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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be irked when people address cards to Chaos and family?

23 replies

ChristmasTrolleyRage · 15/12/2010 14:22

Or even worse to Chaos and kids?

I know I have copious children, but if you don't know me well enough to know their names, well, just don't send a sleighing card then.

And if you can't be arsed to write their names, well shame on you, I hope your fairy falls orf.

OP posts:

earwicga · 15/12/2010 14:23

YANBU but I do do this as well. I don't always know the names, or how they are spelt.

Won't be doing it this year though because I can't be arsed to write out any cards :)

Seona1973 · 15/12/2010 14:23

I had to send one to 'someone and family' as I knew she had a new baby but didnt know her name - it was either that or no card at all. Everyone else got a card with everyones name on (even the sister in law with 5 kids and 1 step child)

PortlyBlackSantaUpAChimney · 15/12/2010 14:24

It's lazy isn't it? I always make a point of adding all the kids on large families.

However i can't if it's a mum from school and i don't know the husbands name - then i have to put 'and family' or it looks as if i've left him out.

Hassledge · 15/12/2010 14:24

I do this when I can't be sure if I've remembered the kids' names right. Surely it's better to do "and family" than "and Millie" when the DD's a Mollie?

In my defence, these would be members of DH's vast extended inbred family, rather than my actual friends.

southeastastra · 15/12/2010 14:25

sorry i do this as i have a zillion cousins and can just about remember their names, let alone their children

NorbertDentressangelOnTheTree · 15/12/2010 14:27

I always write the names inside the cards (unless I really can't remember the childrens names or can't remember if their grown-up are at home/left home/have partners etc).

However on the envelope I will sometimes write "The Smith Family" as its too long winded and takes up too much space to write " John, Jane, Peter, Paul, Mary and Ptolemy Smith"

Lonnie · 15/12/2010 14:28

I have plenty of female friends where I know them well from work know they have children and a husband (occationally know one or two of the kids names) but little idea of all of them or their partners name so I put

Merry Christmas one and all from the (surname) Big and small.

Its IMO not lazy it is done to ensure everyone I enjoy spending time with get a card. And to show them that I am including their family in my wishes for a happy christmas and newyear for them.

At school I also have a few women where I do not know their older childrens names (we moved here 3 years ago) or where I dont know their husbands name. In one case I dont know her new surname as she has just remarried I know changed name but not to what. I also know that his 2 children lives with them as well and goes to another school no clue what their names are, so it says to M and family

YABU

PortlyBlackSantaUpAChimney · 15/12/2010 14:28

Was ptolemy adopted?

PortlyBlackSantaUpAChimney · 15/12/2010 14:30

I severely cut down the cousins thing a feew years ago and only write cards to people i can remember all the names. It was soooo releasing...esp as DH comes from a large catholic family.

scarletbegonia · 15/12/2010 14:32

Don't mind at all, I don't want people to be spending their precious time writing out names on Christmas cards when they all probably have loads more presssing things to do.

I don't understand why names need to be inside the cards anyway - you know who you are, why do you need it inside the card ?

taintedsnow · 15/12/2010 14:33

I have no problem with this at all. I think it's being a tad oversensitive to get annoyed at it, although I do see why, in some cases, it could be laziness to not address the cards 'properly'. But I really don't mind if I get cards like this.

PortlyBlackSantaUpAChimney · 15/12/2010 14:33

scarlet - how about if there's no name in the card AND the signature is a stamp.

Now that is pretty lazy...

domesticsluttery · 15/12/2010 14:36

I addressed a card to "Ann and family" this year as Ann's husband has recently walked out on her for another woman but it isn't common knowledge yet, so I didn't want to put his name on it but at the same tiem I didn't want to just put her name and the children's names on it IYSWIM.

I think she understood.

(Ann is not her real name BTW)

NorbertDentressangelOnTheTree · 15/12/2010 14:37

Portly -I wondered if anyone would pick up on that!

BlitzenAndCupidsSleighDodger · 15/12/2010 14:39

[fgrin]@Portly.

scarletbegonia · 15/12/2010 14:40

Portly - if it's a hame made stamp from the John Bull stamp kit I would assume that the sender had managed to get their children to produce the cards and would be extremely jealous at the double time saving

mumblechum · 15/12/2010 14:43

Does anyone actually read the cards?

I just open them and leave them on the hall table put them on the mantlepiece

saffy85 · 15/12/2010 16:32

I do this. Not with everyone mind just one aunt of DP's who has 8 kids who she falls out with and makes up with several times throughout the year, every year. Rather than trying to care remember who has pissed off who this time I just address the card to XXX and family. So much easier.

DecorhatetheChristmasTree · 15/12/2010 16:37

I had to do this with a friend - last year I was about to post her card when I got one from her - signed from just her & her dcs. Turned out she and her dh had split up. So I quickly rewrote another card.

Over the past year they have been back together again and split up again a couple of times - so I erred on the safe side and sent the card to friend "and family" this year. Off course I have just had one back with her dhs name included!

5Foot5 · 15/12/2010 16:42

Yes we have done this too. Particularly with a friend DH has had since school since all her children have names which have dead weird Irish spellings so whilst we can probably say what their names are we are never confident we could get the spelling right.

BottleOfRum · 15/12/2010 16:47

Growing up, I was part of a large family, and we used to LOVE it when people got names wrong on the cards! We used to keep track of all the wrong ones e.g. "Sister no.2, ANOTHER person has not put your name on the card! No-one knows you exist" or "Brother no.1, apparently you are no longer a 'tim', but a 'tom' "

On behalf of all large families, I would like to request you attempt to put all names on the card, even if you are guessing! It makes reading Christmas cards far more enjoyable!

taffetazatyousantaclaus · 15/12/2010 16:47

My sister's FIL and MIL always send us a card even though we never see them, thank God, every year its had all our names on it. It arrived today inside it read To Taffeta, MrTaffeta and children.

They've forgotten. Its obvious they've forgotten. Very lazy - they speak to BIL every day, could have asked him. I'd rather not have the card, tbh.

Hulababy · 15/12/2010 16:49

I do it if I am not 100% on all the children's names in the family or not sure how to spell them. If I know them I do write all the names though, regardless of how many.

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