I'm really annoyed about this but WIBU to e-mail the headmaster of DD's school or not?

[roomonthebroom]

DD's school is closed today because of the snow. The school has sent an e-mail to all of the parents with an attachment containing work sheets for the children to complete at home. There is one for each year group and they are similar to the usual homework exercises sent.

My DD is in Primary 1 so it's a bit of colouring in, but there are different sheets for each year group. For the P6 children there is a worksheet with words which they need to copy and then write a sentence for 4 of the words of thier choosing. However, there is a second P6 worksheet with the names of 2 specific children on it who have been given much easier words as they obviously have some additional learning needs.

AIBU in thinking that if there was going to be differentiated homework the school should have e-mailed this to the parent's of the 2 children affected, rather than send the same message to the whole of the junior school which pretty much says 'in case you hadn't noticed, children X and Y need additional learning support'.

Although my child is not affected I feel that I want to e-mail the headmaster to point this out. Should I, or should I just get over it? It's just made me feel a bit uncomfortable about the way the school may treat those with ASN.

FWIW I'm a former teacher and would never have singled a child out in this way, but don't know if this is 'normal' behaviour.

Do it. You're right, but probably nobody else noticed.

YANBU. It's very unfair to single out individual children in this way.

YANBU,

Email them, yes.

Please do email.

I think that's appallingly thoughtless of the school.

Do mail, it was probably just an oversight as the pressures to find things that can be done via computer is difficult. BUT as you say these children are pupils too. A simple but polite email to say you noticed it is a kind thing to do for these children.

YANBU

It would have been so easy to do as you said instead of this.

Hope other parents who did notice mail too!

Yep, that's wrong of the school. These kids may be quite young but it doesn't stop the parents at the school gate talking etc (sometimes anyway). Its would have been easy enough to give them their homework separate to the group email.

That's pretty cr@p of the school really, and although your kids aren't affected, I think you should email anyway. At best, this is a one off mistake that you have pointed out and they now have the opportunity to apologise (to the affected parents) for, at worst, it might be indicative of the way these two children are dealt with all the time ("right everybody except a and b please do this"), and might make them re-think.

D

I have a child whom this might have happened to and I can honestly say it would not have bothered me or my daughter as everyone in her class knows that she is dyslexic and this is hard for her so sometimes she needs special consideration. I think she would simply be pleased that it had been thought of that she wouldnt be able to do the words the rest of the class had to do.

YANBU however you might find the parent and children in this situation didnt mind. so perhaps ask them first?
they will 100% have noticed

Thanks, I will send them a polite e-mail saying that I appreciate how difficult it is to send appropriate homework via e-mail and that it was probably and oversight blah, blah, blah but please consider sending a seperate e-mail, particularly if it only applies to a small number of children.

You're right Tatty, I am more concerned about the parents talking about the children as some of them are very arsey competetive when it comes to their DC's abilities.

Glad you're going to point it out. That's shit of them - really lazy admin. A second's thought and it wouldn't have happened.

Hi Lonnie,

Thanks for your input, I was an English Teacher before my 'career break' so often taught children with dyslexia and always made sure the work was accessible for them, I just would have made sure I was more sensitive in the way I did it. IME the children with dyslexia I taught often had lower self-esteem regarding school work because they felt 'everyone knew they struggled with reading and writing' and it made them feel embarrassed. It was my job to make life easier for them, not draw attention to the fact that they were in any way different, for want of a better word. I'm not for a minute suggesting that there shouldn't have been a seperate worksheet, was just questioning how it had been delivered :)

Unfortunately I don't know the parents of the children involved so can't ask what they thought of it.

The email was sent to you not the children concerned so I can't really see how it would affect the self esteem of the children involved unless you are going to bring it to the notice of everyone.
I'm surprised that they can't do email groups for year groupings though, its not exactly hard to set up.

Dan I made the point about self-esteem regarding my RL experience of teaching children with dyslexia in response to Lonnie's reply, and appreciate that the e-mail was sent to parents, and not children. However, some parents may point it out to their children which may cause teasing at school. Don't know if your a teacher yourself, but IME school can be difficult enough for any child who is perceived to be 'different' by thier peers, and I just think the situation could have been handled in a more appropriate way.

At no point have I said I was going to 'bring it to the notice of everyone', but was merely going to send a polite e-mail the head.

I agree with your point about the group e-mail and will include this idea in my e-mail to the head.

'you're' obviously:o

Tricky one, I'm sure the person how sent out the email didn't mean to single out the two children involved but if I was one of their parents I would be furious.

Maybe the parents of P6 children would be aware that the 2 children were behind the others but it certainly shouldn't have been made public.

On balance I think it would be worth mentioning in a polite way. You sound like a very caring parent btw.

YANBU. It was insensitive. Hope it was a mistake

The school should be able to send out emails to everyone without revealing email addresses. So they could easily send different emails to the parents of the children who needed different work would be able to receive that different work without anyone knowing.

I'd email. It's probably someone in the office who has sent it out.

Well spotted, my DS could have been one of those getting the different work. Polite e-mail would be a good idea.

I really don't think you should email. It's absolutely none of your business. If it's for anyone to complain it's the parents of the kids who got different work. Not you.

But by doing so you would be giving those of us who have dcs with SEN some much needed and valued support.

YABU

I don't think it's any of your business, you don't know if the parents are bothered by this or not and it's not your place to be bothered on their behalf.

It's like friends having a nickname for one another and being quite happy with it and someone else deciding it's racist/fattist/disabilist or whatever.

I can see what Sauvignon is saying, but I think it can go either way. If it was my child I would be annoyed at other people deciding what I should or shouldn't be bothered by and wouldn't thank them for sticking their beak in.

OP - I guess do what you want, there isn't a 'right' answer.

Why did you open the attachment intended for Year 6?

And I don't see why it's any of your business. No-one is going to start bullying the kids for this, and no-one will think less of the parents for having SEN kids. You're looking for a problem when there isn't one there.

I would complain as I am certain that if it was my ds's name on those sheets (which it probably would be) I would be fuming. I be very grateful if other oarents complained as well as it would stop it just being one complaint.

Actually I would care very much if ds's name was so obviously advertised as having SEN and I think in year 6, Ds would be upset too.