Background is that I've known this friend for about 10 years, but we have become closer friends in the past 18 months. She is a lovely person, sweethearted, kind and very loyal.
Problem is, she has appauling personal hygiene. It is bad enough that I am beginning to not want her in my house. I feel terrible about even feeling that way because she's such a nice person and I consider her a close friend, but the smell is unbearable. I find myself holding my breath if she walks past me. It is a combination of body odour and dirt. I don't believe she washes her clothes very often if at all tbh.
The same thing seems to be happening with her DS. He is a baby and she claims to be bathing him nightly but he always has a certain scent to him and it isn't nice. It's not a pooey smell, it's a definite unwashed smell. I can't work out whether it's coming from his clothes (which never look clean) or from being held by his mum IYSWIM.
Their home is quite dirty as well. I don't think it gets cleaned and smells very bad also. I limit the amount of time I spend in there and do not take DN with me when I go. There is cat poo on the floor and dirty nappies strewn everywhere, for example.
What can I do? I feel awful to be even talking about this, but the smell my friend brings in with her when she comes to my house is getting quite unbearable. My DN is not a huggy child with other people, so it's not such an issue with him, but I know she'll want to hold my baby and she's so lovely and know she'll make a great 'aunt' if not for these issues.
How do I handle this? I can't bear the idea of hurting her feelings by telling her how bad she smells, but for her sake as much as anyone else's, it's not in my nature to let things deteriorate further.