To show my 11 year old Ds pictures of inflammed penises from a medical site....

[notremotelyintofootie]

Well Aibu?

Did the laundry this weekend including ds's basket from his room and when sorting the dry stuff I noticed that there was no boxers and only 1 pair of his socks!

On a previous occasion this had happened and he promised to wear clean ones each day but it would seem this week he had been 'forgetting' to put clean ones on, even after a bath or shower!!!

I reiterated the importance of clean clothes and he does wear a clean shirt each day but it would seem he forgets to put on clean boxers, socks and vest! Yuk yuk yuk!! This amazes me as he is do fastidious over his appearance, he spends ages doing his hair and ensuring his uniform looks just right!!

Anyway I decided to go for the shock tactics and showed him some pictures on my iPhone from a few medical sites of inflamed and infected penises and told him that if he didn't change daily his 'willy' would end up like that and be really sore! I should have waited until he finished his roll I know but... Aibu to have done this?

notremotely, can't you sneak into his room and nick his underwear while he is asleep so he has to find clean in the morning - unless he sleeps in it all.

Shock tactics are sometimes the only way to get through to him - he's 11 not 3!

That's what you do with a small person.
With an 11 year old, you use more robust methods to make sure they take more responsibility for their slovenly behaviour.

He sleeps in them, except tonight as he forgot to take pants onto the bathroom so he informed me he's going comando under his pj's!

I must admit I am determined that when Ds is a grown man he doesnt become a sort of man moaned about on
Mn! Lol... He's already planned his way through uni and I'd going to buy a housevand nice car before he gets married and have kids so who knows at what age that'll be! At least he'll hopefully be clean and keep a tidy house!

yanbu

(this coming from a woman who showed her 4 yo dd pictures of skeletal anorexic people after she refused to eat for 3 weeks)

I'll bet that got her eating again?

op yanbu.

I think this is very funny. My ds has similar issues and will if not checked wear the same clothes for days (including sleeping in them). So I now swipe his bedclothes off at night and then throw PJs at him. I also have to ask both my children to put their underwear in their dirty clothes baskets (which are n their rooms, so not exactly hard work) and today when we did an enforced room tidy they both had dirty socks and pants stuffed all over the place. My two are 11 and 10 and I think it's just a scummy age!

Crikey, I was horrified by this until I read your later post about DS's fascination with macabre medical pictures! In general, I reckon it's right up there with teaching them masturbation makes you go blind ... but, hopefully, DS won't actually have believed you.

So it's okay as long as you're happy for your child to know he can't trust you, I guess

Yanbu. YUK!!

I think the comment about Ds not being able to trust me odd... A couple of the pictures were of candida infections which asaif is possible... Thrush is also possible... I didn't show him ones of penises with the plague or sti's, only ones that were remotely possible if allowed to fester in manky boxers...

Working in a hospital theatre I have seen some pretty awful sights with manky, unloved willys.

YANBU !!

OP YANBU, I think it is a good approach - Thrush is a distinct possibility if he doesn't change regularly.

Besides, if you have medical/nursing textbooks lying around I'm sure at 11 he has already looked at the willies.

Well, I would directly ask him each morning, or before he pops into the shower, remind him to grab fresh undies.
I probably wouldn't have shown him the pics, but I don't think it will damage him. Hopefully your plan works.

I take that back, then - it wasn't clear that you'd limited your gallery to directly relevant risks. There was a little health series on the telly recently, where the presenters got the players from a Sunday football team to drop their shorts and have their willies examined

Over half had crusty smegma down there! The programme then went on to teach viewers how to wash a penis ...

"crusty smegma" - boak!!!
My 8 year old DS is a bit of a minger - his repsonse to being told its bathtime is to adopt a Ninja warrior stance and yell "you'll never take me alive!!".
He also HATES wearing underwear - he's a bit OCD but he has to wear them for school days and he goes commando as soon as he gets home.

Congratulations. You are completely unhinged. :o

Ironically he probably is at risk at developing jock itch from wearing boxers and pjs to bed. Nothing to do with cleanliness. Temperature.

Ifeel the need to make sure our boys stay clean after we were at a friends house when her sone got out of the bath to ask dad what "this stuff" is dad said" it is nob cheese and it means you havent been washing properly, now get back inthe bath."

Not keen on that happening whenwe have friends eound for dinner

YANBU

Candida and thrush are the same thing, no?

But don't think yabu

Photos of sti's was one of the most effective sex ed I had, along with the story our biology teacher told us about his sister being sewn up too tight after giving birth and not being able to poo!

YANBU.

it's only the same as the shock tactics the government is using to stop us drink driving, or binge drinking, so...

I hope that if he's so fascinated with medical stuff, that he'll think about doing Medicine at uni and become a doctor.

I'm just concerned because people with perfectly good hygiene and lifestyles contract infections, and I'm worried something like that might make him judgemental of people with skin complaints (thinking they "deserve" it because they are "dirty") or full or guilt if he gets a disease himself for doing "something wrong". Not to mention it's humiliating to have your mum pull up pictures of that, and completely different from a classroom environment.

I might need those picture of rancid vaginas. DD (12) wears the same crusty knickers day after day. And yes, sometimes she smells. She dislikes it when I tell her so, but not enough to change them.

Op, I have now wound my neck in and decided IWBU for responding as I did. I am sure you were adult enough not to take it to heart but thought I should come back and acknowledge my error rather than just slinking off! Sorry for being a bit of a cow!

Whyhavepets you aren't a cow! Lol...

Thank you everyone for your comments! Dh used to be an odp in operating theatres (neurosurgery his speciality) but now works in palliative care which is also my research area, albeit from the psychological side... Ds is currently planning on doing criminology at uni and either joining the police or becoming a politician- we'd love him to go into medicine but hebjustvhas a side interest in it at the moment!

Well today he had fresh boxers etc on as he had a bath before our chat last night so I will see in the morning if he puts on clean ones tomorrow!

Interesting comment above about boxers under pj's... I have never understood not wearing pants in bed, surely if you don't then you need clean pjs each night for hygiene reasons?

Is not wearing pants in bed a male thing?

My husband & son both sleep naked.

Daughter & I both sleep in pants & a tshirt.

Perhaps it´s a habit from having periods?

For as long as I can remember both of mine have had clean underwear every day, though.