To think people should only spend what they can afford at christmas ?

[charlieincharge]

Have been really suprised this Christmas at how many people who normally seem sensible and intelligent are buying things for their kids that they just can't afford (by their own admission).

Where does this insecurity come from that they kids must have what their friends have? Is this the way it is now ?

I know several people who are really struggling financially who are spending a ridiculous amount on gifts. Some of them started shopping ages ago to save money and are now adding more and more stuff as they hear what others are getting and christmas lists get written.

Most people I know only have little ones and the eldest are around 7 - what about when all toddler siblings grow up ?

Am I just naive or is more marked this year in the midst of the recession than ever ?

Am not normally scrooge-like at all and never actually thought of myself as good with money but am shocked that people who aren't sure if they will have a job after xmas will buy £2-300 christmas presents for kids under 7. And am wearing my judgey pants on with no shame.

What stands out is that in alot of instances the kids aren't asking for this stuff. You see posts from people whose kids have asked for something really small and the parents are asking what big present they can buy. I'd just have thought those parents would be thinking 'thank God, I can make them happy without breaking the bank'

Even if they do ask for it you don't have to buy it. I'm sure if they grow up getting everything that they ask for without understanding the value of it they are more likely to get into lots of debt when they grow up.

DS1, who is 8, asked if he coudl have a mobile phone as some of his friends have them. We said he couldn't have oen until eh was older. I don't think it scarred him for life.

DD, who is 4, wants a pony. Even she realises that this is unrealistic

A friend of dd last year got a laptop, uggs and a moblie. Madness as she was 10 year old. Dd got a netbook last year by pooling her birthday money and waiting for the sales.

I could have afforded one but thought that as we have a perfectly nice,well functioning pc I would by something she needed/wanted more.

Buy not by!

I find it quite easy to say "no" to things, but I think that is because we could buy them more if we wanted so it feels more of a choice not to rather than being forced not to, which I think must be so much harder. Plus I hate too much rubbish lovely stuff lying around the house.

To quote an earlier post:

"A friend of mine is a single parent, and receives only £15 pw maintenance. But she has spent a FORTUNE on her children, well over £300. We all think she's a mentalist and have told her so, but her defence was this.... "My mum was always bloody brassic, and my best Christmas present ever was a portable tv that she bought second hand when I was 14, and it broke after 2 weeks, and I was gutted. I NEVER had what my friends had and my kids are not having that life. I would starve rather than do that to my kids.""

Some people equate doing their best for their children, with spending money on them. Sad really.

I'd imagine that the "bloody brassic" comment has alot more behind it than not getting nice Christmas presents.