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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a child who believes in Santa beyond 6/7ish is either...

312 replies

santaslayer · 06/12/2010 20:05

a bit naive or a bit dim?

I'm neither a troll nor 2bubs4me so no hunting. Grin

I dont remember ever believing in Santa, and I remember quite a lot from my pre-school years. I knew the size of the Earth, the number of people and the impossibility of the logistics of 'Santa'. I also knew better than to beleive everything my parents said Sad.

My DS is basically the same. I understand that 3yo's believe - it's cute, but I think it's a bit creepy when 8+yo's still do.

But I would never actually criticise a parent for having such deluded sheltered DCs.

OP posts:
Journey · 07/12/2010 10:41

I think it's odd the op never believed in Santa. It's sounds like she had a very strange and rather sad upbringing.

altinkum · 07/12/2010 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

domesticsluttery · 07/12/2010 10:46

I can't remembr believing in Santa either, not 100% beleiving anyway.

DS1 stopped beleiving last year, he was 7. He still goes along with the idea and loves Christmas, but just doesn't believe in Santa.

DS2 is 6 and TBH will probably beleive until he about 25. But he is quite naive Xmas Grin

I thought it was odd to begin with that children of 9 or 10 still believed, but then I suppose every child and every family is different.

masochismTangoer · 07/12/2010 10:52

I think that is says much more about the adults surrounding the DC than the DC. A lot of adults seem to have this need for DC to believe regardless of what the DC need.

There was a woman is local paper whose 8 year old let slip that she no longer believed - that she knew it was a story. Woman wrote a book - that did get published though can not remember the title- telling DC that Santa did exits and how it was wrong to not believe and went on mini campaign in local area promoting Santa to that age range. Low and behold her DC 'believed' again Hmm.

So I think it is unfair to call the DC dim.

sethstarkaddersmum · 07/12/2010 10:52

interesting assumptions on this thread - that if you don't promote extended Santa-belief you are joyless, don't like magic, have no imagination etc.... Hmm

I think it's wonderful seeing them work out for themselves why it can't be true - I think the development of rationality and independent thinking are wonderful things. I have very imaginative children but as far as I am concerned real imagination is where they come up with stuff themselves, not where they suppress logic and buy into existing stories because it is in their interest to do so. The scientific imagination is another kind of imagination and to make that logical step of thinking about why FC can't be true is a sign of a developing scientific imagination and can be cherished for that reason IMO.

There is also a world full of myths and magical stories out there but I am not quite sure why society promotes as special a story which encourages acquisitiveness. I am enthusiastic about some stories (we have hours of fun discussing Borrowers and Flower Fairies and whether there are also vegetable fairies.... etc etc) but the whole Father Christmas thing doesn't deserve to be taken as a token of whether you are a lovely warm person or joyless and unimaginative IMO.

jonesybells · 07/12/2010 10:53

"I think children who stop believing in Santa at an early age is a sign of dim parents, not of dim children." very well put spidookly

OP, the idea of a child believing in a magical story means that child is dim and deluded?

How very sad for you that you missed out on having an imagination as a child, and that now as an 'adult' the idea of children having an imagination creeps you out. Very sad.

My neighbour's friend agrees completely with you however, - but then she is a dim fuckwit twunt .

Merry Christmas Xmas Grin

masochismTangoer · 07/12/2010 10:55

I dont think it reflects her upbringing at all, however her vitriol attitude however does.

Maybe or she has relatives seriously pushing the idea onto her 8 year old DC - who is now expressing a need to know that it is a story.

spidookly · 07/12/2010 10:55

Richard Dawkins pontificating on Santa, now there's something I do not ever want to read or have to listen to him ranting about on the radio.

masochismTangoer · 07/12/2010 10:59

We do really do Santa - though DC are aware of story.

Their Teachers and Nursery workers and our family members keep on and on about what good imaginations they have. I also do not get how a focus on a family celebration spending time and having fun together rather than pushing idea of a stranger giving them gifts so bad.

altinkum · 07/12/2010 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

masochismTangoer · 07/12/2010 11:00

Richard Dawkins pontificating on Santa, now there's something I do not ever want to read or have to listen to him ranting about on the radio.

Nor do I - still does not mean we are pushing Santa at DC.

SparkleSoiree · 07/12/2010 11:08

I told my older son when he asked years ago that there is such a thing as Father Christmas. Many people also know him as St. Nicolas and although he passed away a long time ago many parents took on his role of "giving gifts" on his behalf to the children of the world. This is how the spirit of Christmas lives on.

The message I am giving my children by this story is that the gift of giving is a good thing and to spread happiness for one day of the year is also a very good thing. My DS is 18 now and he thinks I am an old romantic but my DD(10) has just learned this story too and thinks it is lovely.

I don't see why people have to be so black and white and emotionless about everything in life. If your heart is closed to any kind of magic in life then it will be a very boring existence.

I believe in father Christmas and I am 38!! I am also a grown up with a mortgage, family and business and I don't class myself as telling a lie by the above story, after all St Nicolas really did exist!

sethstarkaddersmum · 07/12/2010 11:11

LMAO at this link: Dawkins on Father Christmas:

'Dawkins, who pulled a cracker with Cocker on Tuesday's Today programme, said he drew the line at dressing up as Father Christmas.
And he said even as a child his questioning mind made him unpopular with other parents.
'My very first Christmas, maybe my second Christmas, there was a man called Sam who apparently dressed up as Father Christmas,' he said. 'All the children loved it, all completely fooled by Father Christmas being there.
'Eventually he said: 'Ho ho ho, it's time for me to go,' back to Greenland or wherever he comes from, so he left. Then I, the youngest of all of them, said: 'Sam's gone' and completely gave the game away to all the other children.'

like so many MN links it is from the DM

sitdownpleasegeorge · 07/12/2010 11:17

Listen very carefully, I will say this only once !

A CHILD WHO STILL BELIEVES IN FATHER CHRISTMAS AFTER 6/7 IS HAVING A LOVELY "CHILDHOOD" !

Ds1 (approaching 8) still believes and he is in various G&T groups at school so he ain't "dim".

He is not street-wise or cool, call him naive if you want to. I'm just trying to let him have his childhood without any pressure to grow up.

He has started asking a lot of questions though and he may demand a definate answer to the big question before Christmas Eve because those in his class who are in on the secret don't hesitate to talk about it openly. I feel sorry for their younger siblings having the magic of Christams reduced somewhat earlier in their life.

masochismTangoer · 07/12/2010 11:23

magic of Christmas yes because spending time and having fun and games and surprises with family at Christmas is not magical. No it is all about the man in the red suit giving gifts for free.

domesticsluttery · 07/12/2010 11:26

A CHILD WHO STILL BELIEVES IN FATHER CHRISTMAS AFTER 6/7 IS HAVING A LOVELY "CHILDHOOD" !

However, it doesn't automatically follow that a child who doesn't believe at that age isn't having a lovely childhood.

masochismTangoer · 07/12/2010 11:27

However, it doesn't automatically follow that a child who doesn't believe at that age isn't having a lovely childhood.

A better way of putting it.

Rebeccash · 07/12/2010 11:45

My 9 year old ds still believes, I too had better run to school and get him pulled out of top set because he must be dim (hmm)

pranma · 07/12/2010 11:53

I think it is beautiful if dc still believe,as long as possible,hold on tight to the magic-like an age in single figures it never comes back.I am 66 and still have a belief in the magic which is FC and gets into our hearts and minds at this time.
When my dgd who is Turkish found out at 9 she said to my ds[her dad],'So have you been lying to me all this time?'
'I'm afraid I have.'
'It was a lovely lie and I will tell it to my children.'
There you go-magic perpetuated.

pagwatch · 07/12/2010 11:53

Of course some children don't believe.
Of course some parents don't want them to
And those children are just as likely to be happy loved and joyful as Santa believing types.

I think the comments about joy and imagination are retorts addressed to the ops shit stirring thread suggesting dim wittery.

Believeing or not believing doesn't say anything about your child. Being snide about other peoples children says quite a lot about you though

sitdownpleasegeorge · 07/12/2010 13:19

Delete the word lovely and the reason is still valid, ds1 is having as long a childhood as I can manage to sustain for him.

I didn't say children who rumble the myth or are told about it before they are 6/7/8 were not having a magical christmas, just that the magic was reduced by knowing about FC as for it to be true, he must be magic, getting down chimneys, or into houses without them with a magic key, getting round the world in one night etc etc all surely requires a bit of magic doesn't it ?

SantasMooningArse · 07/12/2010 13:25

DS3 beleives in sant and is autistic; please don;t call him naive or dim, he is perfect to me and I hate this sort of random shite. I also happen to think a lifelong beleif in father Christmas is one of the few positives with his SN.

Thank you.

Lovecat · 07/12/2010 13:25

Only read the OP.

Miserable bitch.

bumpsoon · 07/12/2010 13:26

I cant help thinking that alot of children continue to 'believe' to go along with their parents and play the game ,plus they dont wantto give up the 'magic' of believing either .

lottiejenkins · 07/12/2010 13:45

Well said SantasMooningArse. My ds is autistic and profoundly deaf.He is 14 and still believes in Father Christmas. I have warned all the staff at his school not to spoil it for him and they have assured me they wont!
When we went to Disneyland Paris two years ago at Christmas he wanted to know if FC came to DL, i said no and that FC couldnt speak french and Pere Noel wouldnt like it. He then decided to hang his stocking on our chimney breast. A week before we went away we went next door to our lovely neighbours and J (husband) was cleaning the chimney. Wilf then decided he wanted to leave his stocking next door as FC would get dirty coming down our chimney and J and D's chimney was clean! They were delighted and more than happy to help with a little magic!!!