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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think DP is being ridiculous and selfish

81 replies

MummyKnows · 16/12/2010 07:36

a few weeks ago I ordered some stuff from argos. The next day DP decided he would order some stuff too. Cut long story short, DP's stuff was delivered first. Mine is still to arrive!! still, that's just the way it goes isn't it? So anyway two weeks ago I ordered some books off amazon. Half an hour later DP decided to order some books off amazon Hmm. Then the snow hit and nothing got delivered for ages. Then yesterday my books arrived. No sign of his. So he went off on one, swearing, moaning, kicking off saying it was "fucking stupid" that mine had turned up first when the orders were only half hour apart and that he was "fucking fuming". His main concern was that my books had arrived before his. God forbid I get something without him!! yet it was fine that all his argos stuff came before mine!! so I said to him "if your books had arrived and mine hadn't you wouldn't give a shit, would you?" and he didn't even answer.
Am I over-reacting or does this show a really spiteful and nasty side to his nature?
We're planning on marriage next year but this kind of thing really puts me off him and makes me wonder if we'd really be suited long term.

OP posts:
heartsnflowers · 16/12/2010 08:45

And his language would be a deal breaker for me.

overmydeadbody · 16/12/2010 08:58

Do NOT marry this sorry excuse for a man.

catfunt · 16/12/2010 09:02

sounds like my exH, every time i bought something whether for myself or the children he had to get something too, which long term had the effect of meaning i never bought anything at all if i could avoid it as i knew it would cost twice as much! even now i struggle to get maintenance out of him as he "needs" money for himself more...

diddl · 16/12/2010 09:05

Apart from the fact that he´s behaviour about your things arriving forst is pathetic-he´s actually buying stuff because you do?

That´s wierd, isn´t it?

No, couldn´t be doing with that.

It would send me running tbh.

muddleduck · 16/12/2010 09:07

Assuming that you are a kind loving person ... You deserve to be married to another kind loving person. This man is not these things.

muddleduck · 16/12/2010 09:10

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership not a competition.

Morloth · 16/12/2010 09:18

I would definitely let him walk out the door first, ensuring that it didn't hit him in the arse on the way out, then lock it afterwards...

dockate · 16/12/2010 09:21

YANBU. What a twunt!

expatinscotland · 16/12/2010 09:22

Why on Earth are you with this person?

FGS. Life is hard enough without a child in an adult's body.

Lulumaam · 16/12/2010 09:26

don't marry him

you are lucky he is showing this side of his personality before you get married

agree that this sort of behaviour will manifest itself in many worse ways when babies arrive

he does not respect you. it is very clear

TrillianAstra · 16/12/2010 09:30

It is ridiculous to say 'leave him' over some parcels arriving/not arriving.

But really, is this someone you want to spend your life with?

glastocat · 16/12/2010 09:57

Your partner, for example, is a twat.

HowToLookGoodGlaikit · 16/12/2010 10:02

Sorry, but he sounds very very odd.

QuizteamBleakley · 16/12/2010 10:07

Sounds to me like you are very close to The Cornflake Stage...

To test: sit in the same room as him when he's having his cereal. There can be no other distraction (radio, tv etc). If the sound of him munching his way through his cereal makes you want to hit him repeatedly with a brick / haddock / anything (no matter the irrationality) then you have reached The Cornflake Stage and must Get Rid, forthwith.

MorticiaAddams · 16/12/2010 10:09

I wouldn't accept that behaviour from a child let alone an adult.

If you want to give this relationship a go you need to sit down and explain his behaviour to him and why it's not acceptable. It sounds as though there is something big that is clouding his judgement and needs to be got out in the open. It may be something completely unjustified but you need to know why he acts like this.

Do you have children together?

Porcelain · 16/12/2010 10:09

Wow, competitive post! That's one thing even me and DH never thought about competing for, good going Wink

chaya5738 · 16/12/2010 10:11

Yikes. I really sounds like you aren't working as a team at all. Surely you should both want each others thing to arrive in due time and have some empathy for the other?

Gay40 · 16/12/2010 10:11

He's a silly c**t. Do not marry this arse of an overgrown child.

englandsmistress · 16/12/2010 10:14

What do you like about him mummyknows ?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 16/12/2010 10:21

Seriously ?

2rebecca · 16/12/2010 10:27

Agree. I don't expect my husband to carry all parcels for me and open doors constantly etc, but I do expect us to behave as though we care about each other. If my husband didn't help me with parcels, or me him that would be uncaring. The key thing just sounds selfish.
If you marry him you can't complain in a couple of years that he's a selfish bloke who never does more than he has to as the signs are there.
I wouldn't want to marry someone who swore at me over a late parcel delivery.

RawDEal · 16/12/2010 10:28

Life is too short to argue over amazon parcels. He sounds like an odd ball.

RawDEal · 16/12/2010 10:28

Life is too short to argue over amazon parcels. He sounds like an odd ball.

Original poster
MummyKnows · 16/12/2010 10:41

We used to get on really well, it's just slowly gone down hill over the past year or so but when you ask, I really can't pinpoint what I do like about him anymore. I don't know if that's just because he's being such a prat lately or whatever but I really struggle when someone asks "why are you marrying him?"
The cornflake test has already been done. He grabs a bowl of cornflakes on a night time and sits there muching away and I almost shake with uncontrollable anger!
It's every little thing though lately that annoys me which is what makes me wonder if its more to do with ME than him. Like the shit he watches on TV. He's obsessed with "Merlin" and records it religiously. Midsomer murders, a touch of frost etc etc - it annoys me and I know it shouldn't. (I don't watch TV).
We were looking for a movie to watch at cinema just me and him and I was looking at the more adult stuff and he starts on about Harry bloody Potter.
Sometimes I just wonder if I'd actually be suited to ANYONE because every little thing seems to annoy me.
But then he'll do something stupid like moan because I used the big cup and gave him a smaller cup or kick off because I've got mud on the carpet (but when he does it it doesn't get mentioned) or he'll turn the fire up when he's in the room and then turn it right down when he leaves the room with no regard to me still in there and I think "actually, no - that is NOT normal behaviour"

OP posts:
SkiingGardeningTwinklyBauble · 16/12/2010 10:43

Marriage is a partnership. He sounds like he is unable to work in a team, which is what you would be. He seems to have o consideration at all for others.

Imagine 50 years of it. Imagine what this might develop into if he started out in the relationship behaving considerately.

Then either discuss it with him and see what he says, or run for the hills.

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