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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at teacher for shattering an illusion

58 replies

tomhardyismydh · 30/11/2010 10:28

im just very annoyed that dds teacher would not let this go and she has pissed me off.

I tell dd 4.7 im 21 of course im not and this is obviouse. but her teacher told her I wasnt and thats something mummys say to make them feel better.

through out last week dd has made a big issue over this. untill this morning I had to confess my real age to her as she says her teacher keeps telling her im not 21.

now that has ruinned my little joke and shattered my dds illusions.

OP posts:

ConstanceFelicity · 30/11/2010 10:30

YABU. Don't you think your daughter might be a little confused when you keep having your 21st birthday?

What is it with this country and getting old?

happystory · 30/11/2010 10:32

DO 4 year olds have any ideas of age? (other than their own of course!) It's not a big deal.....

Showaddywaddy · 30/11/2010 10:32

What did the police say?

ShatnersBassoon · 30/11/2010 10:32

YABU. Why would you care that your child knows how old you are?

Chil1234 · 30/11/2010 10:32

YABU... teacher has done you a favour by shattering your delusion. :)

TheUnmentioned · 30/11/2010 10:33

Seriously? God i thought it was going to be a something serious like old saint nick or something!

ShatnersBassoon · 30/11/2010 10:34

Oh yes, and the teacher will think you're absolutely mental when your daughter goes back and tells her you're very upset that you had to confess that you aren't actually 21. It sounds like something from a dreadful comedy show.

FindingMyMojo · 30/11/2010 10:34

well I think YABU to unnecessarily lie to your DD - you might think it's an 'in' joke between you, but really you will be the only one getting it.

I thought this was going to be about Santa.

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/11/2010 10:37

You're lucky the teacher didn't tell your dd that you are a complete fruit loop, frankly.

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/11/2010 10:38

PMSL shatners.

Yes it sounds like an over laboured and arch joke in some ghastly mid 00s sitcoms starring Caroline Quentin and Shane Ritchie.

Doigthebountyeater · 30/11/2010 10:39

You are mental!

Original poster

tomhardyismydh · 30/11/2010 10:40

i think this is comparable to telling her santa isnt real

OP posts:

RealityVom · 30/11/2010 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrimmaTheNome · 30/11/2010 10:42

Perhaps the teacher is uncomfortable with the pretence that you conceived your daughter aged less than 16

Indith · 30/11/2010 10:51

I think last time I asked ds how old he thought I was he said 7 and a half. He is about to turn 4, 7 and a half is really, really old.

Not a big deal really is it but I think it a little odd that a teacher of reception age children doesn't just pull out her best "wow I'm really interested in what you are saying that is amazing" face and say "Really tomhardy's dd? you mummy is 21? Well that is lovely and when is her birthday? Oh really? Is it? Did you get her a present?" and so on and so forth. It can hardly be the only nonsensical conversation she has a day!

ShatnersBassoon · 30/11/2010 10:56

The teacher probably has conversations with OP's DD along those lines.

"So your mum's married to Tom Hardy? That's wonderful darling."

"Your mum is the secretary on The Apprentice that tells the contestants to go into the boardroom? Well lucky her."

"Your mum is not 21. She doesn't look it anyway, so you should probably ask her for the truth."

BendyBob · 30/11/2010 10:57

Blimey I also thought this was going to be about Father Christmas. Phew!!

Most children think all adults are the same age I think. Ie old.

PinkElephantsOnParade · 30/11/2010 10:58

On my 40th I went to DDs school assembly, where every week all the Dcs and any adults with brthdays are called up to sing Happy Birthday.

For all the adults the head always jokingly says their age is "21".

DD wasn't having any of this.

"You are not 21, mummy, you are 40!" she yelled.

No room for vanity in this house!

Original poster

tomhardyismydh · 30/11/2010 11:01

ha ha shatners made me laugh

OP posts:

Porcelain · 30/11/2010 11:03

My mother told me was 21 when I was little ( I would have been about 3), I truly believed her until I was with her when hiring a car, I thought she was 26, she was 43! (So yes, a child can hang onto a "little joke" for years, long after the adult has got over it, I obviously counted on with every birthday)

As a kid I never thought to consider the logic (I have a brother 8 years older than me), but I do remember being quite put out that she had lied to me, especially as she always made a big thing about me never lying to her.

It's not really a very funny joke, she won't get it, it's adult vanity and until the wrinkles start coming, you don't think about lying about your age, it makes no sense to her.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 30/11/2010 11:06

GetOrf LMFAO @ 'Fruit loop' - a fave phrase in this house! :o

Onetoomanycornettos · 30/11/2010 11:06

I think the teacher responded entirely appropriately, saying you are 21 is just a cultural joke (which you appear to have taken quite seriously) and she's letting your child know that. Thank God she is sensible, you are not.

Anniegetyourgun · 30/11/2010 11:08

YABU to lie to your child. I want mine to believe me when it really matters, so I start off by not being dishonest on the smaller things. No, I don't mean I tell them the entire gory truth about everything(!), but I don't tell them pointless untruths. I suspect lying about one's age to a child is all about one's own self-esteem, not about what is good for the child to know (and it's not a joke if only one of you is in on it).

On the other hand I don't see why on earth this teacher thinks it's her job to tell your child what your real age is. In short, it is none of his/her bloody business. Supposing a child were to confide in me that their mother, who I knew the actual age of, was telling them she was 21, and supposing I came down with a bad attack of honesty, I hope the nearest I'd get to interfering would be to imply that 21 is an age some people say when they don't want to tell you the real one. Of course you should never ask a lady her age!

Anniegetyourgun · 30/11/2010 11:14

ps PinkElephants, I would probably have corrected the head teacher myself if he/she said I was 21. I've earned every one of the years I have on the clock and I want to take full credit for them. It's my life and I won't have people knocking out odd decades.

Oh wait, maybe I am a bit peculiar...

InWithTheITCrowd · 30/11/2010 11:25

Wow - this happened to my cousin. Her ds's (aged 6) teacher told him that mummy wasn't 20 - in fact she was, as she had her first ds at 14. Teacher said "mummy's can't have babies when they're 14" - caused a great deal of upset within the family. Particularly as my cousin is one of 6 sisters, all of whom have had dc's under the age of 16!
I think as long as the teacher knew this was a joke, then teacher was nbu to tell your dd. Can't you carry on your little joke now your dd knows it's a joke? Surely that makes it funnier, as it's shared?

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