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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go abroad without dcs

25 replies

imgonnaliveforever · 02/12/2010 21:30

DH and I are thinking about a short ski break with friends but without DCs. DCs are 3yo and 1.5yo so still very young. But it would only be for long weekend, leaving Friday night and returning Monday, either morning or evening. I've left them for 2 days and one night a couple of times before, so this would be the longest time of leaving them.

DCs would be staying with grandparents. Would be for a driving and skiing holiday, so it almost seems fairer to leave them in familiar home environment than to drag them through overnight car journeys and cold alpine weather. Obviously would be even fairer on them not to go at all.

So AIBU?

OP posts:

ElusiveMoose · 02/12/2010 21:43

No, of course YANBU. Assuming of course that they like staying with GPs and you're expecting them to have a nice time (obv you can never guarantee it 100%). I was always pretty PFB-esque with my first son, and we still managed a two night trip to Paris when he was 8 months, and again to Rome when he was 2. The first time he was slightly unsettled (though no more than he was with me ), but the second time he enjoyed every minute. Incidentally, why do you think YABU? Has someone else intimated this?

Bechka · 02/12/2010 21:45

YANBU!

magicmummy1 · 02/12/2010 21:50

yanbu if you're confident that they'll be fine with grandparents and if grandparents are happy with it.

Having said that, I wouldn't go myself!

frgr · 02/12/2010 21:52

yanbu, great chance to get quality time with the grandparents apart from anything!

go, and have fun!

mummytoatribe · 02/12/2010 21:55

Of course you're BU!

Because I have 5 kids and no one daft enough to babysit them all weekend so if I cant do that, anyone who can should be shot, end of.

Enjoy!

knackered76 · 02/12/2010 21:57

Go, go, go

Desiderata · 02/12/2010 21:58

Well, I guess you're not being unreasonable, but it's not something I'd do myself.

Each to their own.

atmywitssend · 02/12/2010 21:59

YABU - we've gone on a few weekends abroad leaving DS (now 3) with Granny. They've both had a great time - so have we. Go and enjoy!

heymango · 02/12/2010 22:00

YANBU - go! I am very jealous - as mummytoatribe says, offers are few and far between when you have 3/4/5 children.

angel1976 · 02/12/2010 22:00

YANBU!

I just did it but for 8 days! I planned a surprise week-long trip to Tokyo for DH's 30th birthday and DS1 was only 2.8 and DS2 had only turned a year old. I was so worried about it beforehand (you can find numerous posts about it from me!) but the DCs were absolutely fine with their GPs. Can't say the same for my ILs though, they were knackered! LOL. Do it. When they are a bit bigger, you can take them with you. We are going to do that the next ski season so that at least DS1 can go into ski school! Enjoy and DON'T FEEL GUILTY.

pud1 · 02/12/2010 22:03

YANBU- i went away for a few days at the end of summer. left dd's with gp for 3 nights. they are same age as yours and i honesty think they had a better time than us.

Desiderata · 02/12/2010 22:08

Ummmm, don't be so sure that the grandparents love it. They're telling you what you want to hear.

As a publican, I have to say that I hear the flip side of the coin all the time.

They've done their bit. OK, maybe, every now and again, but going on holiday and leaving your children with GPs is ... sorry, a tad selfish.

They're your kids. They either go with you, or you don't go, imo.

Original poster

imgonnaliveforever · 02/12/2010 22:11

Desiderata - I know it's hard work on GPs. Am beginning to speak to them now to check how they feel as they already do a lot for us. But would be both sets of grandparents for 3 day holiday, so only 1.5 days for each set, hopefully not to much of a massive burden.

OP posts:

heymango · 02/12/2010 22:11

Clearly from what the OP is saying, it is a one-off. Some GPs enjoy it, others don't. Parents are allowed time off occasionally.

sunnydelight · 02/12/2010 22:12

YANBU - a healthy relationship with your DH equals a happy family in my book. DH and I always managed one weekend a year away by ourselves, even when we had three!

Desiderata · 02/12/2010 22:19

Only if there's someone there to provide it, Mango.

ElusiveMoose · 02/12/2010 22:20

God, my parents and ILs are constantly pestering me to let them look after my DC for a weekend. I am very lucky .

Also, I agree with whoever said that it's important for your children to see you and your husband having your own relationship. The other day, I gave DH a cuddle while we were standing in the living room, and DS1 looked quite shocked and said 'Mummy, what are you doing?' . That really made me stop and think.

heymango · 02/12/2010 22:27

Which, in this case, there is. Wish there were willing volunteers around here

FanjolinaJolie · 02/12/2010 22:28

YANBU go and enjoy!!

LadyBiscuit · 02/12/2010 22:32

My parents are constantly trying to get me to bugger off for more than a night so that they can make merry with my DS. A lot of GPs would bite your arm off desiderata, even if that isn't your experience.

Go OP and enjoy - I'm dragging my DS who is 3 off skiing for the second time in his short life and I have to say that he really isn't that keen but hey, life doesn't revolve around him.

pink4ever · 02/12/2010 22:43

I left my ds with gp when he was 2 for a hol(2 nights!) in dublin but tbh didnt enjoy myself as was too worried thinking of ds(of course gp looked after him perfectly well). Now I have 3 dcs will never get chance to do such a thing but dont think would want to.To me holidays when you have kids should be family hols. But am sure you will have a great time as will kids.

PatriciaHolm · 02/12/2010 23:15

We do this a couple of times a year, it's great! My PILs said from day one they would love to do this, their parents did it for them so they appreciate how nice it is, and they all have a fun (and tiring!) weekend. If they are happy to do it, go!

frgr · 02/12/2010 23:42

Desiderata that's a good point about unwilling grandparents - it's never good to just assume they'd be happy to do it! In many cases, including my own, both sets of parents would be more than willing (in fact can be too insistent sometimes) to have ours over the weekend.

So, you're totally right - as long as GPs are 100% willing then I definitely think the OP should go off and have some fun! :)

Merlotmonster · 02/12/2010 23:53

Go and have fun...its only a weekend so why are you even worrying about it :)

TyraG · 03/12/2010 06:36

YANBU - We've left DCs with my ma and stepfather (when we were in the states) several times to go abroad alone or even just to go out of town. Parents need alone time, it helps you reconnect and well you know....bow chica bow wow.

As to whether the grandparents like it or not, I've always told her to let me know if it seems as though we were taking advantage of their good nature because I never wanted them to start to resent us or resent having the kids there.

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