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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to make the DCs a cooked meal in the evening?

42 replies

undercovasanta · 07/12/2010 20:33

DD has school dinners, and DS has a cooked lunch at nursery. As a result I just give them a 'lunch-type' tea in the evening, not a hot meal.

The sort of thing they have at home in the evening is beans on toast, sandwiches, egg and toast, jacket potato and cheese.

I thought this was fine. I know that school meals aren't huge but DD is only 4 and she doesn't seem particularly hungry for a cooked meal in the evening.

However, it seems that almost all of the mums at school give their kids a cooked meal in the evening even though they have a lunctime cooked meal. Is this the norm? AIBU and not feeding my DCs properly? There were some shocked faces when I mentioned that my kids were having sarnies for tea tonight!

OP posts:
PatFig · 07/12/2010 20:36

Our kiddies do not have a cooked meal every night
sometimes it is cerial or sandwiches

so
YANBU

Hullygully · 07/12/2010 20:38

You should be taken out and shot

ShanahansRevenge · 07/12/2010 20:38

Oh no it's fine! I do it too. My doctor said they need to breakfast like a King, Lunch like a Prince and Dinnner like a Pauper....(slightly odd and old doc)

But it makes sense...my DD does no want a big cooked meal at night. She has huge cooked luches at school, roasts and things with puddings.

She comes home and has something like yogurt or peanut butter sandwich and an apple...then later she will have soup and toast...or cheese on toast...maybe some ice cream and fruit.

DD is a grazer...she eats little and often.

QuintessentialShadows · 07/12/2010 20:39

Lunch (hot or cold)

cooked tea around 4 / 5 pm

sandwiches / cereals with milk or youghurt for evening meal around 7 /8 pm.

seeker · 07/12/2010 20:40

A sandwich with a substantial filling is exactly the same as pasta with a sauce.

Food does not have to be hot to be a good meal!

If you are concerned, add some fruit and a bowl of peas to your menus.

Original poster
undercovasanta · 07/12/2010 20:41

Hully - I thought I might be shot by some of the mums when I mentioned serving toast for tea!

Apparently a full cooked meal is de rigeur!

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 07/12/2010 20:42

This is fine, exactly what I do.

Don't get into discussions that might make you feel that you are letting your dcs down. You could always (truthfully) say that you give your dcs a hot meal in the evening. Sometimes if we are pushed for time/money/sanity then I count beans on toast as a main meal tbh.

winnybella · 07/12/2010 20:43

Jacket potato is not a cooked meal?

whatkatydidathome · 07/12/2010 20:43

Does it matter? As long as the appear heathy and eat a balanced diet. Maybe if your house is cold then something hot (like beans on toast or toasted sandwiches) would be better than cold sandwiches but it seems mad to worry about some idealised concept of a "cooked meal" - bread is cooked, as is ham, so technically a ham sandwich is cooked (in the important sense - ie easier to digest and less likely to be parasite/germ ridden than raw food) but other than that I cannot see why it matters as long as they are well fed.

BikeRunSki · 07/12/2010 20:44

My mum uses that phrase too Shananhan. DS is 2.3 and has always done just that naturally, Big breakfast - 2 bowls of porridge, banana and toast, smaller lunch - maybe a small bowl of pasta and veg. He usually only wants a piece of toast in the evening. I have tried giving him more after nursery, but he's not bothered. On non-nursery days, he very rarely eats at all after about 4pm, despite offering him food. I have stopped trying. He's big enough to ask now.

ShittySnowyDays · 07/12/2010 20:44

Do what you feel up to. I sometimes cannot be bothered with the fuss of cooking something for it to just get wasted so sandwiches/cereals etc is the way to go.

odisco · 07/12/2010 20:45

QuintessentialShadows - I'd never get my children to eat that much! (also they are in bed at 7).

There's nothing wrong with sandwiches and one hot meal a day is more than enough. It's the volume and quality, not whether it is hot or not!

GoldenGreen · 07/12/2010 20:45

Um - I encouraged ds to take school dinners so I could get away with lunch-type meals in the evening as I find it easier [bad mummy emoticon]

I agree that all that matters is a balanced diet so who cares whether it's one or two hot meals a day?

magicmummy1 · 07/12/2010 20:46

I always give dd hot food in the evenings, but some of the things you have mentioned are hot - I regard a jacket potato with cheese and some veg as a cooked meal of sorts. Likewise poached egg on toast with some peas or salad etc. I think it's fine for them to have a light meal in the evening if they've had a proper cooked lunch in school.

One of my fondest memories of growing up is sandwiches for tea on sundays! :)

Original poster
undercovasanta · 07/12/2010 20:46

Seeker - they always have fruit/yog for dessert and a salad item or two with the sandwiches.

My mum was strict with food when we were kids (no snacking, just brekkie, light lunch, hot meal). 2 hot meals/dinners a day would have been unacceptable! So I guess I worry that I am being equally food-harsh IYSWIM!

OP posts:
bigchris · 07/12/2010 20:46

Me neither
I pay 2.10 for Sch dinners
tea is usually toast or a sandwich

Portofino · 07/12/2010 20:48

My dd gets 3 courses at lunch plus a snack (fruit and a biscuit) at the afterschool club. Normally she has something like beans on toast, crumpets, a tortilla wrap or a small bowl of pasta. She'll have a piece of fruit or a yoghurt for desert.

Tonight, she had a bowl of cereal and a yoghurt, and a hot chocolate.

SixtyFootDoll · 07/12/2010 20:48

If mine have school dinners then they just get a snacky tea

defineme · 07/12/2010 20:49

There is nothing inherently nutritious about hot food as opposed to cold food.

If you throw in carrot sticks/ salad stuff/baked beans/fruit whatever alongside their sandwiches or eggs then it's the same as shepherd's pie or a roast dinner. Or if they have that fruit/veg as a snack when they get in and egg or sandwiches later.

I do do hot meal on the whole because school dinners don't fill up my kids -they are off the charts height wise and always hungry, but we've had friends round with them who eat like toddlers because they're only little-no point in making food if it won't get eaten.

JJ17 · 07/12/2010 20:50

Even though my DS2 gets a packed lunch we are far from starving and there is nothing wrong with "tea" for dinner.

QuintessentialShadows · 07/12/2010 20:51

I give mine a full on hot dinner at tea time because I am not too sure how much they eat. They always seem to be starving at that time anyway.

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/12/2010 20:52

I made DD hot dinner despite her having school lunch, but that's only really because I only eat one meal a day generally and wanted us to eat together.

Mind you she loved it when I was in sod it mood and we had weetabix for dinner.

Plus dd has always had a large appetite and was starving by the time dinner came round (we ate late, about 7ish).

magicmummy1 · 07/12/2010 20:53

Blush defineme, that would be my dd eating like a toddler. She'll eat virtually anything but only in small quantities. I am amazed (and slightly jealous!) when we have friends around and I see how much they eat!

onepieceoflollipop · 07/12/2010 20:55

I have a range of hot snacks/standbys that are used when stressed/short for time. Things like rice pudding (tin/mullerice), jacket potatoes, soup, hot milky drink to supplement a sandwich.

Tonight I stir fried a small chicken breast in little pieces between 2 little dds. (heated it with a pinch of chinese five spice with it). Put into warm pittas with salad and mayo. took 10 minutes. really just like a sandwich but with added veg (just cucumber/cherry tomatoes) and it was warm. :)

ceebeegeebies · 07/12/2010 20:59

Goldengreen lol, I did exactly the same Wink

DS1 is in after-school club 3 times a week and we don't get home until nearly 6 so there is no way I am cooking then - on the other 2 days when I actually pick him up at 3.30, I may run to a bowl of pasta or fish fingers but definitely nothing any more complicated than that!!

DS2 also has a cooked meal at lunchtime at nursery and then a 'tea' of sandwiches or soup at about 3.30...he rarely eats when we get home other than some fruit.

Ignore the other mums - they obviously have far too much time on their hands (just tell them that you would rather spend time with your DC than in the kitchen Wink)