To not want to change my plans for Christmas morning?

[follyfoot]

DD has always wanted to go to New York, its her big dream. I got made redundant in October and got some redundancy money and luckily, last week I got another job so will be earning again from the new year. As a huge surprise for her, I've booked a trip to NY for the two of us (DH not interested ).

Have got it all planned for Christmas morning so that when she opens her pressies first thing, there will be some NY themed things in amongst her other small gifts, and as she unwraps more things, the gifts will give bigger hints, so the last two are a luggage strap with US appropriate padlock (its got a USA flag on the packet) followed by two USA plug adaptors....then we'll give her the tickets. Cant wait to see her face. She and I had a very tough time in the past (DV) and it will be the trip of a lifetime for us. Have spent ages planning the build up to her finding out on Christmas day.

My Mum has been in touch to ask us not to give her the tickets until she gets there (lunchtime). Sorry this will prob sound v selfish, but she always opens her pressies at breakfast time and I dont want to do anything different this year to make her suspect there is a huge surprise is in the offing. Because of the way the small presents will drop hints, we'd have to not let her have any gifts in the morning at all. Am not normally a control freak, but have spent ages planning this and its making me smile just thinking about the build up to the BIG present!

Should I abandon the plans and not give her the ticket until my Mum and the inlaws get there? Have offered to video it all with the new camera I might be getting for Christmas from DH

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I will go ahead with plan A and try not to feel guilty (although as I said before, I know the first thing she will say is how she wished she had been there). I've a difficult relationship with my mother - an awful lot of putting me down but telling others how proud of me she is if that sounds familiar to anyone.

Many moons ago, she and I went to New York. Twice already when telling her about this trip, she has said to me 'you must take DD on a carriage ride round Central Park because I wanted to go on one when we went, but you refused'.

Its because of our relationship I wanted to ask about Christmas day on here - wanted to check whether I was being unreasonable because we arent close. Seems that its OK to do it my way, so I shall.

Will let you all know how it goes, thanks again.

A carriage ride round central park sounds dire. Couldn't she have gone on her own whilst you hired some roller skates or did everything have to be done together?
I'd tell her you and your daughter will do what the 2 of you want to do and you hope your daughter doesn't dwell on the things she wasn't able to do when she returns.

Sounds like you did well accompanying your mother to New York if she's that ungrateful.

I'd just reply "I'm sure you can imagine it, you can chat to her about it now" and leave the room on an "errand" if she does the missing her face line and act unbothered.

Ooh, your last post seals it for me follyfoot - if you mum still hasn't got over that, she needs to grow up. Don't risk spoiling your DD's surprise for her.

It was 20 years ago isitmeor have to say I dont have the foggiest recollection of it....

As I said...be selfish this time.

YANBU.

This is your surprise for your DD, its nothing to do with your mum or ILs.

I would want to keep it just as you have planned it, it sounds very exciting!! Can I come?

Ok my mind is changed, then. If you're not close and she's unkind to you like that, then definitely don't go out of your way and wait for her. I'm so sorry that your mom treat you like that :(

Please do let us know :) so excited for your DD. I used to live in NYC. It's a lovely place to visit.

You might want to save up for that ride around CP though, I can't recall how much it was in 2007 when I was there last, but I was at the time!