To complain abut this childminder?

[ShanahansRevenge]

In my local playgroup there is a small bunchof childminders there... of them. All are childminders of little toddlers and these women stick like glue to one another...never mix in or chat...I did try to chat to one or two of them a few tmes and was met with cold one word replies.

They sit down on the sofas for the whole 2 hour session and are very loud and bitchy...scraming with laughter and whispering...they leave tiny crawlers and staggery toddlers to their own devices

One baby with them is around 11 months...he can walk well...he wanders off into the other room which is meant for ride-on toys and older kids... and invariably gets knocked over by bigger kids and one of the Mums always picks him up and carries him back to the coven group of childminders who sit their scoffing biscuits which they send their older charges to fetch.

I am thinking of complaining...they made me really uncomfortable yesterday...what with their bitchy whispering and the neglect of the kids...none of them have any kidsof their own with them...theirsare all in school I assume.

Thing is...this is a church group...so its all voluntary...if I knew the name o that baby's Mum I would bloody tell her how her son is treated. eft to cry with no comfort after another kid pushed him over...his minder never plays with him once...this is every week. I am pissed off...that somene is paying her to do this.

Oh but Banana...I never said anything about her weight. I am not interacting with you anymore...your odd comments are clogging my thread. So say what you want...I wont bite again.

CARGIRL

No..I also think Ofsted would be a bit much too...I am however going to see if I can make some careful enquiries and see if anyone else knows the little boys Mum.

why on earth do you think the OP made this up??

DD was bollocked by a CM when she was 2 yrs old at a toddler group, by a CM who was sat down eating biscuits, drinking coffee and ignoring her charges, until DD pottered over and tried to look at/touch the toys they were playing with.

It does happen

I did a bit of childminding when my 3 boys started school and before I had my DD.

If you have witnessed a CM not caring for a child as she ought to, then it's worth contacting the LA and describing the CM and age of child etc. They ought to be able to identify her and you could ask them to discretely look into things. It may mean that they are more alert to potential problems when they next do an inspection of that CMs setting, particularly if this is not the first time they have been contacted.

CMs also often belong to the NCMA. They may also be able to give you some advice on what to do.

Be careful though, because it could come across as a difference in parenting styles, rather than neglectful CM. She could argue that she was discretely monitoring the child after his bump on the head for example and it would be hard for you to prove otherwise because she may well have been. You can only really report actions, rather than a feeling of unease, even though your instints may be right.

Although from my pov, when I was a CM, the children in my care were never out of my sight and if my children were being looked after by a CM I would be most unhappy if she behaved as you have described.

As someone on the team helping at the toddler group we started changing what and how we did to force all the mums and carers to be more involved with their dc

Wasn't doubting what you saw, SR, or your judgement of the circs. It's v concerning & upsetting. My suggestion re taking advice from the MN CMs is ime they have a lot of expertise & may have come across this sort if concern before & have advice about how to track the CM down or a means of contacting the parent or a route for complaint e.g the LA or CM body.

I think the Arnie comment was in response to talk to her directly comments

CarGirl - that's great, but doesn't necessarily affect what happens outside of the toddler group. Also, it can occasionally come across as a bit patronising - parenting styles do differ as I'm sure you know.

I don't know if this is relevant, especially as I feel very strongly that mums/carers should spend plenty of time interacting with their children, but I have stopped going to my local SureStart group mostly because I got sick of them telling me how to interact/play with my DS (we live in a very 'deprived' area). They thought I needed training in how to play with him but actually I play with him loads - I am a trained playworker and thought he probably needed a break from me so that he could play with other children his age while I drank coffee in the corner (available if he wanted me..)

OP, I don't mean to hijack... there are many ways to drink coffee in the corner and I am not certainly not saying it is always okay...

Do what you think best!

Thanks fo all the great advice...I think the thing is that is WOULD be seen as a difference in parenting techniques...it's not like she was abusing him physically..but you kind of had to be there to hear the sneer in her voice when she laughed at him...Karma...you are right, she COULD say Oh but I was monitoring him" and she COULD have been.

I wish I knew his Mother...because I don't know ONE parent who wold not want to know hat I saw.

T those who thought I was being "fattist" I never once said the woman was fat...she is very large...tall, wide and BIG...if she was merely fat I would not be afraid of her...she is BIG and what around here they call "Handy looking" like if little ol me went skipping up to critisize her she might just lamp me one.

I will go next week and keep my ears and eyes open.

greenbananas it wasn't done to be patronising it was a case of change it make carers responsible for the dc they brought or close the toddler group. I am one of those who doesn't every helicopter parent but when I'm chatting I always try and watch my dc so they don't either flatten another child or get flattened or scoff an entire plate of bisciuts and I did that with 3 dc in 3 years - we're talking basics here.

Greenbananas...it's ok! I don't like those surestart places either and for the same reasons!

I sit with coffee too! But always within sight of DD who is usually driving a car round or playing with the train set...

I might eveN look for a new group to be honest. Perhas the library group whle we sttill HAVE one!

Ofsted will not get involved with this, you need to track down the mother and tell her how her child is being treated.
Trust me my child was physically abused and ofsted did nothing, no interest what so ever.

Our coven of cms used to talk the entire way through singing time (all of 5 minutes) every week - I attended that play group for a total of 10 years - had my eldest then a big gap and then the next 3.

They used to sit with their backs to most of the room and not once watch what their mindees were doing!

One of the things we did was remove some of the chairs so they had face outwards to where the children played.

They were/are an odd trio.

Thanks Mamtomany I think that's what I will do.

{Dons trench coat and trilby)

funnily enough CarGirl the leaders have recently moved the layout around...I suspect it is in an ffort to fix this problem.

All it's done though is to drive the CMs to take up the sofa area which is meant for Mums with babies in arms...al the baby toys are there along with clean playmats to lay them on...these harridans sit there all the time.

I am a CM and I hate it when my so called colleagues bring us into disrepute. I love my mindees and treat them probably better than I did my own DD. How can they possibly hope to get any recommendations for work when they behave like this in public?

I think your Local Authority would probably be more interested in Ofsted, but certainly report any concerns to their parents if you are able. I would want to know if it was my own DD.

Cargirl, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend you - you're right, there are some basiscs that obviously need addressing.

It sounds like you were dealing very sensibly with a specific group of CMs. Good for you - again, sorry if I came across a bit wrong.

HSMM...women like the one I have seen don't bring you or other CM into disrepute...they just make me and others very angry...I wouldn't tar all CM with the same brush...she's a rotter...doesn't mean the one next to her is though.

Thank you ShanahansRevenge

I take the care of my mindees very seriously and I don't like anyone (minders, nannies, aupairs, parents, whoever) treating children badly.

My CM is far more of a helicopter carer than me. I am the sort to sit on my fat arse and ignore my DC at a toddler group, as, forgive me, but is that not the the whole point?

When I used to take my dd to mum and baby groups I did not helicopter at all, I would have looked a bit weird, just let her in full view of myself, play independently with other children, after all she is there to build her social skills and independence, dd has social communication difficulties, I cannot be there all the time to speak for her, she has to develop those skills.

However these CMs sound totally unprofessional, its one thing for a mum to do that with her child, but she is being paid to provide a certain standard of care. I would inform Ofstead.

No worries green I just didn't want to be accused of endorsing full interactive hands on stifling parenting when I am a true natterer, coffee drinker type Mum but one who always has one eye on their dc 95% of the time and has been known to sprint the hall in 3 seconds flat when needs must

Years ago I was a CM, and CM's like this make me really .

Behaving in such a way is one thing when it's your own child, but as a professional caring for a child a parent has entrusted to you, and is paying you to care for, this is out of order.

Not all childminders are like this, of course!