to not want DS to be weighed and measured at school

[choufleur]

Got letter from DS's school today to say that he will be weighed and measured (obviously along with all other kids in his class) to see if he's a healthy weight.

I think it's a completely pointless thing to do. And one that could potentially contribute to healthy children having issues about their weight.

AIBU to not let him be weighed and measured?

Unless your child is very large or very small I can't see what the problem is.

Does the child actually find out? Do they get told at the time? Do they get told at the time with meaning, so they can run around in the playground afterwards shouting out -- "Teacher says I'm 53 kg and that's FAT everybody, do you hear me, I'm fat!"

Or whatever.

Coz I suspect most Reception age children don't retain the info for more than 3 seconds (assuming they're told at all), and that most Yr6s keep the info to themselves, so not really likely to contribute to a weight obsession.

DS was weighed and measured last year. To be honest I gave my consent then completely forgot about it. Only remembered when letter from LA came to say he had been weighed. I don't realy see it as a big deal. But it's up to each parent I suppose.

They are not weighed in front of each other, the children are not given their weights, the is sent in a letter home, so I really don't see how this can become an issue, except as others have said when your child is the one child is not weighed and they will end up wondering why they are different.

I feel I should add.

All my other 3 kids have been weighed/measured the only one I said no to was dd2 and I took pro-active steps and phoned the nurse and explained my reasons.

In dd2's case she knows she is small and has self-confidence issues around this - measuring and weighing her would have made these issues worse IMHO.

At the end of the day, every parent has the right to withhold consent for these measurements. And sometimes it isn't just a matter of a child being overweight or neglected in some other way.

The actual weighing doesn't bother me at all. I reckon my DCs are a healthy weight and if it turns out they aren't then I'd want to know so I could make sure they were healthy.

BUT I've read about some schools using the data for class work, comparing weights for maths etc - absolutely not on IMO.

In dd2's case it is very obvious.

She is 8, will be 9 in Feb
She wears age 4 clothes and is often taken for a P1 child.

I don't need her measured to know that she is small

YAsoNBU
I've just opted out of having DS1 weighed and measured.
He is a big boy, one of the eldest in the year on the 98th percentile for height and 91st for weight.
He also plays football 2 a week, rugby once and runs with me, about 10km a week,.
Therefore he is not fat...
But try convincing him of that, whilst he lines up next to his peers who are half his size.
I have to regularly reassure him whilst he pinches a cm of fat on his stomach.
So the last thing I need is a letter from some nurse telling us he is overweight because they haven't looked at the bigger picture.

Well, Riven, I'm not into fucking kids as you know, thanks!

If they have neglectful parents or an unsupportive home life, a letter home is not going to do much.

What I object to is that's not why the scheme began, but you dont know where its going to end up. I dont support it. I do care about neglected kids but I'd like to think the teachers are looking out for them in some way anyway if there is an extreme case.

If it was just at reception I dont think I'd feel so uneasy but they get weighed again on leaving primary and by then it might make more of an impression on them - that's the bit that worries me more. If you give permission for them to take part in the scheme, you are giving permission for both.

My gut feeling is that I dont like the idea even though I know in the majority of cases nothing bad will come of it. But my gut is that actually I dont feel the school should get involved with my child's health - so my child can opt out. Neglectful or unsupportive parents will probably be so neglectful and unsupportive they wont bother to sign the opt out form...?

you have to actively phone or write to the nursing team to opt out, so unless you are concerned you really wouldn't bother...
also, ds1 was called into the room alphabetically, so the other dc had no idea he wasn't being weighed.

Presumably, you consented to your child being weighed and measured as a baby?
What's the difference now?
I really don't see the problem.

Riven, can you do the "get on the scales, write the number down, hold your DD, subtract the you and DD number from the you only number" method?

Is your DD easy enough to lift/hold on a scale like that? It would be accurate enough...

OR, is it that you want them to see what she weighs officially, and that you already know what she weighs, but can't get them to take it seriously?

YANBU...BUT having said that...if you choose to allow the state to educate your child then you are open to all sorts of interference.

Truth is, there are plenty of loving, supportive parents who are blind to the fact that their little darling is over weight. Or even to the fact that they are overweight themselvesfor example

Its designed for those sorts, to try and get them to realise there may be a problem. Admittedly its a blunt tool, but sadly its a sign of the times to an extent ie more and more children are overweight. All very well saying a 4 year old doesnt need to be thinking about their weight, but perhaps their parents do.

"Presumably, you consented to your child being weighed and measured as a baby?
What's the difference now?"

The difference now is that I am not present, and that I already know what they weigh and measure, and therefore they dont need to. And that if my GP deems it necessary to weigh and measure them, they are more than welcome to with me present, which, if they were in a GP appointment, I would be.

When my baby was weighed and measured, I was present and it was with my consent.

I dont give my consent for anything medical to take place without me present until they are old enough to decide for themselves they want to have a medical appointment without me present.

"I don't allow scales at home."

How strange. Do you also allow no thermometers at home, or is this I'll-stick-my-head-in-the-sand approach restricted only to weight issues?

I really don't see why people make a fuss. DCs don't see standing on the scales as an issue-by making a fuss and not giving consent you are making it into an issue. I can't see that it matters.

Tatty - Why do you have to be present when your child steps on the scales? Can't she do it alone? Or do you think the nurse might abuse her?

YANBU

The more parents that stand up and say 'this is not appropriate' the better. It doesn't have to be your child that would be bullied for you to take a stand against it.

There have been a lot of threads on this over the past year. Anyone remember the little girl that was bullied because she was heavier than her class mates - so called names - she was a gymnast with muscles - not an ounce of fat on her - what about the child with problems who is fat, the skinny one who can't put on weight....

Stand up for our kids! Getting this done at school (even though it's not the school) is not appropriate.