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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give up on DD2's reading

18 replies

Sonnet · 15/12/2010 15:44

and let nature just take it's course...

I have read and enjoyed picture books with DD2 since she was a few months old. We all read - including the other DC - a lot in this house. We go to the library reguarly and our house is groaning with books.

DD2 can read well - she just dosn't like it. I have tried many many things - she read a bit, I read a bit. 10 mins only etc. I still read to her every night.

English used to be her strongest subject but every school report/parents evening it is becoming weaker and weaker. According to her latest report she now "sits below the middle and her problems with English stem from her lack of reading"

She has had her eyes tested.

I am fed up with having huge rows every day about reading.
Anyone else gone through this???
WWYD?????

OP posts:

ConnorTraceptive · 15/12/2010 15:46

Could you take a different route to reading for example get her a comic book subscription?

Galena · 15/12/2010 15:48

Have you asked her why she doesn't enjoy it? Is it the content of the books, the process of reading or something else?

Perhaps if she could tell you a little of why she doesn't enjoy it you'd know where to go next.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 15/12/2010 15:52

How old is she? Have you asked her how the page and words look when she reads?

Reason I'm asking is that my DD1 (now 16) has scotopic sensitivity (also known as mearles irlen syndrome.) To her the white of the page really glares and gives her headaches. the words have a tendency to blur and go fuzzy, making tracking on the page difficult.
This is not readily assesed at most opticians, some specialist ones do an assesment, where abouts are you?
She has tinted lenses, got them when she was 10. She went from hating reading to always having her nose in a book.
She also has mild dyslexia, but is doing very well now we have the scotopic sensitivity under control.

christmaswrapping · 15/12/2010 15:54

How old is your dd?
I recommend perservering.
A friend made this suggestion to me and it worked with my dc.
For each page read, they get a 1p. The drive started out to be to earn money. Amazing how many books they can read, when 70 pages = 70p!!!
However, it had the desired effect, that after realising that reading was fun, and enjoyable within 2 months, they were reading, and not recording number of pages for cash. And within 6 months they were just reading, with no payment.

AMumInScotland · 15/12/2010 15:55

How old is she? I'd certainly stop having rows every day about it, whatever the age. If she's still at primary school, I'd probably just back off for a while and hope it would settle out once the pressure was off. If secondary, I'd be trying to find out what the issue is, and looking for different kinds of things she could read, as reading widely really does make a difference to English and any other subject where you have to give longer written answers.

Original poster

Sonnet · 15/12/2010 16:10

She is 9, 10 in Jan. I have just asked her why she dosnt like reading and she has given the reply she always gives "it is boring and i have better things to do".....i use to think it was because she had not found "the book" hence me carrying on reading to her.
Bribery no good as she wants at least 5p per page and i would have to negotiate every day! ...
Scoptic sensitivity sounds interesting...
Thank you all for your advice. I am just fed up of the shouting s d crying (frcom her!)

OP posts:

verytellytubby · 15/12/2010 16:10

How old is she?

jacquiel · 15/12/2010 16:11

assuming there are no physical problems -
I had the same with DD - to avoid conflict school recommended to get stuff like comics, annuals etc - light reading.
She read no chapter books etc until year 7 when she started jacqueline wilson and harry potter
Not an ultra keen reader unlike siblings but reads occasional books.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 15/12/2010 16:14

Had a close friend who's daughter was similar. They argued no end about it, but eventually tested her for scotopic sensitivity. It made a huge difference. For her reading was hard but still possible so she didn't enjoy it.
It really might be worth having her tested for it.

Chil1234 · 15/12/2010 16:17

How do you know she can read well if she refuses to do it? Often lack of ability/confidence makes children defensive.
Keep pushing with the teachers. After all, it isn't actually your job to teach her to read - just support the process - and if she has a personal problem with you then she may do better with remedial help unconnected to home.

AMumInScotland · 15/12/2010 16:20

You could try factual books - something about a subject she finds interesting. And comics/magazines - they take the pressure off because you can dip into one story or article and don't have to "sign up" to reading the whole thing like a book.

Original poster

Sonnet · 15/12/2010 21:21

Sorry had to deal with RL

She was keen on the Allan Ahrlberg Books - ie the Boy who wore all his clothes etc and they were in comic book format so I will look into more of those. - thanks

Thanks also for the tip on Scotopic sensitivity

She does like poetry - so maybe that is the way to go as well.

I will carry on reading to her.

Chil1234 - I know she can read well because when she does read aloud she does so very well - teachers also think that. Her comprension skills are good as is her spelling. As far as I am aware I am not teaching her to read just supporting her although I do believe that education in the home is important too and not just a "job for teachers". But thank-you, maybe we are at a stage when remedial help is needed.

TBH - she maybe is normal, just not what I am used to with the other DC

OP posts:

freerangeeggs · 15/12/2010 21:59

If you row with her you'll just reinforce her dislike of reading. I'm not really surprised she doesn't want to if it's causing arguments.

If she's a good reader I'm sure she'll pick it up again at some point - it might just be a phase she's going through.

If I were you I'd take the pressure off for a while and let her read for enjoyment when she chooses to. Keep buying books she might like and leave them lying around in places where she can find them.

What about audio books that she could listen to in the bath/in bed?

Original poster

Sonnet · 16/12/2010 07:13

thanks freerangeeggs - pretty much my school of thought a couple of years ago and the advice i gave on here once years ago

She did listen to audio books for a while -n will leave some laying about...
thank you

OP posts:

onceamai · 16/12/2010 07:32

My god son was like this - his mum spent years stuggling and worrying. He's 13 and the lights have just come on and he's coming round at the weekend to chose whatever he wants from my ds's bookcases.

narkypuffin · 16/12/2010 08:13

If she has older siblings I'd try the 'unsuitable' book trick. It's amazing how not being allowed to read something makes it irresistable. Something casually left around that is not for her might spur her on.

Bonsoir · 16/12/2010 08:17

You need to re-engage your DD with English and with language without books in the first instance.

What films does she like to watch? Films are an excellent source of quality language and story telling. Buy her unlimited quality DVDs and let her watch them, and then use that as a platform to get her to read the corresponding literature.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 16/12/2010 08:17

ahhh - DS1 went through a phase like this a couple of years ago. His teacher told me to let him read anything - no matter how rubbish.

So comics, the back of cereal packets, car manuals, games console instructions etc. Basically anything he wanted to read.

I did - and thankfully now he'll read anything very happily.

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