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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not think a coat is an acceptable Christmas present

58 replies

JarethTheGoblinKing · 07/12/2010 23:38

I've bought DP a few things for Christmas. He's bought be a coat (I have it already)

AIBU to feel a bit bloody miffed that he gets nice things that he wants for a present, while I get a thing that I need

I do like it, it's a lovely coat.. but hmmm... I'd quite like some perfume or something. It's not about not having money for things, I wonder if DP just took an easy route to presents.

(not posting this in relationships as I don't want the second post to read 'he's a controlling bastard and you should leave him')

Wink
OP posts:
Joolyjoolyjoo · 07/12/2010 23:44

I got a coat last year, and was pleasantly surprised, as DH had picked it himself and I was dreading seeing it incase I hated it Blush But I was happy!

My DH is very practically minded, so I usually get new trainers or gym gear. have hinted I would prefer jewellery this year- will probably get a bejewelled tracksuit!! Be grateful it's a coat, and not (as my dad once gave to my mum and nearly had it rattled off the back of his head!) a kenwood chef!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 07/12/2010 23:45

PS- he is a controlling bastard and you should leave him

maryz · 07/12/2010 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magicmummy1 · 07/12/2010 23:47

I'd be quite happy with a nice new coat tbh, especially if I needed one. Did you tell him that you didn't really want the coat as a present? And have you dropped sufficient hints about perfume etc? If you already have the coat, perhaps he's got something else for you to unwrap on christmas day.

QueeferSantaland · 07/12/2010 23:47

When he asked what you wanted, did you say "a coat" or did you say "mmmm, suprise me with lovely smelly things and shiny trinkets"?

FWIW, I always get what I need for christmas too. I've asked for a butter dish.Xmas Hmm

I have bought DH clothes, but I am a controlling bitch, and he should leave me.[fgin]

Poledra · 07/12/2010 23:47

Can you drop a hint that it would be nice to have something to open on Christmas Day? DH is rubbish at big presents but very good at little presents, so I get chocolate, books, DVDs or suchlike that I wouldn't go and buy for myself.

QueeferSantaland · 07/12/2010 23:48

Xmas Grin I mean.

Freudian slip.

Poledra · 07/12/2010 23:48

PS, pass that fgin over here, Queefer - DH is ill and being a fucking drama queen suffering

GrimmaTheNome · 07/12/2010 23:49

YABU.
Of course its acceptable. It may not be thrilling, but you said its a lovely coat.

QueeferSantaland · 07/12/2010 23:50

Xmas Grin Poledra.
Touch of Manflu?
mmmm, fgin and tonic.

beijingaling · 07/12/2010 23:51

my first birthday with DH he gave me a blender. We had just moved in together...

You're not being unreasonable to be a bit miffed but I find with DH I often have to show him exactly what I want or I end up in the same position as you. I'm a fussy bugger though.

Just tell him outright you want a surprise present from him too if money isnt a problem!

BonniePrinceBilly · 07/12/2010 23:53

Its a bit.....grasping isn't it? Sort of stamping foot and saying I want more?

Dunno, depends on how you do things. Seems to miss the point of giving presents IMO.

SpeedyGonzalez · 07/12/2010 23:53

I'm bemused. He's bought you a lovely coat. You really like it. AND it's something you need. So what's the problem, exactly? Are there rules on what does and doesn't constitute a gift these days?

You sound extremely ungrateful. So yes, YADBVU.

QueeferSantaland · 07/12/2010 23:53

DH went to buy me a kitchenaid for my birthday when we were first together. He mother told him not to under any circumstances.

I'd bloody love a kitchenaid.

I may have been a bit Hmm after 6 months together though.

MerrilyDefective · 07/12/2010 23:53

Friends mum got a dyson one year and was happy as Larry!

booyhohoho · 07/12/2010 23:55

dad got mum a dishwasher one year. that was a looong xmas.

QueeferSantaland · 07/12/2010 23:57

I don't think OP is being grasping. I see her point. I'd feel too frivolous buying myself a whole coat when there are things the DC need. (We don't have much money though.)

Hence I've put a butter dish on my list. We need a new one, but it isn't really a necessity iyswim.

cat64 · 07/12/2010 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

catsinthejinglebelfry · 07/12/2010 23:59

I've got a coat for Xmas. It's lovely, vintage, sheepskin, a tiger print, three quarter sleeves and WARM. I love it even though I had to go to the cash machine to buy it (market stall and DH seems to have forgotten his card). Only prob - have worn it a lot before Xmas so DH is now wondering if he needs to buy summat else.

SpeedyGonzalez · 08/12/2010 00:02

cats - I did the same thing for my birthday last year. The coat gets so many compliments. I love, love, love it.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 08/12/2010 00:02

It's not about being ungrateful, you miseries Grin

I NEEDED a coat. I picked a coat. He suggested that he pay for it as an early Christmas present.

I should have suggested that his coat was an early Christmas present from me, but then he paid for that too.

It's not that I don't love the coat (i do!) but it's an essential purchase. He's getting some hopefully lovely things for Christmas, and I'm getting something I neeeeed.

I dunno, I'm jus whinging. It'd be nice to get something I want rather than something I need for once.. but I suspect that is the cry of many Mum's up and down the country at Christmas/Birthdays

(btw, I did email suggestions a month or so ago. I know he will have bought me a book)

Most of this is written with a smile on my face tbh, like I said, i like the coat, it's just different when you don't have a choice to buy it for yourself and have to get it as a present.... feels a bit rubbish.

OP posts:
BonniePrinceBilly · 08/12/2010 00:02

She's not saying a coat is too much, its just not enough!

BonniePrinceBilly · 08/12/2010 00:03

x-post. Well why are you telling us this and not him? Xmas Confused

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 08/12/2010 00:03

Dp has got me I bike, and I ave been informed I ave to go on it

JarethTheGoblinKing · 08/12/2010 00:04

because he'll feel like shit BPB Grin

I am venting, that's all Grin

OP posts:
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