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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain abut this childminder?

72 replies

ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 13:43

In my local playgroup there is a small bunchof childminders there... of them. All are childminders of little toddlers and these women stick like glue to one another...never mix in or chat...I did try to chat to one or two of them a few tmes and was met with cold one word replies.

They sit down on the sofas for the whole 2 hour session and are very loud and bitchy...scraming with laughter and whispering...they leave tiny crawlers and staggery toddlers to their own devices

One baby with them is around 11 months...he can walk well...he wanders off into the other room which is meant for ride-on toys and older kids... and invariably gets knocked over by bigger kids and one of the Mums always picks him up and carries him back to the coven group of childminders who sit their scoffing biscuits which they send their older charges to fetch.

I am thinking of complaining...they made me really uncomfortable yesterday...what with their bitchy whispering and the neglect of the kids...none of them have any kidsof their own with them...theirsare all in school I assume.

Thing is...this is a church group...so its all voluntary...if I knew the name o that baby's Mum I would bloody tell her how her son is treated. eft to cry with no comfort after another kid pushed him over...his minder never plays with him once...this is every week. I am pissed off...that somene is paying her to do this.

OP posts:
Kiwi92 · 10/12/2010 13:59

if you have a sign in book, which most i have been to does, see what her name is an you may have to report to ofsted

BoysAreLikeDogs · 10/12/2010 14:05

How unpleasant and a really rotten example of how unprofessional CMs can sometimes be

Reputation is ALL and they may well come a cropper as parents start to talk about them unfavourably and new work dries up

Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:05

Do you think Ofsted is the thing then? I was just thinking of saying something to the leader...who probably knows the Mum...as they mostly all go to the villae school...mind you...there are about 4 schools within a 3 mile radius..so maybe not.

Its the way she speaks to her charge as well...all of her gang are a bit loud and crass but that isn't a way of measuring their skills at CM. But she talks down to her charge...he was trying to reach a biscuit from a communal plate and she was laughing at him...and saying "Oh well...life's tough..you're too short to reach!" and I was like Hmm wondering if I should get him one...

the poor little thing was frustrated...but she just sat there...parked...and never moved the biscuits away (which is what I would have done if he were not allowed one) and she never got him one...it was like torture!

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 10/12/2010 14:08

I would certainly speak to the leader in the first instance

Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:09

Come to think of it...I would not even have known she were a childminder had I not naievly attempted to chat with her one week.

I asked her how old her son was and she was reluctant to tell me she was nothis mother but his minder....robaly because she doesn't want people judging her level of care.

I already feel better about it...it has bugged me...I will check on the list aginst the little ones name....and see her name..

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TattytinsellooksDevine · 10/12/2010 14:12

I'm pretty sure Ofsted might need a bit more to get involved, though I might be wrong. Mothers can often clash in these type of settings depending on whether they like to helicopter round their children or let them explore and learn independently, or something in the middle. Now, it might well be that they are not supervising closely enough, however, to Ofsted it might just sound like you are a helicopter parent who dissaproves of them not being. If they were parents not childminders, its hardly something you would report to SS.

If you said everything you said to us to them, it would sound a little like you just dont approve of cliquiness and that that is what has motivated your complaint when in fact no child has been injured or is at risk.

If you witness a child get injured, I think it might be taken more seriously, not that I'm necessarly saying you should wait until they get injured!

I think it would be better to speak to the group leader and get her to remind everyone that a certain level of supervision is required. It does seem a little OTT at this point ot report them to Ofsted. On what you have said, anyway.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 10/12/2010 14:13

Not in bedford are you? I knew a couple of childminders like this when I was one. I hasten to add I knew far, far more who were not in the least like this and were brilliant.

I think it is one thing to have an incident like this if you have several small ones at a playgroup with seperate rooms. I Used to struggle to supervise a baby a very very climby toddler and an older toddler in a multi room playgroup and in the end I had to stop going. but to carry on like this week after week is a bit poor. Also, it's fine to let the kids get on with it and play, but to have little or no positive interaction at all with them while there is a bit sad.

TattytinsellooksDevine · 10/12/2010 14:15

Seriously I think taking her name off a list (is that even legal?) in order to report her sounds fairly nutty and reactional for what you have described.

Why not have a word with her yourself? Just say, excuse me, but are they your charges, becuase they have wandered off to the rideon area and might get knocked over? Hmm

Surely that's what you'd do with another parent? Why threaten their livelihood over a difference of supervision standards?

Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:19

The woman has one baby in her care gerladine...one...her mates each have one or two but theirs are older, around 3.

I don't think there's enough for Ofsted either really...I just KNOW that if this were my son, beig ignored..then I would want to know. It's a shame..I will defo speak t the leader...so she can remind people to watch out for their kids.

The little one fell backwrds when another child shoove him yesterday..bumped his head..and I was the only one who saw.

I delivered him to his witch childminder and said he hasbumped his head...(he was screaming) and she just carried on talking and sat him on he mat at her feet.

WHile I do not think the bump was a bad one...SHE did not know that and should have checked him over.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:20

Tatty...she's like a female version of Arnold Scwarznegger and is unfriendly and agressive...I won't say anything to her directly.

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Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:22

The fact is...she is a big lazy cow who sits on her arse for two hours while the rest of us watch her mindee...I am sick of it.

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TattytinsellooksDevine · 10/12/2010 14:22

See, if she was agressive towards you, then at least you'd have something on her! Grin

EyeOfNewtToeOfFrog · 10/12/2010 14:23

What an unprofessional attitude! I think you're right to be worried and wanting to do something about it.

Have a chat with the group leader first - but do bear in mind reporting to Ofsted if you see any children in clear danger. Better still, get a couple of other mums to complain to Ofsted too.

Just tread carefully with Ofsted - you have the option of remaining anonymous when you complain but the CM might guess who it was from the context. And if you can see her name on the register, she will be able to see yours!

I once had to complain to Ofsted when my DD1's childminder turned out to be less than ideal (shouting at her in the park - other parents reported to me) and she left my DD1 alone with a disabled 18-year-old when I was running 10min late one evening (I had phoned and left a message) to take her cat to the vet's!

Ofsted concluded there was no evidence as it was my word against hers, so it didn't go on the CM's record as a complaint....

bananaking · 10/12/2010 14:29

God this sounds exactly like the toddler group I go to, everything from the separate room with the ride ons, it being a church group and the lazy c'ms.

Is doesn't run on a Thursday AM in a place beginning with L does it? PM me if it does as there is one c/m who goes there who my friend and I have come close to reporting too.

Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:41

Lol banana...no...it's not in a place begining with L.

Nor does it run on a Thursday...thank goodness! I was wondering if the cm in question used MN...tbh I hope she does...and sees that there are people on to her!

OP posts:
bananaking · 10/12/2010 14:42

It doesn't run on a Thursday?

"I am thinking of complaining...they made me really uncomfortable yesterday..."

Posted today.

Confused
Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:45

Yes banana...I was galvanised into posting about it having discussed it with my sister.

Not all posts are about events which occur on the same day!

Confused
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SantasENormaSnob · 10/12/2010 14:45

Is it a place in the nw?

I would really want to know if it were my ds.

Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:46

If I said yesterday...then that's just Mummy Mindedness...it's not on a thursday.

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Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:46

Santa...is IS in the NW

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Quenelle · 10/12/2010 14:49

She certainly sounds very unpleasant. If it were my DS's CM I'd like to think that someone who questioned her care would stick up for him. I think speak to the leader, they tend to know most of the mums and CMs.

SantasENormaSnob · 10/12/2010 14:49

Does it begin with b?

Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:50

No Santa.

God I feel silly...I can't say though...it's nt fair to the other CMs there who may do a decent job.

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Original poster
ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 14:52

Quenelle I am definately speaking to the leader...she's a bit wet though iykwim...a bit drippy. So not really sure. Do Church playgroups get checked by Ofsted?

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SantasENormaSnob · 10/12/2010 14:54

Thank fuck.

You do need to do something tbh, not at all fair on the mindees.

If you think the leader won't do anything then I would voice concerns to ofsted.