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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have screamed and cried during labour?!

57 replies

jinglebelly · 24/12/2010 20:45

Had DS3 2 weeks ago and when I got to 9-10 cm found the pain unbearable, I was in floods of tears and screaming through the contractions, have just watched a woman on one born every minute have a practically silent birth!

OP posts:
allnightlong · 24/12/2010 20:47

YANBU at all!

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 24/12/2010 20:47

I am a silent labourer. But everyone deals with it differently

Nevereatyellowsnow · 24/12/2010 20:52

Yanbu. I screamed, cried, shouted, swore, pooed and puked!

It was all very dignified Blush

pinkmagic1 · 24/12/2010 20:53

I screamed like a banshee, don't worry about it!

RhinestoneReindeerHerder · 24/12/2010 20:55

I thought I was making lots of noise, but apparently wasn't very loud.

AnathemaDevice · 24/12/2010 20:56

Not at all, it bloody well hurts! I didn't scream, but I made some very odd noises. I remember a few times hearing unearthly moans and being shocked realising that the noise was coming from me.

maktaitai · 24/12/2010 20:58

A lot of women go very into themselves apparently and make very little noise. I made a horrendous racket from somewhere after 3cm (but I went from 3cm to 10cm in about 45 mins so I don't know where I was, tbh).

Morloth · 24/12/2010 21:00

I think when you are a pushing a baby out of your body pretty much anything you do is perfectly reasonable.

I do hypnobirthing so it is pretty quiet up until pushing when there is plenty of grunting going on.

Who cares, get the baby out, the rest is not that important.

Ieattoomuchcake · 24/12/2010 21:02

YANBU.
I had a fairly long labour and by the end was on morphine. It was due every three hours. Apparently (I don't remember any of this) I started weeping about two hours after each dose, demanding the next dose for an hour until it was time!!

If a woman can do it silently then good on her. But everybody deals with it differently.

sarahitaly · 24/12/2010 21:03

My husband says I howled like a deeply hacked off wolf for 24 hours and only shut up when they wheeled me off, paralyzed from the neck down for the C sec.

I was neither trying to be quiet, nor trying to make my feelings heard, that's just the noise that came out of me, of its own accord, with each and every contraction.

What are the "not naturally quiet during labour" supposed to do ? Multitask and try to work on volume control whilst focusing on get through one contraction at a time ?

Bugger that for a game of soldiers. LOL

Mists · 24/12/2010 21:04

I tried to be stoic when I had DD and was encouraged to "screech" which helped a bit during the pushing stage.

Waters broke and all disappeared hours before my first contractions with DS and the word "cunting" featured heavily Xmas Blush

I don't think I am television material Xmas Grin

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 24/12/2010 21:14

Hell no! YANBU in the slightest.

Those of us who give birth in a dignified and un-medicated manner are goddesses. Those of us (like me, the second time round) who give birth cursing up a blue streak and offering to marry the anaesthetist when he puts in the epidural are also goddesses. Those of us (also like me, the first time round) who have a section - also goddesses. Are you seeing the link here?

We are all awesome, and should be proud of ourselves and each other however we happen to land our little ones in the world.

Have a wonderful Christmas with your partner and baby, and congratulations!

BitOfFun · 24/12/2010 21:16

Oh dear. I seem to have welled up a little bit at Outrageous' post Xmas Blush

She is quite right though.

violethill · 24/12/2010 21:17

YANBU.

I was fairly quiet for the first stage, but pushing the baby out... ring of fire and all that... jeez I screamed and cursed with all my might!

peppapighastakenovermylife · 24/12/2010 21:19

Why should women feel the need to be silent in labour Sad. It bloody hurts Grin - in any other situation people would make a noise. Somehow being silent has become associated with 'coping' (e.g. not making a fuss and bothering people) and therefore being 'good'

People cope differently. I tend to swear a lot. Comically so Grin. Some people are quiet, many many more are noisy.

FWIW I found my third birth so much more intense than the others - quick but the costractions were so so strong.

And congratulations Smile

scouserabroad · 24/12/2010 21:24

Just because childbirth is normal and natural etc. doesn't mean it isn't bloody painful!

I was fairly quiet until I saw the midwife aim for my fanjo region with a pair of scissors to do an episiotomy, with no anaesthetic, then I screamed with sheer terror Shock Grin I even had a sore throat the next day (and a sore fanjo, but that goes without saying!)

conkertree · 24/12/2010 21:26

Yanbu. With ds1 I was fairly quiet with a three hour pushing stage, with ds2 I mooed like a cow.

Neither was deliberate.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 24/12/2010 21:51

I growled and mooed.

And for about 3 hours I demanded a kiss from my husband between every contraction. Hmm

I think when you are pushing a person out of a tiny tiny hole (compared to the size of the person's head!) you get to do whatever the bloody hell you like, and anyone who has anything to say about it can either shit out a pineapple or shut the fuck up.

InterruptingCow · 24/12/2010 22:04

YANBU. I screamed so much that I had a sore throat the next day. It bloody hurt!

Kato77 · 24/12/2010 22:17

I made a lot of noise too from the early stage when midwives are still saying dissmissive things like "you are only 5cm". At one point the midwife came in to check me, chatted to DP who was watching TV, ignored me crouching in corner hanging onto bars and groaning like a Friesien cow and while walking out looked at me in horror and said "Did you make that noise?"

Chynah · 24/12/2010 22:30

really - why care??!! Pretty sure you don't get a prize for being silent.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/12/2010 22:36

YANBU

i screamed cried boaked and probably pooed aswell. who cares you do whatever it takes to lessen the pain and get it over with.

Beamur · 24/12/2010 22:38

I sobbed and sobbed, and wailed - so much so I recall DP telling me I had to stop at some point and breathe in...

onepieceoflollipop · 24/12/2010 22:42

I didn't make a massive amount of noise afaik but I did talk utter and complete rubbish (more so than normal Wink) throughout the whole experience, I blame the gas and air really.

TheSecondComing · 24/12/2010 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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