to think there is nothing as embarrassing as a joke falling flat on it's arse...

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I can't stop thinking about it.

Tell the joke... you know you want to

Are you ready to talk about it?

C'mon. Spill.

we want to hear it so that we can revel in your embarrassment

come on, what did you do?

we promise not to laugh at least if we do you won't hear --us-

Aw, I'll tell you my Dad's joke he made to a packed lecture hall once to make you feel better (and spill it):

Vincent Van Gogh sits in a pub. His mate comes in and spots him; he shouts "Hey! Vincent! Fancy a pint?"

Vincent replies "No thanks, I've already got one"

Shit."I've got one 'ere (ear)"

Ouch Tethers, I am burning up on his behalf, and my DH does this also!

"I went to a zoo with just one animal. It was a shit zoo"

"Oh no.. wait, I meant there was just one DOG. It was a shitzu".

Bless 'im.

does it involve corners and carpet explosions :(

I remember someone trying to tell this one:

"Whaddaya call a deer with one eye?"

"What?"

"One eye deer."

< tumbleweed >

< Joke-teller looks perplexed at failure of joke that convulsed the room when she heard it >

Says I ... "Er, isn't it supposed to be a deer with NO eyes?"

"Ah yes! Right... So what do you call a deer with no eyes?"

My DH changes/forgets the punchline of all jokes, so that they are not remotely funny. Then when he is met with tumbleweed he says 'yeah it's not very good is it? - Kurri told it to me'

Ah yes but BalloonSlayer what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs....?

Or indeed, a deer with no eyes and no legs that's on fire...?

Well?

Still no flamin'idea :)

hehehe yes NannyNobbly! Love those jokes, if people haven't heard them they go down quite well!

I can't.... It wasn't a joke, it was me trying to be witty and clever and I am so ashamed. Someone sent me a text, I spoof-ed it and sent it back sort of thing and they text again totally not "lol-ing" at my text (I don't think they got it) and now they probably think I am bonkers. Oh god, I keep doing it too. They honestly must think I am insane, I keep making crap joke after crap joke. It's like an illness. OMG I can't even think about it.

It's called 'foot in mouthitis' and i suffer from it too...

It's ok, they won't hang you for it

A few years ago there was a bbc.com news report about the chairman of the US Fed with a picture of him looking exactly like Dad Royle, Ricky Wassisname, from the Royle Family. I forwarded it to my boss with the message "Chairman of the Fed, my arse" tried to bring it up in conversation to explain my odd email Damn telly avoiders!

what do you call a deer with no legs and no bollocks?

still no fucking idea

Googled Fed man... he doesn't look like Jim Royle (think it's Jim to be fair.

I have to see this person later.... I actually feel a little sick.