If you agree to babysit, you should bloomin' well babysit!

[theresapotatoundermysink]

I know you guys won't be shy giving me your honest opinions. I'm so mad and feel let down.

I have a 6 month old DD and am a lone parent. My parents had agreed to babysit for me on NYE so that I can go to my friends party. They had said it didn't make any difference to them and that they weren't that bothered about NYE. This was about a month ago.

So tonight I have a conversation with my sister about NYE and she casually mentions mum and dad are going away for the night to visit some friends. They hadn't even told me! I called up my mum and she said she 'has to carry on living her own life' and can't change her plans because of me. I just don't understand why she agreed to babysit if she intended to change her plans! And didn't even let me know!

AIBU to be pissed off?

No you are not!

They didn't let you know. At what point were they going to tell you? Did you ask?

Fine, they want to go away. But they had agreed to babysit! They should have told you they were no longer able to do so.

I hope you asked her why she agreed to babysit in the first place!

YANBU

I hope you mentioned that the whole point is that you weren't expecting her to change her plans - i.e. that she had planned to babysit!!

I think it's one thing to forget you had promised to help out, quite another to be defensive about forgetting by blaming you for asking!
Is she likely to apologise when she's had time to think about it?

My friend's parents are the same and so when they agree to babysit, I'm always on standby and usually end up being used. Some parents just suck and are great at the guilt trip thing. Don't take it personally - it could build into bitter resentment, but keep it in mind for the future. But, yes, you have every right to be pissed off!

YANBU. Of course your parents need to have their own life but the arrangements made first should stand. They didn't say they might babysit providing they don't get a better offer - they said they would babysit. Equally if they had arranged to see friends first I wouldn't expect them to drop everything to babysit for you.
At least you know not to rely on them for anything important!

YANBU. If they've agreed to sit, they should do so. If they suddenly get a better offer for NYE, they should have run it past you first. As Scrumpy says, try not to let it poison your relationship, but don't rely on them in the future.

ooh that is infuriating
No, they shouldn't be expected to drop everything to babysit but they had agreed

when were they planning on letting you know?

Phew. Thank you for reassuring me I'm not being a cow!

I don't know, she may apologize in the morning. I think she got defensive because she knows she's in the wrong.

It just really upsets me because I don't ask for help very often, especially considering I'm on my own. I think its time for me to look elsewhere for some trusty babysitters.

And the whole 'living our own lives' line really pisses me off. If you met my mother for a second you'd know there'd be no way in HELL she'd do anything otherwise!

I'll do it . I would love a scrummy cuddly baby to look after .

Aw thank you fab, you really are

YANBU if they have said they will do it they should follow it through. This has happend to us a few times it's like when a better offer comes along we are dropped like a hot potato.

Next time keep throwing it into conversation every so often so they can't forget

Hope you get a sitter

Yanbu

My mum does this a fair bit.

YANBU. You are not forcing her to babysit, she agreed and should tell you if she has other plans.

But, if my mum genuinely gets a fun offer when having agreed to babysit generally it's her call as to what to do. At the end of the day it's my child not hers and I'd hate her to miss out on fun just as an obligation to me.

However, if your mum is going away with your dad (I.e. Not friends) then she shouldn't have agreed to babysit in the first place and should definitely told you before your sister.