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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking that racisim is sometimes used when suited by some!

22 replies

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:14

A child was invited to a sleepover at school(of Asian decent, fasts at Ramadam so not sure of religion or culture issues here) and said to the other kids, they were not allowed to go as it was to a white person's house, one of the children said that is racist and the Asian kid said I know!

I was shocked that this goes on in this day and age, does it still go on a lot?! Also I wonder if the child having the party said to that Asian kid, you can't come as you are white what the parents reaction would have been?

OP posts:

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:15

opps, should have been, you can't come as you are not white!

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 05/12/2010 00:18

Where did you come by the info on this?

If it was from a DC, I wouldn't give it too much credence.

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:19

yes dc, I am a single parent and it has been bothering me!

OP posts:

Limez · 05/12/2010 00:19

I dont understand.

Anyway, kids come out with all kinds of crap.

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:19

not got dp to talk this through with

OP posts:

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:22

ok you guys think that the other kid made it up then? maybe they did!

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 05/12/2010 00:22

If the child fasts at Ramadan, they are Muslim.
So the parents may be concerned about halal food, alcohol drinking by adults, smoking by the adult female, cultural clash stuff.
Or they could be racist. Some of the nastiest insults used to fly between the Pakistani and Bengali children in my school, both groups Muslim.

AgentZigzag · 05/12/2010 00:22

Children say all sorts of things they 'shouldn't'.

'He's a gay', 'you're fat and ugly' 'you live in a rented house' (one I threw at someone when I was younger ).

I bet the conversation didn't go anything like how it was retold.

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:24

Goblin, then it was probably a religious thing, kids not always able to explain to one another! thanks x

OP posts:

narkypuffin · 05/12/2010 00:26

My muslim friends at school weren't allowed to set foot in the house of non-muslim friends by their parents.

narkypuffin · 05/12/2010 00:27

The girls that is

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:27

Narky, definatly sounds like a religious thing that the kids could not explain/understand! I will explain to kids now, what it was all about, thanks x

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 05/12/2010 00:28

I've had white Exclusive Bretheren in class, not allowed to socialise with others not in the sect.

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:29

Goblin not sure exactly what you mean?

OP posts:

narkypuffin · 05/12/2010 00:34

Plymouth?

Goblinchild · 05/12/2010 00:36

That some groups aren't comfortable with the loss of control they face if their child goes to an unknown person's house.
The Brethren are a very strict Christian sect.

Goblinchild · 05/12/2010 00:37

NP, they left the Plymouth lot because they weren't strict enough.

curlymama · 05/12/2010 00:41

When I was little one of my Muslim friends wasn't allowed to come to our house because my family isn't Muslim.

Racism works both ways.

magicmummy1 · 05/12/2010 00:53

There are several muslim children of asian descent in dd's class, and another from an arab family. They all socialise with non-muslims outside school, and one of them is regularly at our house! :)

However, there is a little girl from a very strict christian family who isn't allowed to play outside school with children who don't attend her church. For whatever reason, some people don't like to mix outside their own circle. Pity, because it's the children that suffer.

Original poster

Mum2harryandben · 05/12/2010 00:59

It sounds more like a religion thing than a race thing, from what other posters are saying!

OP posts:

ccpccp · 05/12/2010 09:46

No race is more 'racist' than any other. Its just that in a predominantly white country we are the only ones who ever get pulled up on it.

The more multicultural the UK gets, the more you will see other cultures showing their racism. Some of that will be against white people.

Firawla · 05/12/2010 22:03

I wouldn't be surprised about it, some people are like that within every community and it definitely exists within the muslim community, it is more of a religion thing than race, if it was a white muslim house i think they would have more chance of allowing it, although alot of parents are strict and wouldnt allow their dc to sleep over @ anyone's house whatsoever so it could be they said that reason but even another asian house they wont allow them to stay over anyway.
But yes there is racism within the asian and muslim community, you should see the issues we have with marriage if you want to marry someone from a different background (muslims but from a different country or area) - in some families this is like omg scandal, no way! and we have a lot of struggle with it. but its more with the elder people, the younger generations are much better and more open, generally. and those who dont live in mixed communities but only with their own people, they just dont have much experience of others so it becomes like a fear of the unknown type thing, and sometimes percieving that all non muslims are against us etc - i know alot of people with this attitude, and it does take time to wear it down.
and its not everyone in our community whos like this so wouldnt let it put u off inviting muslim children again or anything

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