...to think my cat is gifted and talented?

[IvantaOuiOui]

Most of the time he just lies in front of the fire, licks his arse and dribbles, but when he wants to to wake up in the morning and feed him, he will repeatedly tap my arm with his paw. And if I doze off he will tap me even harder.

Anyone else got a feline genius?

When I was a teenager, our cats used to know when mum went to the shed to get carrots for a casserole. They didn't even have to see her go in there - they'd just magically appear in the kitchen, waiting for the little bits of casserole beef that would 'fall off the knife' for them.

They only did this magic appearance trick when mum was getting carrots for casserole, not if she went in the shed for any other reason.

Watch the Simon's Cat clips here. They're hilarious!

Our cat has this toy bird, and every night at around 10pm, she walks around the house with it in her mouth, making this loud wailing sound. The thing is, it sounds just like a woman having sex. We didn't realise this until we had a couple staying at our house, and the woman said in the morning, "hey you guys sounded like you were having fun last night!".

We now warn people in advance.

I was given some Paris Hilton perfume as a gift ages ago (its actually nice) and it came with a limited edition chihuahua toy thing called Tinkerbell, which is life sized - I put it in a bag for the charity shop only to find large cat brutally savaging it! He still has it and carries it round the house and wrestles it. If you say 'wheres Tink?!' he flattens himself on the floor and waits for you to throw it so he can give it his best shot at destroying it

My cat, Cleo, used to follow me round the house when I was drunk ill, watching over me like a tortie-and-white Florence Nightingale, although with a slight disapproving look on her face.

She went awol a couple of years ago and was brought back several times by some people round the corner from us. She went off again and this time the man came round and said she was at theirs, then went on to say she had first come to them on the first anniversary of his wife's death and had greatly cheered his two young children. It seemed Florence Nightingale was at work again, so I told him to keep her, since that was where she obviously wanted to be, on a long-term loan, so to speak.

She came back for one night this summer, then just a few weeks ago a note was popped through my door saying she had died after a short illness and that she had been a great friend to them all.

She was 22 when she died.

Sorry, not a humourous tale, but she was a fab cat and I loved her dearly.

My pet Steven is the source of many a Proud Mummy moment, I have to say.

He is a huge mackerel tabby with fat white paws, fine teeth and raggedy ears (was a gentleman of the road for some time) but has the sweet nature of a tiny kitten - he sleeps on me, purrs madly and rolls with love (most impressive, in both senses, as weighs 25lbs.)

When wishing to be partic appealing, he flings himself onto my knee, and lies on his back with all four limbs perpendicular, waggling fluffy tummy for a cuddle (as I struggle to avoid toppling from sofa).

He has his own Zhu Zhu hamster and cashmere blanket. I secretly want to get him a Cat Nanny if he is left on his own in the daytime.

My Steve is not spoilt - he is brought up in the "unconditional" manner.

my cat retrieves things - her favourite thing to chase and bring back is a pipe cleaner. I'm convinced she says hello too. when she first comes into a room she uses a particular meow

My cat Daisy RIP once hid in a Harvey Nichols bag that DH had just bought a turkey home in (he used to work there and the staff discount was good!) he'd gone to change and I'd out the turkey in the fridge, when DH returned to the kitchen Daisy the cat jumped out of the bag, you know one of those Harrier Jump Jet style jumps cats do with all fours splayed.

DH was so surpised he jumped very much like the cat and clutched his chest, I of course wept with laughter!

Shodan you have me reaching for the tissues.

When I'd had my second MC between DS's, Daisy came sat on my bed when I came out of hospital with he body all long and her head on her front paws and looked at me and just rolled her eyes as if to say 'that sucks'

Molly knows how to open doors, but can't actually do it - we have door knobs. She stands on her hind legs and scratches at them, sometimes jumping up and hanging from them in an attempt to make them open.

She also talks to herself All. The. Time. she walks around the house "muttering" under her breath in little grumbling noises.

She also "barks". When she gets overexcited she runs around the house making "rarf, rarf" noises!

She has a way of looking at you that seems to say "Puny human. Soon you will feel my wrath"!

Well, my cat is so gifted she went to school. Joined a small group of kids, followed them up the road and presented herself in the infants classroom. Then it all went a bit wrong as the headmistress instead of admitting her went crazy, the cat panicked and ran for sanctuary in the nature garden where she hid all day, only coming out when we drove the car up and revved the engine. Naturally, being gifted and talented, she recognised the engine and came out. Not liking travelling in cars, she then had to be walked home again. Honestly, isn't it just so annoying when talent goes unrecognised AND I pay my taxes don't you know

what a funny thread.
my cats pretty talented weird as he thinks he is a dog and plays fetch!

Had to bump this to say I have sadly arrived at the conclusion my cat is not G&T, after having to hold him down and remove a Christmas tree needle from his nose.

I was talking to someone recently who said her cat did a poo in the toilet!

My cat's so clever she overthinks things. Whereas most cats get the hang of cat flaps by bashing their heads against them, Rosie has extrapolated from her knowledge of ordinary doors and decided they need pushing from one side and pulling from the other. This led to her getting trapped in the new posh cat tray so we had to take the door off. She was very dusty and pleased to be out and needed a sardine.

When I was growing up, we had one of those 'Ali Baba jar' laundry baskets, in the bathroom. Both cats used to like to sleep in there, especially when it was nice and full, and we usually knew that they were in there because the lid would be knocked ajar.

However, one day one of them got in there and managed to knock the lid back into place, before settling down for a nap. When she awoke, she simply sat upright, and as the basket was very full, this meant that the basket lid slowly rose until she was peering out from inside the basket.

This came as something of a shock to the guest who was sitting on the loo (opposite the washing basket) at the time!!

Cat number 1 wakes me by grooming my eyebrows - 'tis very unpleasant.

In work (a school) there are two cats who come and sit on the windowsil and peer in while I am teaching - they are obviously G&T.
I was rather boastfully saying that they never ever visited any other classroom but mine (obviously discerning cats) when a colleague pointed out that mine was the only room with windowsils

One of our cats is very, very good indeed at identifying the fact that my mother hates cats, and smarming up to her. I am very proud of her.