What would you say to this 'friend'?

[MsNameChange]

I have name changed.
Have a 'friend' who I fell out with in the summer.To cut a long story short I was 2 weeks away from having ds2 and had a 2 yr old.I went to visit her and she thought it was 'funny' after a stressful tube journey not to tell me her new address.So she wanted me to wait at a tube station and in her own time she would tell me her address as I was visiting her and her new baby(I had lovely gifts etc).
I waited with a bored 2 year old and she never got back to me so I went straight home and took him to the park.She sent her a message saying how rude she was to make a heavily pregnant person wait for her etc.
She then gave me weeks of abuse-swearing/nasty nasty things that I won't repeat(because I dared tell her she was rude).
Since then I have had ds2 and she told me she was missing me and sorry for how things went etc.
I had had a large glass of wine and stupid soft me responded.Although I have kept her at 'arms length'.My OH was LIVID that I got back in touch with her.
I decided to give her another chance.So she came round my house and her ds1 was calling me and me ds1 awful names and hit my ds1 in the face(she pretended it didn't happen).
He also jumped on my furniture etc.
I have been around hers and it was awful.
Anyway the other day she told me that I am always 'too busy' for her so(walkover)me asked her around for lunch.
Last night OH went to the shops to buy lovely food.Today she didn't bother to turn up.No text.Nothing.
I know nothings wrong as she has been on facebook all day.
Anyway what my point is is I feel I should tell her she's rude but she made the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy hell.All day she would send me abuse and I even threatened to report her to the police(I didn't).
People at my old job warned me of her and I never listened.
It makes me feel sick as we live so close and therefor go to the same shops and when I fell out with her in the summer she would shout abuse in the street infront of her dc and mine and I just wanted to die.
She reported my hairdresser to the SS because she used her binoculars to see that she had let her dc sleep for 2 hours in a car seat rather than a cot.(After a long car journey).
That's the kind of person she is.Oh and I'm awful because my child doesn't wear Ralph Lauren clothes.
I must me crazy to let her in my life and I think I must be unreasonable for doing so.

*I mean I sent her a message-writing quickly!

I wouldn't say anything, she sounds like a nutjob. Just don't see her anymore - delete her number, delete her from FB etc.

I would not say anything to her and the next time the stupid woman shouted abuse at me I would be on the phone to the police!!!

Why are you even asking? Delete from FB, block on your mobile and say nothing. She sounds horrible and an utter loon.

I would say nothing to her.
Ever again.

It's a no brainer really, surely?

Sorry but yes you are crazy to let her into your life. She sound barking. Life's too short to have to deal with people like that.

Errr - and she is your friend because...?

cut her off she sounds like nothing but trouble, and a right bitch

Kick to the kerb! How hilarious, not giving you her address when you were heavily pregnant. That, alone, would do it for me, let alone any of the other stuff.

Leave it, she's not a friend. She doesn't behave like one. Don't say anything, your DH is right in principle, although being "livid" doesn't help.

Go to a toddler group or baby gym or something and make some new, nice friends. Spend the time with existing friends and family that actually care about you.

Some people use others to validate them. To make themselves feel better in comparison or just to relieve boredom.

Ignore her behaviour if she shouts in the street. If I witness behaviour like that I always think the person doing the yelling is a loon and never even think about the person being yelled at, other than to feel sorry for them.

Be strong and move on.

She does the 'sob story'.I thought she was lovely.I'm obviously a rubbish judge of character!(Understatement).
I hate confrontations.DH told me to ignore her and I've tried that.She ends up coming to my house and shouting trough the letter box 'I know you're in because I can see your pushchair'.
I don't think she has friends and shes very lonely.I wish she would just bugger off.

She sounds a bit unhinged unusual. I would steer clear and if she shouts through your letterbox again, report her for harassment.

Thankyou everyone.I still have hundreds of messages on my phone and I wanted to delete them as a clean slate but I might need to keep them.
I will take everything you've said on board.
I was just wondering if any mns would send her a message explaining lots of home truths or would I be wasting my time?I think I know the answer to that.She just causes me stress and worry and makes me feel ill.
I'm going to find out how to block her from my mobile.
Thanks again everyone

after she invited you over and did not give you the address, that should have been it

anyone who thinks it's ok to shout through the letter box and demand ot be let in is not someone, on the whole, you;d want to be friends with

any ishooos that could be making her act strangely , or is she just a thoughtless person?

I really don't know whether I would bother explaining to her, she will either try to soft-soap you or give you a load of abuse. Maybe eventually she'll get the message if you just ignore her. Mind you, toxic friends tend to have thick skin. I've just had a FB friends request from someone I stopped speaking to 9 years ago for bad behaviour.

Delete her!

Get rid of all traces of her, don't speak to her at all and if she won't leave you alone report her to the police. Don't give her any ammunition to use against you (ie don't tell her any home truths, just act cool and aloof and with dignity)

Lulumaam-when I first met her we worked in the same job and when everyone went to get their tube home they would run away from her and ask me why I was so soft.I didn't like the nastiness.I would sit next to her and she would talk about herself during the whole journey.When I got my cot for ds1 she would ask me why on earth hadn't I got the best of best for my baby(she got a £1000 cot).
She asks me why my children don't wear designer clothes.She writes on facebook how she is 'Wonder woman' and 'Super Mummy'etc.
I went to see a show with DH a year ago and hired a sitter.She said 'but o2 don't allow children surely?'
I told her they were being cared for and she said she couldn't believe that I could go out and leave my babies.
She is a nightmare.Why was I so soft?I am an IDIOT.

I concur, delete and avoid. A weirdo.

you've been v patient but now is the time to cut her oout of your life

i am amazed she has any friends left

sounds insecure, competitive, nasty and thoughtless, not any qualities that are making her a nice friend

block her off facebook. delete her number and do not answer the door to her

i bet she has lost lots of other friends too

Delete, Avoid, call the police if she continues.

She is no friend. Let your OH deal with her if she comes round.

Well personally I would hit her over the head with a walking stick. I think that should get her out of your life she sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Gosh what a loon.
You're missing nothing if you let her go.

Don't beat yourself up about being soft.
You gave her a chance rather than sheep-like follow everyone else's opinion of her.
that's a pretty good quality to have. You've been patient and tolerant, also good qualities, so let her go and know you've you've behaved calmly and with dignity throughout all this.

Thankyou for your helpful messages.