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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it is unreasonable to treat a woman like a lesser person

61 replies

KalokiMallow · 12/12/2010 00:45

just because of how she is dressed?

Is this how we want girls to grow up? Knowing that they will be judged for what they wear rather than who they are? Surely they should be free to wear what they like without having to worry about how they are seen?

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victoriascrumptious · 12/12/2010 00:47

Yeah, unless they're walking down a street in the west wearing a big fat burka over themselves as then i'd be judging them on the size of their brains

KalokiMallow · 12/12/2010 00:50

Really? So because they've made a choice to dress in a way you personally wouldn't, you'd assume they were intellectually inferior?

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AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 12/12/2010 00:54

But what you wear is a non-verbal language, it's your first impression of someone and what you are saying about yourself to other people.

You can try and swim against that grain, but it's the truth.

10 YO DD1 has just started taking an interest in what she wears, and because the tighter jeans are 'in' now I've told her that she shouldn't wear a tight top with tight trousers, loose top/tighter trouser or fitted top/cargo trous.

Tight clothes accentuate the body, and I don't think that's appropriate for a 10 YO.

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 12/12/2010 00:54

Thread about a thread, kaloki?

KalokiMallow · 12/12/2010 00:57

How about thread on a related subject wukter MN would be pretty empty if we weren't allowed to talk about more than one issue within a subject at a time.

Angel But if you saw someone in something skin tight would you talk badly of them for it? Or treat them like they are somehow worth less?

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AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 12/12/2010 00:58

I love a thread about a thread Grin Any links?

With clothes you're only talking about a first impression though, because once you get to know the person then you can make assumptions or judgements about the type of person they really are.

MerrilyDefective · 12/12/2010 00:58

Bring on Harry Hill.....
FIGHT

victoriascrumptious · 12/12/2010 00:58

No it's because they've signed up to everything that goes along with wearing a sack on their heads and twaddling about like a dalek.

I find it personally offensive and yes I consider them intellectually inferior.

(For the record I have no problem with anyone who would like to actually dress up as a real dalek, i'd hate to offend any Doctor Who fans here)

Sorry to spoil your socratic train Kaloki

victoriascrumptious · 12/12/2010 01:01

Is this a thread about tight trousers? I have become confuddled again. The issue with tight trousers is that you'd probably get a sweaty fanny. Nobody wants a sweaty fanny do they? do they?

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 12/12/2010 01:03

I might pass comment privately, but it depends on how they were behaving as to whether I thought badly of them.

There aren't many people who are shit hot at choosing what to wear, so if it was totally down to how people dressed you'd never talk to anyone.

I might think something about how they dressed, but it'd be a small thought and wouldn't affect how much I liked them.

DuelingFanio · 12/12/2010 01:03

croeso i Mumsnet Grin

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 12/12/2010 01:03

Or a thread about a remark on a thread, which seems more accurate.

If someone in a niqab called over to my house, i wouldn't offer them a bacon sandwich and a glass of wine.
If someone walked past me in a ballgown and tiara I wouldn't assume they were off down the allotment.
If someone gyrated in front of me in suspenders and thongs I'd assume they were intending to arouse me.

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 12/12/2010 01:04

Have I stumbled into the middle of a bun fight?

KalokiMallow · 12/12/2010 01:04

Angel threads about whether Xfactor should have had skimpy costumes pre-watershed went off on a tangent about how women shoudn't wear skimpy clothes at all. So I started a seperate thread so as not to confuse the two seperate issues. Not sure that counts as thread about a thread, or just going off on a tangent.

What gets me is the way women are talked about if they don't dress modestly, they are treated as if they are a disgrace. As if they should be ashamed.

Though what has amused me is that the first reply wasn't complaining about women wearing too little, but wearing too much. I don't think either end of the scale is particularly healthy. I mean, going by the attitudes displayed to what women wear makes me think that a woman could achieve a huge amount but have that achievement diminished because she wears a short skirt. When it should be about more than variable sizes of fabric.

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KalokiMallow · 12/12/2010 01:05

wukter But would you assume any of those people were somehow of less worth because of their clothes?

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southeastastra · 12/12/2010 01:05
walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 12/12/2010 01:06

But I don't think they're worth less Kaloki.

MerrilyDefective · 12/12/2010 01:06

If i wasn't so pissed tired i'd argue with you both about double negatives and stuff.
I'm a real Dalek..
EXTERMINATE,EXTERMINATE etc

notjustapotforsoup · 12/12/2010 01:07

------> the point

victoriascrumptious · 12/12/2010 01:07

I dressed up as a bumblebee today.
Cheered me right up.
Tights = sweaty fanny though.
I thought badly of myself for a second. Then I remembered that I was a bumble bee

KalokiMallow · 12/12/2010 01:08

victoria They may just like the look, you wouldn't know unless you spoke to them. But that aside, you'd think them to be worth less (no matter who they were or what they'd done) because of this?

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victoriascrumptious · 12/12/2010 01:09

Worth less? No. A bit dim, yes

Casmama · 12/12/2010 01:10

Second comment - big fat burka, size of brain, daleks, intellectually inferiour, tight trousers, sweaty fanny - I'm really not sure I would take this as a reflective view!

victoriascrumptious · 12/12/2010 01:11

But i'm talking about daleks and you're talking about birds with their norks out on Xfactor (sorry I don't watch it).

Bloody embarrassing going on Xfactor, no matter what you are wearing

KalokiMallow · 12/12/2010 01:11

My original post says "AIBU to think it is unreasonable to treat a woman like a lesser person just because of how she is dressed?"

So your comment about what a person in a ballgown was likely to be doing was not really answering that.

But it's good to know we agree.

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