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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To show my 11 year old Ds pictures of inflammed penises from a medical site....

63 replies

notremotelyintofootie · 12/12/2010 22:25

Well Aibu?

Did the laundry this weekend including ds's basket from his room and when sorting the dry stuff I noticed that there was no boxers and only 1 pair of his socks!

On a previous occasion this had happened and he promised to wear clean ones each day but it would seem this week he had been 'forgetting' to put clean ones on, even after a bath or shower!!!

I reiterated the importance of clean clothes and he does wear a clean shirt each day but it would seem he forgets to put on clean boxers, socks and vest! Yuk yuk yuk!! This amazes me as he is do fastidious over his appearance, he spends ages doing his hair and ensuring his uniform looks just right!!

Anyway I decided to go for the shock tactics and showed him some pictures on my iPhone from a few medical sites of inflamed and infected penises and told him that if he didn't change daily his 'willy' would end up like that and be really sore! I should have waited until he finished his roll I know but... Aibu to have done this?

OP posts:
ragged · 12/12/2010 22:26

right, marking my place now.

neverchuckaniphoneatgordo · 12/12/2010 22:26

ShockGrin

scurryfunge · 12/12/2010 22:27

ffs

Grumpla · 12/12/2010 22:27

Not if you're prepared to pay the bill for his therapy ;)

MsKalo · 12/12/2010 22:28

No, I don't think you are being unresonable! What was his response?! When he is older you could do the same with pics of STDS to scare him off having unprotected sex! Good idea! Grin

Tortington · 12/12/2010 22:28

i think it was overkill tbh.

i mean crusty gruds won't make your dick fall off

Goblinchild · 12/12/2010 22:28

Let's hope he knows how to wash his penis properly as well, have you discussed that too?
You will know if YWBU when he's changing his underwear three times a day and panicking over every spot. Grin

Eleison · 12/12/2010 22:29

YABU. What horrible scaremongering. Poor lad. He won't get an infection from not changing his pants.

victoriascrumptious · 12/12/2010 22:29

I'm not bothered about the showing a child medical pictures thing but I think YABU for humiliating him in such a way. You need to get your DH to make the point once and then move on.

How would you have liked it if your dad had showed you pictures of rancid vaginas at that age?

Goblinchild · 12/12/2010 22:31

I have a very clean teenager, but having talked to other parents of teens, I know that some have been driven to desperation by the grunginess of their beloved children.

christmasheave · 12/12/2010 22:31

Absolutely PMSL! Xmas Grin

I will be interested to find out whether this tactic worked.

juneybean · 12/12/2010 22:37

"You need to get your DH to make the point once and then move on."

And if she's a single parent?

Goblinchild · 12/12/2010 22:39

My DH has never coped with stuff like this.
I've always been the Oracle.

pigletmania · 12/12/2010 22:41

ROFL Xmas Grin

tallwivglasses · 12/12/2010 22:44

'crusty gruds', 'rancid vaginas'...Grin

Can't say if URBU until we hear how you approached this - was it in a light-hearted way, a stiff-upper-lip way or what?

And how did your poor DS respond?

WhyHavePets · 12/12/2010 22:46

If you are so in control of your 11 yo ds that you manage to make him wear vests still (lets face it I can't think of any boy in Y6/Y7 who would wear a vest) then why are you not in control enough to make him wear clean pants? Hmm

All sounds a bit odd to me.

Goblinchild · 12/12/2010 22:52

My 16 year old still wears a vest when it's very cold, and has clean underwear daily.
He also brushes his teeth.
Starting young is the key, I vote you continue to terrorise him OP.

Original poster
notremotelyintofootie · 12/12/2010 22:56

Ok... His dad is bloody useless and he always comes back saying he's desperate for a bath so no chance there! My dh, his step dad would say something if pushed but Ds always talks to me about everything and he has shown me his sore willy recently!

He is in year 7 and hasn't worn vests for 2-3 years but with the cold spell we've been having he asked me to get him some vests as he is getting cold between lessons etc and he is susceptible to chest infections in the winter (I'm a chronic asthmatic and he has tendencies toward it) so hd said he wanted to keep his chest warm... So vests are his choice, I only ask that he wears a fresh one each day...

It was done in a semi-light hearted way and yes it was out of desperation as his mind is so forgetful lately that he forgets within seconds so I hoped this would stick a bit longer! His response was gross! He has seen photos re sti's as part of sex education at school and he has always loved medical photos and when he was 6 he loved looking at brain diagrams in my text books and begs for stories from my dh of his times in the operating theatres! He was gutted he couldn't see his own eye injury 2 years ago too!

OP posts:
Original poster
notremotelyintofootie · 12/12/2010 23:01

With regards to controlling him, he Sets his own alarm and is up and dressed by 7, I come downstairs around half 7 with Dd who is 1 and make sure he has had breakfast etc before he goes to school just before 8... I remind him to brush his teeth daily too but half way up the stairs he forgets!!

He is pretty independent and knows how to do most chores and is very helpful, it's just this issue and keeping his room tidy!!

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 12/12/2010 23:06

Ah, he sounds like a lovely lad. He'll probably discover girls quite soon, then you'll never get him out of the bathroom...

classydiva · 12/12/2010 23:27

A bit extreme to be honest, far too extreme in fact.

So he didnt change his boxers for one day? Oh wow, that is not going to make his dick drop off or become inflamed. If he had not had a bath for ten days then maybe, but one pair of pants short?

get a grip.

Original poster
notremotelyintofootie · 12/12/2010 23:46

No, he didn't change his boxers or socks all week and even put same ones back on after bath/showers! There were no boxers in a weeks worth of laundry and only 1-2 pairs of socks... One day I could cope with, a week? Yuk!

OP posts:
Original poster
notremotelyintofootie · 12/12/2010 23:47

And this is the 3rd or 4th time it's happened despite nicey nice talks!

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 12/12/2010 23:53

We should link this thread to the next one where a poster is complaining about her OH's lack of hygiene and asking why he's such a slob.
The answer being that his mum didn't nag educate him as to its importance.

booyhohoho · 12/12/2010 23:56

why on earth should OP direct all hygiene related questions to another person??? surely she is quite capable of making her point without the help of a man?

does that mean i have to find a man when my son has a penis related query? Hmm

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