Child Protection over Friends Only Facebook Pics

[HarrietSchulenberg]

At the nursery Christmas play parents were asked not to put photos on the internet in order to respect the privacy of other parents and children. I take internet security VERY seriously due to my paid work and that of my H, which requires absolute confidentiality. I am also a School Governor.

I put some pictures of my son on Facebook. My photos and profile are accessible only to my Friends, which comprise of a very small group of personal friends and family. The photos did not contain any reference to the school, the children (other than my son's first name), year group or other identifiable information. I never tag photos.

I received a phone call from the Child Protection officer from the School today. My photos had come to their attention and I was formally reminded of the need for internet security.

Through a process of elimination of my Facebook Friends (wasn't hard) I have worked out who is responsible. I am very hurt and surprised that this person has put me in this position, seeing as her own internet security is, at best, lax.

Have I been very stupid, or AIBU to think that I have not breached any child protection measures? I could just have well have printed the pics and shown them round at the school gates.

YABU because of your position as governor

You KNOW the school's express position and yet you disregard it

Why you are bleating now is beyond me

HTH

YABU
You were asked not to post photos on the internet. You did. Your "friend" could simply have reminded you herself rather than involve the school, but once the school were aware they had to act formally. It was unwise in your position. Take the photos off, and don't whinge.

It was unwise to put them on if asked not to. emailing them to individual people is different.
However grassing on you was not a "friendly" gesture so I would remove the grasser from your list of friends.
For my kids school we sign if OK or not for kids to be on school website , school newsleeter etc and my kids love to have their photo in public wherever possible. If they're clothed I really don't get the problem.
They're usually very clothed in nativity plays.

I have several friends won't use facebook etc at all especially for photos. It's not just the clothed/paedophile thought either. The childs parents are in the security forces in NI and don't want any chance that their child or childs school could be identified. I realise that this is a very one-off situation but you don't know what goes on in other peoples lives.

By the way they have signed a no photography form for the school but the school doesn't know what they do for a living so it's not a blanket ban, just means the school can't use their photos on website, in the paper etc.

She must have named her "friend" as someone who had shown photos on facebook when asked not to. I still think that is grassing. She could have just said "someone" had done it and not mentioned names or governers. She sounds like a stirrer.
One reason I only have about 10 "friends" on facebook, I know none of them would stitch me up.

Grassing? Are you 12?

Omerta...

Is betrayal a more grown up word? How about tale telling? To me the juvenile person here is the so called friend.
I wouldn't do this to a friend, if I was annoyed with her for putting up a photo I'd contact her personally and tell her so.
It sounds as though some of you would happily do this to your facebook "friends". Fair enough, we have different ideas of friendship.

I feel very uncomfortable with some of the things being said in here about children given up for adoption (and yes I know people are only speaking from their own experience, but it's worthwhile to point that it's a very narrow version of the experience being depicted).

I have 3 relatives who gave up babies/toddlers for adoption or into permanent foster care and none of them has ever had any intention of "tracking down", reclaiming or harassing their given-up children or the children's new family.

It was a painful decision taken with the best intentions and in the children's best interests.

OP's online security is so tight as to allow a random acquaintance to gossip to everyone about the contents of the album. I think the school has a point!

altinkum Sat 11-Dec-10 09:48:16 It's still not right that they school can display these photos, and the parents cannot

One of the children taking part in our nativity this year is adopted and his new identity and location can not be disclosed to his birth family for his safety. When photographs are taken in school by staff that will be shared with parents they are careful not to include him in the background of other children's photographs. Now photographs taken by parents during a performance may well include him ... that is the difference.

The thing is if someone wanted to track down a child they would be prepared to look through thousands of photos to find a child's location. They only need to find a pic of a child look for others in the same uniform. If a few people have listed names of location. Then they have found them.

Children identity needs to be kept save. This could be children in care, those escaping violent parent witness protection.

Just because something is not possible today doesn't mean it won't be tomorrow.

Our school has banned all pics I am hoping staff will take some and sell us one's of our own children.

In the situation that OP describes, Maryz, how would this parent/sibling find a link to your DD? What I mean is, OP describes posting photos with minimal Identification info. So presuming someone could recognise a child from there, and presuming they could work out roughly where that child lived or what school they attended, how would they make the leap from that info (where child attend school) to finding them on Facebook -- unless they had the adopted child's new name? Which you can search for on FB anyway, so photos need not be involved??

I realise that this parent/sibling could still lurk by the school gates to confront your DD, but I can't figure out how the leap to finding them on FB or elsewhere online would happen.

YABU. The photos were taken on school property at a school event. They have every right to ask you not to post them. It is not just adopted/in care children. There are dc at my children's school who have parents who work in sensitive areas where tjey may become a target. There may be various valid reasons for them to do so.

If you were in a public place then you are free to do as you wish. My Mum thinks I am awfukl for putting photos of dd on th einternet, however there is a phoot of her on the internet taken by someone at HMV in Oxford Street at a CD signing. Nothing I c an do about it even if I wanted to.

Jeez, 5 pages.

Look its simple in my opinion. If it were my child and I had reason to fear that other people taking photos may cause a problem (like the whole adoption/care thing so commonly touted), then I would not let my child go and be in a bloody school nativity play where 300 other parents/grandparents will be armed with cameras, video recorders and god only knows what else. If my worries was indeed clear & present, would I trust that such a ban would be enough? Or would I instead be fearful of a parent sneaking a snap with a cameraphone or whatever?

On what planet would it be reasonable for the tail to wag the dog and ban every other parent from enjoying taking photos and showing their friends just because of my own personal family circumstance?

If my child was allergic to nuts, would I insist that my child ate their own pre-prepared food? Or would I go to school and demand every child eat meals without nuts in?

The people dreaming up situations are being stupid. We can all dream up examples where someone MIGHT be in danger. Christ, I could cross the road tomorrow. IF I had my eyes shut, IF a driver was driving along also with his eyes shut then MAYBE I'll get run over.

The tail should not wag the dog and we all need to use some bloody common sense.

YABU The school asked you not to, so you should not have done.

Post pictures of your own child on the internet if you please, but not other people's unless you have their permission. It's very simple . I would be cross if I found people had put photos of my children on FB etc without my say so.

Niceguy2 you speaketh much sense. If the photo is only of the op's child I think she is entitled to do what she likes. The school do not own the intellectual rights. Also this just panders to the ""ban everything brigade. Thank god ds's head teacher took a pragmatic view and let parents photo all events. The only rule was not to obscure other's view. As for putting photos of other people on FB I would always ask permission as you are publishing them. On another note entirely do all schools have a CP officer I always thought they wer attached to the Police can someone enlighten me?