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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect my family to call up to wish dd a happy birthday?

17 replies

Chippychop · 30/11/2010 22:39

Ok she may be one but she's the only female grandchild/niece on either side of our familes. My cousin and BIL were the only ones to call and see if she was having a nice day, my mum, sister, brother SIL,... Zilch. In laws......zilch. Not a text nothing. Pardon me mum did call to moan about not being able work the internet properly and sister left a message to say she'd been busy taking mumto buy a new microwave and would call tomorrow. But thats not the point she's one today! I am so sick of the nephews coming first. Just because we dont live on the doorstep its out of sight out of mind!

OP posts:
MrManager · 30/11/2010 23:54

Are you serious? She is one. What are they going to talk about?

Most people are happy with cards.

QueenStromba · 01/12/2010 00:30

Do you seriously think your daughter even understands what a birthday is? I'd understand if she was 3 or 4 but since she's one YABU.

Lonnie · 01/12/2010 00:31

YANBU

my mother doesnt phone text or email with any of my children yet if I do not comment on my nieces birthday I am Horrific.

no your dd wont notice but for you its a big deal your daughter is 1 and you want to celebrate that.

Happy late birthday to her

elphabadefiesgravity · 01/12/2010 00:38

YABU, it wouldn't occur to me to call.

WingDad · 01/12/2010 00:44

It's always nice when family members phone to say happy birthday to any of the kids, but it's not something I lose any sleep over if they don't call. Maybe they're just busy? Perfectly understandable.

sunnydelight · 01/12/2010 01:10

I'm sorry you're upset, but I really don't understand why people seem to have such expectations around family and children's birthdays. She is your child so it is a huge deal to YOU, it's not really a big deal to anyone else. Hope she had a lovely day Smile

lovereading · 01/12/2010 01:16

Maybe, next year you could invite the people you expected the phone calls over on your child's birthday, and they say say "Happy birthday" in person.

AnotherSingingMummy · 01/12/2010 03:33

Ah, hope the child had a nice birthday.

Penelope1980 · 01/12/2010 06:21

YABU. I always think that first birthdays are more about the parents than the children anyway.

BrokenRing · 01/12/2010 07:41

We have the situation that my MIL phones to wish the children happy birthday - usually at breakfast-time before they go to school - but my parents never do. They wait until the birthday girl/boy phones them to say thank you for their presents. It riles me up no end that my parents don't bother - but they're like that with general phonecalls anyway. They never phone us but expect us to phone them every time. They're not busy, they know we would welsome a call at any time, but they wait for the thank-you rather than bothering to say H B'day to their grandchildren first.

Mum2HarryandBen · 01/12/2010 10:02

YABU, what Penelope said

Vallhala · 01/12/2010 10:04

She's one! Why on earth would anyone think of telephoning a one year old?

YABU.

dweezle · 01/12/2010 10:21

Uuurk - my parents phone children and g/c for birthdays but none of the rest of us do. DH's family phone every man and his dog on their birthdays to the extent that I never pick up the phone on my birthday. Cringemaking.

snugglepops · 01/12/2010 10:21

Best just to celebrate the day and be pleased if everything is well with your daughter and that she has her health and happiness than worry about others.

I kind of think the first birthday should be a celebration by the parent/s and so it would be nice that your family call and check to see how you are doing but it is not essential.

I remember someone telling me about their child's first birthday (child had major health issues and was extremely ill) and had been fussed over when born but the parents only received two lots of well wishes at the first birthday (when it was a real achievement for their child to make it to one) and to them it showed them who their real close friends were.

HappySeven · 01/12/2010 10:47

YABU. I'm also intrigued to know whether if she was a boy (you make a point of saying she's the only granddaughter/niece) you wouldn't mind?

Chippychop · 01/12/2010 18:43

Ok nice to know from objective people. Its just my kids always seem to get forgotten because we're miles away and maybe i'm being over sensitive.

Happyseven...i only made the point about her being a girl because they all made such a fuss about the fact when she was born

Will try not to have such expectations next time

OP posts:
HappySeven · 01/12/2010 19:16

Fair enough, Chippychop. I guess I don't come from a family that would ever make much of a fuss so it wouldn't bother me. Maybe the nephews don't really get remembered more although I can see it might seem that way if they are local. Hope you had a nice day anyway.

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