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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think parents in my child's class may treat me and DS differently

33 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 12/12/2010 21:09

because I am a teacher in the school?

Pondering sending DS's to my school and moving into the village.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
activate · 12/12/2010 21:09

probably

TmiEdward · 12/12/2010 21:14

I teach my son.
I don't think anyone treats my son differently, the children or the parents.

The "school gate" is a bit harder for me. I'm not often party to the gossip and rumours, but I'm grateful for that most of the time.
I am quite involved in the PTA though, and so have a good relationship with some parents through that.

I'm always "professional" but I think it's good for the other parents to see that I'm a mum too, and that I suffer the same trials of parenting as they do. Teachers get a lot of stick, but being a "Mum" at the school means they get to see I'm human too!

toosoft · 12/12/2010 21:16

Depends. Teachers can often be harder on their own children. If you think it is in your DS's best interest, then why not.

SandStorm · 12/12/2010 21:19

I think the parents will treat you and you son exactly the same.

You may well find the other teachers treading on eggshells round you though. We had a teacher's child in our school who had definite issues (doesn't matter what they were) but the staff room banter/chat was decidedly stilted when she was there.

However, this was an exception child and it may not happen for you.

UniS · 12/12/2010 21:19

big school or small school?

plenty of TA have kids at same school. pupil confidentiality may be an issue you have to think about.

fayc84 · 12/12/2010 21:25

There were a few kids at my primary school whose mums were teachers at our school. They were never treated any differently from what I saw.

My mum taught at my high school for a while and the other kids thought she was 'cool'. I'd get comments like 'oh, I wish she was my mum' but generally no one paid any attention. There were quite a few kids whose parents taught at my high school but the only ones who were ever thought of differently were the ones who would go on about it themselves. Don't think any parents would bat an eyelid.

I don't think it would really be an issue so go for it if it makes sense for your family.

TmiEdward · 12/12/2010 21:27

Oh, yes. I agree UniS.
I have to save my disection of the day with DH until after DS has gone to bed now!

mumbar · 12/12/2010 21:33

My mum taught at my middle school, and sometimes me, shes a fab and well liked teacher so was never a problem.

My dad taught at the local secondary, some of my friends attended. Different environment, either liked or hated and sometimes I'd hear negative comments, the worst being 'he's a wanker'. You learn to ignore like most unpleasant things at school.

lilyliz · 12/12/2010 21:35

m.y sister taught me and if anything she was harder on me and everybody knew it,did'nt cause any problems till xmas party time,she was asking us to bring in food for the party and I put up a hand and said my sis would make fairy cakes:o

AuntiePickleBottom · 12/12/2010 21:35

ds has a friend in his class who's mum is a teacher in the school and tbh we don't see her as she is setting up the class room for the day.

i don't treat either mum or child any diffrent

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 12/12/2010 21:39

The only thing that really worries me is if DS fell out with another child etc....

Funny really but most teachers at my school advise me not to send DS as they didn't send their children as they worried about them not being well behaved! Makes me wonder if all teachers children are 'difficult' as a result of their parents being teachers! Grin

OP posts:
janet41 · 12/12/2010 21:40

i think it entirely depends on how you act/the school acts; we had a new boy arrive this term and it has had some awkward moments - firstly, the mom (teacher) asked for the boy to be moved class, and then let it be known to various of us that it was because she had heard the children were nicer in the other class; couple of other instances of less than tactful behaviour havent helped since then

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 12/12/2010 21:47

janet41 I think I would stay P/T keep my head down and get on and hopefully on the odd occasion (I hope!) learn to ignore him outside heads office!

OP posts:
Spinkle · 12/12/2010 21:56

My mum taught in my school.

She wasn't particularly 'cool' and I got a lot of stick for it.

I am now a teacher. I would never teach my son.

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 12/12/2010 22:12

why Sparkle?

OP posts:
Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 12/12/2010 22:13

sorry Spinkle!! :)

OP posts:
MumNWLondon · 12/12/2010 22:19

At my DC's school quite a few of the teachers have children in the school. As far as I can see the children are treated like any other children, and although the teachers might be treated a bit differently they are still parents (eg they come to PTA events, non parent teachers don't).

I don't think its ideal for the teachers to teach their own DC though - last year DS1's nursery teacher had her mum as her teacher and she (the daughter) spend the whole year clinging to her mum's clothes.

edam · 12/12/2010 22:24

ds's best friend is the son of the deputy head. Hasn't caused any problems at all as far as I can see (they are in Yr 3 and friend's older brother is in yr5).

footballsgalore · 12/12/2010 22:32

Taught DS1 for a year. No problems generally and was lovely to have him in the building. Got the odd hug at playtime Grin
Child care was easier too. Parents at the gate were fine, except that they often keep you in teacher role so say things like...I know it's not your day today but Jimmy hasn't had his reading book changed. Not really a problem though, although depends on the school and any potential issues or irate parents you may come into contact with.
BUT I had a major problem when the school got a new head and things went down hill. Eventually (long story!) I had to leave and therefore so did he. This was hard as he was very happy. Might be worth bearing this in mind. Will you stay there for the duration of their education? Is a change of Headteacher on the cards?

footballsgalore · 12/12/2010 22:34

Oh and he was also quite a good boy. Would have been embarrassing in the staff room if he'd been a little bu**er (like his little brother!!!)

sunnydelight · 12/12/2010 22:59

I would think the majority of teachers at our school who have children send them there. The school goes from pre-school to Y12 so they would be mad not to take advantage of the fee reduction. All of my kids have teachers children in their class, it would never occur to me to treat them any differently.

SkyBluePearl · 12/12/2010 23:07

4 of the teachers have kids at our school and it seems to work well. We have lovely teachers though and the kids seem not to mind having their parents around.

thesecondcoming · 12/12/2010 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mspontipine · 12/12/2010 23:39

Think it's a huge vote of confidence when they're at the same school :)

I'm always a bit Hmm at teachers who snd their children to other schools. Why? Do they think our school's not good enough for their children? Is theirs so much better ???

JSCandC · 13/12/2010 00:22

I have just gotten my 1st teaching job and i am at my dd1 schoolI do teach another class but I could get dd's class in the next few years, (I sent dd to the same school as it is the best in the town)

I dont think we get treated any difference, BUT I do not stand at the gate as I have to be in class earlier to get things sorted so dp takes dd1 to school or I take her with me earlier,

There is more teachers that have children in the same school and none of them are treat different, (the school is manly made up of drs and teachers (some from different schools) children