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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child Protection over Friends Only Facebook Pics

374 replies

HarrietSchulenberg · 11/12/2010 02:07

At the nursery Christmas play parents were asked not to put photos on the internet in order to respect the privacy of other parents and children. I take internet security VERY seriously due to my paid work and that of my H, which requires absolute confidentiality. I am also a School Governor.

I put some pictures of my son on Facebook. My photos and profile are accessible only to my Friends, which comprise of a very small group of personal friends and family. The photos did not contain any reference to the school, the children (other than my son's first name), year group or other identifiable information. I never tag photos.

I received a phone call from the Child Protection officer from the School today. My photos had come to their attention and I was formally reminded of the need for internet security.

Through a process of elimination of my Facebook Friends (wasn't hard) I have worked out who is responsible. I am very hurt and surprised that this person has put me in this position, seeing as her own internet security is, at best, lax.

Have I been very stupid, or AIBU to think that I have not breached any child protection measures? I could just have well have printed the pics and shown them round at the school gates.

OP posts:
Feenie · 11/12/2010 13:37

"I have not disregarded anyone's safety and I did not contravene the Data Protection Act.

But you have contravened the school's internet safety policy - a policy which, as a governor, you agreed.

What's the point in being a governor if you are going to flout the rules yourself? I think you should resign, actually.

LookToWindward · 11/12/2010 13:54

"Rules for newspapers publishing photos, they have to have permission from every parent of a child in the photo."

Oh no they don't...

overmydeadbody · 11/12/2010 14:05

This is ridiculous. Really it is.

Yes the OP went against what the nursery asked her to do, but the nursery where being a bit precious.

I work in a school, and we take our kids out a lot, and people take photos of them, but there is nothing we can do and according to our head we don't need to stop them. Because they don't know the names of the kids.

And we have some children who we know we cannot take photos of and publish, or put on our website, or allow in photos the newspapers take, due to child protection issues, but if some tourist takes a photo of the whole class walking along the street, that is ok

overmydeadbody · 11/12/2010 14:09

I don't really get the obsession over photos really, so what if someone else gets hold of them? How much harm can they actually od and what is the likelihood?

Caboodle · 11/12/2010 14:10

So, as I understand it, there were other children in the photos, and you were asked not to, yet you did. YABVU. Remove them from FB and apologise to the Head. Also, as a governor you have a responsibility to respect the wishes of the school and other parents, regardless of your own opinions. What if I, as a teacher, thought the rules / request didn't apply to me - would you be happy with that?

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 11/12/2010 14:13

you ignored the explicit request of the school.

Yabu

Myleetlepony · 11/12/2010 14:58

Maybe we need to wait for op to come back and clarify whether or not there were other children in the photos. If there were then I think she's been pretty stupid, but if the photos only showed her son, then I can't see a problem.

loopylou6 · 11/12/2010 15:04

Yes she has said there where other children in the pictures. I would be a bit pissed off if someone posted pictures of my children online without my say so.

MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 11/12/2010 15:07

I know of an incident where class photos were put on facebook despite the school stressing that they must not be. A woman who DC was in the photos had been placed in our town by a refuge after escaping her violent husband. Its a small world and a member of the husbands family saw the photo and between them they were able to trace the school and then locate the woman and her dc. This poor woman and her children had to move again to escape him after months of getting the children settled in a new home and school.

OP you are being so unreasonable its not true. You should not be a school govenoor if you are this naive and stupid!!!

dietcokesholidaysarecoming · 11/12/2010 15:13

YABVVVVVU

ascalu · 11/12/2010 15:15

Does the school have a website and are there pictures of children on it? If so then their rules are hypocritical.
I would however still apologise for disregarding the rules. You could easily have edited the photos to just show your child.

RunawayChristmasTree · 11/12/2010 15:23

Yanbu to put photos of your own child on face book whatever the school says, you are however being unreasonable to put photos containing other peoples children on face book I would not be happy about this

maryz · 11/12/2010 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JSCandC · 11/12/2010 15:38

yabvu to post other people children onto facebook even if you never named the school or anything,

I know I would be highly pissed off if a parent (a GOVERNOR especially) put pics of my child onto facebook, even if only her friends and family could see them,

luckily your friend told the Child Protection officer from the School as you were told not to put pictures of the children onto the internet but you took it into your own hands to do it,

maryz · 11/12/2010 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Summerbird73 · 11/12/2010 16:07

so you trust all of your FB friends (er except the one who 'told' on you) Hmm

YABVU - even if none of the children are under child protection you were still flouting the rules

again YABVU

CheekyLittleStocking · 11/12/2010 18:22

I see OP hasnt being back!

Lilka · 11/12/2010 18:39

YABU

I don't want my childrens photos posted on facebook by others! It would be a disaster if one in particular was recognised, i don't want to think what could happen - but even with the other two, they are recognisable. I think total idiots underestimate the consequences of certain childrens photos going online.

The school set the rules, you get in shit if you don't follow them - simple

Added to that, i believe there have been instances where school photos or videos taken within school have been manipulated into pornagraphic images by paedophiles who've got hold of them - pretty easy to do if you have the editing software, and i wouldn't like to be facing the parent if i was partly responsible by having posted the photo in the first place!

pigletmania · 11/12/2010 18:58

YANBU if the photos just contained your child and nobody elses, but if they contained others than YABU.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 11/12/2010 19:14

It does seem a bit over the top and silly for the CP officer to call you.

But honestly, if my DS's photo was put on facebook I would be really peed off. It would make me really anixious incase his birth mother tracked him down.

I know it sounds far fetched but if anyone is wearing a uniform or there are any other clues (that you may not notice) kids can be and have been tracked down in this way.

But I dont get get all het up incase a random peado gets his rocks off over a picture of my kids. Its not a nice thought but they can do that by watching them out the window or on the bus.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 11/12/2010 19:14

Wow. You are so BVVVU. You may know your FB friends, but I don't, and I would be mad as hell if you posted pics of my children on your FB page.

Doesn't take much effort to crop them or blur them out, does it?

Complete lack of respect.

ragged · 11/12/2010 19:32

I'll be your token YABU, OP.
It wouldn't bother me in the least if they were my DC on your FB pages.
And I wouldn't even care if they were images shared with the whole world -- it's not like pedophiles and other psychos have a shortage of children's pictures on the Internet to look at. Confused
I feel uncomfortable with the argument that we now should own our images in all places and can demand permission for every reproduction of that image. And that every picture of a child necessarily has to raise child protection issues.
This says very unpleasant and damning things about the parnaoid untrusting control-freakery age we live in :(.

cakewench · 11/12/2010 19:44

YANBU. Mostly for the reasons ragged gave.

That having been said, I take special care to get a few pics of DS without other children, and those are the pics I put on FB. I did have one with the other children from our playgroup nativity, but that was because the other children all happened to have their backs turned to the camera.

ragged · 11/12/2010 19:46

oops, I wrote YABU up there when I met YANBU -- DUUHHHHH.

Oh thanks for the support Cakewrench, I'm sure we'll get drowned out soon, though Xmas Wink. OP has probably given up and scarpered, I know that I would have.

captainhook · 11/12/2010 19:56

My DS is adopted and I really would not want his photo on the internet. In our case, it's more a matter of my peace of mind as his birth family are not dangerous. However we are aware of adopted kids whose birth family are determined to trace them and likely to harm them or adoptive parents if they manage it. I do email photos of DS to trusted friends. I don't post any photos on Facebook or refer to him by name. It's a pain but it's what I think is necessary for his safety and well being.

Emailing a photo to friends is a bit different because it's going to one individual - although I think it would be sensible to ask that friend not to re-post it.