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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a child who believes in Santa beyond 6/7ish is either...

312 replies

santaslayer · 06/12/2010 20:05

a bit naive or a bit dim?

I'm neither a troll nor 2bubs4me so no hunting. Grin

I dont remember ever believing in Santa, and I remember quite a lot from my pre-school years. I knew the size of the Earth, the number of people and the impossibility of the logistics of 'Santa'. I also knew better than to beleive everything my parents said Sad.

My DS is basically the same. I understand that 3yo's believe - it's cute, but I think it's a bit creepy when 8+yo's still do.

But I would never actually criticise a parent for having such deluded sheltered DCs.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 06/12/2010 21:18

My 8y doesn't believe really now, but she won't quite admit it yet. I think she is hedging her bets - and not quite willing to admit just in case lol. But even though she knows deep down she till wants to do the whole works, still wanted to go and visit the grotto and see FC, still wants the reindeer food, and the stockings and to leave the mince pie out, etc.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 06/12/2010 21:19

The OP made me very sad Sad

My almost-7-yo is getting to the age of doubting, I think, but she'd never admit it, as she doesn't want it confirmed that there isn't a Santa. I'm happy for her to "believe" as long as she wants to, thanks. I'd rather she was "dim", "creepy" and "naive" than streetwise and cynical

WE also have that book about how santa works, and they watched POlar Express at the weekend, which seemed to stiffen her resolve to believe!

I think children gradually realise, and let go of the belief when they are ready. What's the rush- they have the rest of their life to be disillusioned with the world Sad?

Adversecamber · 06/12/2010 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarineIguana · 06/12/2010 21:21

I've sometimes been told I seem a bit autistic btw. I score highly on some areas (very literal-minded) but am completely the opposite in others (imagination/creativity/compassion).

I know that I just do not get the Santa thing. Not the idea of him, which is fun, but the literal belief. I just can't understand why the "magic" is over once the belief is over. To me it's not at all. You can enjoy the "magic" of something that you know to be made up.

cakewench · 06/12/2010 21:22

meh. I chose to believe. I might have believed until I was 8 or 9, I'm not sure. My mum always said she'd helped Santa write the gift tags (I'd noticed the handwriting from an early age) and I left it at that. She liked doing the show, and I liked dreaming.

Did I 'know'? yeah. But if you as an adult had asked me, I'd have said otherwise.

Lilka · 06/12/2010 21:29

Whats autistic got to do with it exactly?? I have it (aspergers) and I think father christmas is great! I was upset secretly that DD1 didn't believe in Santa when she arrived home at 10 - even though that was me being abit thick, why would a street smart kid with a few years in care under her belt and iwon't talk about what came before, still believe in Santa?? DD2 at 8, when she came home, did believe interestingly enough, but she was scared of santa, for reasons i won't go into either. Suffice to say that the thought of that man comnig into her room again terrfied her, so i sympathised, told her i would write a strongly worded letter to santa, he would not be coming here, and i would but all her presents for her! Didn't actually break the news at that point because i knew she would let slip to all her friend at school who did love the magic. And she was either told by a friend or worked it out the following year anyway

SuzieHomemaker · 06/12/2010 21:30

I guess we were scuppered from the start by DD1's fear of strangers coming into the house in the night. She was reassured to find out that some households have alternative arrangements.

DCs still get a stocking so that Mum & Dad can have a 'lie-in'.

No magic but lots of Mum & Dad tipsily tiptoeing round.

TheMeow · 06/12/2010 21:30

It's magic silly.

PercyPigPie · 06/12/2010 21:31

Why naive? We also expect them to believe that when a man puts his penis inside a woman and wiggles it around a bit, a baby comes out nine months later. Also sounds highly unlikely & far-fetched but no-one thinks you are naive believing that.

QuickLookBusySanta · 06/12/2010 21:33

My teenage DDs keep telling me that FC is not real! I dont believe them!!Xmas Smile

tigitigi · 06/12/2010 21:37

My children (4 and2) don't believe, we just don't do him in our house but they know all about him and know their friends think he is real and that they must not let on. They are really good about this.

If parents and their children want to believe - fine, if they choose that it is not part of their life (I find the whole idea of someone coming into the house creepy and feel there are more important aspects to christmas) that should also be fine.

Why each set of people feel the need to beat the other set up about what they believe, how they go about things I will never understand.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 06/12/2010 21:39

If you have children op I for one feel sorry for them !

Original poster
santaslayer · 06/12/2010 21:40

See this is why I don't say things like this in RL. Grin

FTR it is a time-consuming PITA to namechange back to regular name, read and post on another thread, check facebook then come back here, read posts and namechange again.

Can't remember everyone's names but in response to posts-

Dont worry 'bout Biscuit s (I've had them before Wink

I do have a 8yo. He certainly doesn't fit the definition of naive above. I never said naivity was necessarily a bad thing (I'm sooo not backtracking btw), it has its pros and cons. Personally I'd rather a child with a realistic outlook but other parents have the right to raise their DCs otherwise.

DS and I probably are on the autistic spectrum. I certainly got a v high score on that quiz that was kicking abut last month. Maybe our Santa-disbelieving is part of that.

I never believed in the tooth fairy either. from photos I know that this was when I was 6. I actually kept my teeth, instead of putting them under my pillow because I didn't want my Mum to flush them down the loo!

BTW my Mum still labels my Christmas present 'from Santa' even though I'm in my 30s!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 06/12/2010 21:41

I'm a cynic known for being hard on here.

But people like you really take all the joy out of living.

Hassledge · 06/12/2010 21:42

In the OP's defense, when your child is 3 you see 6/7/8 year olds as OLD. Really, really old. It's not till your 3 year old becomes 7 you realise that they're still little kids. It's like when you're a teenager and you think 30 is really old.

My 8 year old is lying that he believes, I reckon. I'm quite happy to sustain the lie for as long as he wants.

Mumcentreplus · 06/12/2010 21:42

My DDs don't do christmas more-less Santa..never have

usualsuspect · 06/12/2010 21:44

Why name change though? and a bit off to call other peoples kids dim and creepy ..fair enough if your kids don't believe but why piss on every body elses chips

MogTheForgetfulCat · 06/12/2010 21:47

I think I was 9 when I realised that the writing on the tags on the Christmas presents was my mum's and that therefore Father Christmas was made up

I remember reading about Spike Milligan's son who was quite distraught to find out (at some ripe old, teenage age) that the letters to him in tiny writing from the bottom of the garden had actually been written by his dad (maybe they stopped when he died? Can't remember.) I thought it was sweet!

NotFromConcentrate · 06/12/2010 21:50

Maybe children of that age who do believe just have super duper parents who make everything so exciting and magical that there is no doubt in their little intelligent minds that Santa is real...

zanz1bar · 06/12/2010 21:51

hang on a minute, Stop with the autism, lack of soul, lack of fun stuff.

I dont ever remember believing in Santa, and my Dc stopped at about their 3rd christmas. like to think we have fun at christmas and love all the traditional christmas role play about father christmas.

I dont want to get into the god question as I like my seat on the fence, the view is great on both sides.

I dislike the way the santa ritual is an elaborate way to build your child up to believe in what you the parent tell them is the honest truth when you know it is not and at some oint you will have to stand in front of your child and explain why you chose to go to such lenghts to lie to them.
And then be suprised by the tears.

People lie, adults lie, not everything you are told as a child is the truth, and my DC know that and know when I say something is true it dam well is.

pigletmania · 06/12/2010 21:57

I believe in Santa am I THICK OR DIM, oh get a life. So what is an 8 year old believes in Santa, life if too short, they are only children for a short while, let the magic last. Whats wrong with you, want children to grow old before their time. Have a Biscuit and join the other miseryguts on the other thread.

hairyfairylights · 06/12/2010 21:57

Lol at the cunts comment!! :)

zanz1bar · 06/12/2010 22:03

Piglet I don't think you are thick at all. I have never met you, and at no point do I think you are stupid.
But you lie to your children, you go out of the way to create a lie to them and you will have to tell them at some point.
Now you could say it is an excellent lesson inlife to learn about disapoitmnet in reality in a loving family, and you might be right. But you lie to them, not me.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 06/12/2010 22:03

What's autism got to do with anything Xmas Confused

My dd is almost 12, has autism and believes in santa, in fact when talking about stuff I bought her for christmas she will correct me and say 'no, father christmas brought me that one'

Sadly I think this year i'm going to have to tell her santa isn't real, mainly because I don't want twats like the op ripping the piss out of her.

thatsnotmymonkey · 06/12/2010 22:07

"Oh but I am a bit autistic", so it is OK to shit all over Christmas-wow, new lows OP