I'm actually not sure if aibu or not. but dd's friends don't just get each other one present but several. one girl gave 3. They're all quite little things - lip balm, soap, earrings etc. surely one of these is enough? it ends up with dd getting in a right flap about giving something equivalent. she was in tears tonight because she didn't think her presents (yes I let her get more than one) were good enough. It's not so much the money per se that bothers me, but its the sniff of money - it's the mental calculation that poor dd is doing - it just seems to undermine the whole idea and spirit of giving gifts. and I dread where we'll end up when she's in secondary school. or am I just being a mean old kill-joy...