competetive mums

[loopylo]

It is that time in life when everone of our friends is having babies (7 this year). We have a 6 week old but one of the mums is really winding me up. She has read every book, has a view on everything to do with babies and is very happy to tell everyone why she wont be doing things the same way as you and why what you are doing is wrong. Her baby is now 'sleeping through the night' and she keeps banging on about it and how good their routine is. Whereas my baby, who is younger, is not. She makes me feel like a bad mother. Am I being oversensative, I would never tell people what to do or tell them they are doing something wrong - its their child and therefore up to them how they do this scary parenting thing. Rant over. I feel better already.

just take it with a pinch of salt IMO. she may think she has it easy just now, but no doubt she'll have problems at some point down the line. We all do eventually!

Spookily She was brilliant but cost me £80 for an hr and a half.

The trouble is I wish I was still BF but due to my anxiety stopping my let down reflex and thinking that others know better I listened to SIL.

Also none of my friends BF and due to what I went through said I dont know why you just dont FF.

I wish I had just trusted my instincts and carried on. I didnt know any better though. Since then DD has been not without a cold and I miss the closeness when it went right just me and her.

Sometimes "uber mums" trying to be helpful or just smug dont realise what harm they can do.

Since then I have been on anti deps.

I am thinking of training to be a BF councillor though to help others.

I had one who claimed her two year old could dress itself and also knew the entire alphabet to boot

She was turning it into a total competition and I just didn't need it. That's not what friendship is about, so I just avoided her til she went away.

YANBU - My first DD was, a perfect baby, slept through, ate well, few teething problems but nothing major, she was like a handbag, could take her anywhere with me, and have no issues,

Impressed? hmphh

Then comes DD3, what a turn around, she has been a nightmare challenge since day 1, 18months on and she is still the same, a little cracker, but hard work. She woke in the night last night, has done it last few nights, and needing some much needed sleep i put in bed with me and DH, she spent the night pulling my hair,im knackered today

Your friends time will come

I imagine referring to her child as "it" maybe have been even more effective than avoiding her in making her not want to spend time with you.

Little - sorry you had such a tough time with end of BFing :( I didn't realise until I was struggling myself how helpful it was to have grown up around bfing and to have so many people I could ask for help and support. I'm not sure I would have been able to keep going if I hadn't had that. It's a massive head start. To have managed for as long as you did is really quite an achievement.

Next time will be different - it's so much less stressful with your 2nd. My DSis really never got BFing established with her first but with DC2 (a total, total milk monster) found it so easy.

Good luck with doing BFing support :)

Loopy

I bet when you look at your baby you feel a whole lot of love that surpasses anything else. Whenever anyone makes you doubt you're doing the very best for your baby, hold onto that feeling and trust your instincts. Don't let anyone convince your that's what's right for their baby is better for yours. If you know in your heart that you want the best for your DC then just go with what feels right and don't pay attention to anyone else's parenting "by the books".

All the best to you and stay strong and keep on having the confidence to make it through the harder times.

Thanks Spookily.

That is really nice of you to say. DP doesn't want another at the mo due to what a nightmare I was.

I do feel I want a second chance one day to get it right.

I dont care whether people FF of BF but for me it is just a question of what is best for my child. I have never been so determined to do anything more in my life.

Which suprised even me.

I am very careful of what I say to people now.

I must admit I was a bit judgy of my friend who did whatever and was laid back. Sadly not me!! :)