated scans because not absolutely everything is visible to the doctor/the baby isn't perfectly positioned - if I don't want it why should I have it? I'm not high risk, if I were then there would be a reason. I don't haveva history of MCs and there aren't any known chromosomal abnormalities on either side. It's essentially a normal pregnancy. I've stated my intention to continue with this pregnancy pretty much regardless of what they say. A scan is not going to tell them much more than they could pick up by other methods first but sadly sometimes it's scan first and consider other options later.

My gripe isn't related to safety though, it's more about feeling like I'm using up resources and having to trek to the hospital for appointments. And the fact I don't want them and they're yet to convince me of them
of the need in my case.

And this will be the 8th scan actually - they couldn't find the heartbeat (easily - transverse, posterior with anterior placenta) at 2 appointments so they scanned despite at 1 of them being able to feel baby kicking. Of course they could find it once the machine told them where This is what happens when all care is done by ob/gyns who have ultrasound machines in the room the whole time. But 6th detailed scan...

But despite being as sure as I can be baby is fine I wouldn't call it by a name, even if we'd decided!

Will be watching for signs of left-handedness.

Blimey

Where to start!
2 daughters born many moons ago when only 1 scan was offered - anomoly scan, at 20 weeks. I still bonded prior to birth despite not knowing the sex or seeing babe regularly. Their names were decided before their arrivals and we had male alternatives.
Fast forward lots of years to the next pg. A dating scan, 2 anomoly scans because baby lying in the wrong position for measuring - never knew the sex, always knew baby's name though whichever flavour arrived - always refered to as bump. Day before delivery, another emergency scan and Jacob practically died before our eyes and was born asleep the following day at full term, no nothing is certain about pg and childbirth. Not knowing his gender, having twice the number of noirmal scans was all irrelevant, my baby still died and I am still and always will be heartbroken.
And then another pg. Scanned fortnightly after 20 weeks, knew the gender at 20 weeks and from that moment on she was refered to by name - we HAD to do everything different, for our sanity, every scan was in the main to keep me sane particularly towards the last weeks. In fact in the last week had we not discovered she was breech and opted for an ELCS we may have again faced horrific heartbreak.
Its a very individual choice and there may be many reasons for their actions. Knowing who she was never made me bond more, but my actual memories of 'Jacob' rather than the bump are few, had the worst happened again it would have been a feeling of knowing her for longer.

Oh and for the record I was a low risk pregnancy in every way - it isn't a safety net

my sil used the name they'd decided on before their dd was born,even put the name in xmas cards that they sent
when the baby was born they gave it a totally different name didn't even use the original name at all

Gosh, this thread took an unexpected twist! I didn't expect quite a response!

Where to start??

Well, when I said I felt it a bit weird I meant in a harmless sort of way, like another poster said, not in a get the white coat and section her way. I just felt it a bit unlucky.

I can see everyones points that they would like to bond and if anything happened it would be of some, em, comfort (wrong word perhaps) that the baby had been named. And I am sorry for all the loss people on this thread have experienced.

We knew with both DD's that they were DD's. With DD1 we had a chosen name but didn't refer to the bump by that name. DD2 we didn't have a name till a few days after birth. If anything had happened they'd have been named regardless. I know people who have had early miscarriages and have named the baby. I understand this.

I am slightly bitter that she has taken our name but the situation was DD2 was born then I have a bit of a time, major PPH, hours in theatre and VERY close to hysterectomy, they had discussed it with DP and my mum. Luckily it never came to that. At the time I had said we were done. so for the first few months I was a bit hysterical, euphoric and over the moon that DD2 and I were both here and well, then so emotional and upset that we would have no more.

So a couple of months later SIL announces her pregnancy. It goes...

me: ah thats lovely etc etc ooh how exciting so you'll need to start thinking about names again?
SIL: no we have our names?
me: oh are you going with [names picked out for years]
SIL: no it'll be [girls name] or [my choice]
me: oh so not [BIL choice}
SIL: No, well its not like you'll be having anymore!
me: no probably not!

So everytime I here the name it stings a bit! BUT I have known for ages so I should be used to the idea!

Now, Scans!

With DD1 I had 12wk and 20wk which at the time was only offered as I had family history of Spina Bifida and Downs Syndrome. (I think a 20wk is standard now).

With DD2 I bled at 7, 11, 15, 19 and 23wks. I fell pregnant within a week of having coil removed. I was scanned at 7, 11, 12, 15 and 20wks. I then decided at 23 weeks that I did not want scanned as I thought well you can now hear heartbeat with doppler so just check the heartbeat.

Now as it transpires my PPH could have been a result of a problem with my placenta which could have also caused the early bleeding so if I was to fall pregnant again then I'd be scanned regularly, but later in pregnancy.

DD2 is 8mo so I will watch for signs of left handedness!

Now, interestingly, SIL did not find out sex of her DD. Was convinced it was DS, so convinced in fact that she went out and purchased some blue items. Both her and BIL were vocal about wanting a boy! Dniece arrived and SIL didn't bond for a good few weeks.

They've found out this time and both SIL and BIL are again very vocal about how glad they are that its a boy!

Makes me a bit :( for Dniece as she is an absolute star!

Phew...

YABU I used to think it was abit odd naming a baby while it was not born yet but now i think it is quite nice. I lost 2 babies late in pregnancy; 20 weeks and 23 weeks. With both we already knew the sex and names we would be calling them when we lost them. I don't believe it would have been any easier if we hadn't.

As for 4d scans i had many scans with DS3. I started at 16 weeks for a private scan as having lost a baby previously prior to the NHS 20+ week scan i knew it could be my only chance to 'see the baby' if things went wrong. I wanted a picture etc. It was a very high risk pregnancy. I also had many scans with my twins and they are 8 now and very healthy.

ouch! she's not the most empathetic creature is she??