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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at this teacher's actions?

20 replies

kid · 07/12/2010 23:40

I am certain I have every right to be annoyed, but it would be interesting to hear what others think and what I should do now.

DD is 11 and has a cold sore. She went to school and was told by her teacher to sit at the back of the room on a table by herself so none of the other children caught it.

I know DD has not made this up, she asked me if someone could catch it by sitting next to her. I told her they couldn't and asked her why and she told me what had happened at school.

I am so angry about it, how dare she! My first reaction was to write the teacher a letter (I couldn't go in to see her) but then I changed my mind and decided to bypass the teacher and go straight to the head of year.

WWYD?

OP posts:
SparkleSoiree · 07/12/2010 23:42

I would be going to the teacher and asking her what the actual situation is and if it is the same asking her to explain her thinking behind segregating your daughter from the rest of the class.

SparkleSoiree · 07/12/2010 23:42

if it is the same as your DD's version of events I meant to add.

Original poster
kid · 07/12/2010 23:53

DD isn't a good liar at all, she can't even get a message straight so certainly can't spin a story like this.

I will give the teacher the opportunity to explain her version to me though.
I emailed the head of year this morning explaining what had happened and that I am not pleased with the situation. I have given my phone number and offered to speak to her or the class teacher about it.
So far, I've had no response, but I will be expecting some sort of response in the very near future.

I don't think DD has the same teacher until next Monday by which time I expect the cold sore to be gone.
But, she suffers from them from time to time so am I to expect her to get this treatment each time from that teacher? Perhaps the teacher would prefer me to keep DD at home away from her, or she could give DD a table and chair to sit on outside the classroom?

I am not as angry now as I was this morning!

OP posts:
dracschick · 07/12/2010 23:55

That teacher is a loon.

curlymama · 07/12/2010 23:55

I would do the research so you can quote the DoH advice word for word, then write a formal complaint, stating how they have humiliated your child and exculuded her from being part of the class for a condition that she can't help.

MerrilyDefective · 08/12/2010 00:00

Did the teacher think they were going to be snogging?Shock
Utter shite.
batter speak to the teacher and find out the reasoning and then make a fuss if it's true.

SparkleSoiree · 08/12/2010 00:02

It is a ridiculous situation. I would be Hmm if I heard a teacher in our school doing that. If your DD is considered contagious to the point she has to be moved then as her parent surely they should be ringing you to collect her, not isolate her?

Original poster
kid · 08/12/2010 00:46

Today was the 2nd day of attending school with the lergies cold sore. None of the other teachers had a problem with it, just the science teacher.

I'll do the research in the morning so I am confident in my response to them.
If it was that contagious, dd would not have been sent to school. She had impetigo years ago and I did not send her in then as I know it's highly contagious. If I kept her home each time she had a cold sore, i'd have the attendance officer on my case.

I knew I wasn't being unreasonable but it's good to
hear others are equally shocked and it's not just me creating a fuss over my pfb.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 08/12/2010 01:01

I would be very cross too - I hope you get the teacher put straight.

I don't know if you have seen them or not, but you can get these little sticker things that go on them, it helps them heal and stops them being so noticeable, my god daughter uses them and they are great! Much better than zovirax etc.

Tanith · 08/12/2010 01:16

I'm wondering if there might have been another child in the class who had severe eczema or an immunity problem. It might help to explain the teacher's attitude. I think the cold sore virus can be quite serious in those circumstances.
Of course, only the teacher can say why she felt it necessary to treat your child like this.

Original poster
kid · 08/12/2010 06:38

chippinin we have those patches (compede) but the cold sore is actually on her lip so it's not possible to apply it on the occassion.
We do keep a stock of them just incase as I know they hide and protect the cold sore.

I do hope it's starting to go down now and not spreading further. I'll find out when I wake her up in half an hour!

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/12/2010 09:15

Blimey, that seems an enormous over reaction. I am super vigilant about cold sores, DD knows she isn't to share her chapstick with anyone else, but the teacher is bonkers.

RatherBeOnTheMulledWine · 08/12/2010 09:25

Health authority guidance on cold sores states there is no need for exclusion from school, and that many children and adults have the virus ( and secrete it ) but never show any symptoms, so it is something active in the community at all times.

This was an ill informed and dim reaction from the teacher. Do you think she thought it was impetigo? That does have exclusion times from school, but even so, you would have thought she might have got your DD to the school nurse to have a look, and be a lot more kind and subtle.

Just dim I reckon. Deffo NBU

tomhardyismydh · 08/12/2010 09:48

the teacher is ill informed.

most people carry the cold sore virus and so if you have the virus in your body you cant catch a cold sore from a cold sore even if you kiss. only if you do not carry the cold sore virus can you catch it from a cold sore.

it lays dormant on the skin and so becomes active for may reasons and so not through infection (unless you are catching it for the first time) and never reinfection.

Original poster
kid · 08/12/2010 19:57

the head of year hasn't responded to my email yet, I have a feeling that she isn't going to either.

OP posts:
onceamai · 08/12/2010 20:10

You should ask if the teacher thought the cold sore would become less contagious when the children left the class and were milling about in the corridors. Sounds like bullying to me - something that make one feel alienated from the rest of the group.

Personally, I wouldn't be prepared to discuss this with the teacher concerned I would deal directly with the Head of Year. I would also keep a record of e-mails requesting a conversation and put a deadline in such as: If I don't hear from you by noon on Friday I shall be contacting the headteacher in order to make a mutually convenient appointment to discuss this matter further. I shall be extremely concerned if the matter is not resolved by the time my child is next taught by the teacher concerned.

Original poster
kid · 08/12/2010 20:35

Do you think I should email the head of year again?
In my first email, I said something along the lines of 'I'd appreciate it if you speak to the teacher about this matter'

I also gave my mobile number incase either of them wanted to speak to me about it.

I don't want to be a nuisance but I want them to know I feel this treatment was unacceptable and I am not going to sit back and let them humilate my daughter.
The coldsore does not look like its about to disappear, but its not spreading so thats good. I still expect it to be gone by Monday which is when she next has that teacher.

I really don't want to let it drop, but i don't want to make matters worse for my daughter either.

OP posts:
c0rns1lk · 08/12/2010 20:37

yes email againand make it clear that you expect a response
this was a science teacher? Blimey Hmm

PositiveAttitude · 08/12/2010 20:43

I would email again and ask her to acknowledge receipt of the email. At least then you know she has received it and it will prompt her to chase things up for you.

Absolutely barmy reaction, IMO.

Original poster
kid · 09/12/2010 21:08

The hoy phoned me this afternoon. She will speak to teacher about the incident and then get back to me.

I'm pleased she phoned, I don't even
mind what the outcome is, I just want the teacher to know it's been reported tbh.

OP posts:
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