to have walked off and left my husband and daughter in town?

[muttimalzwei]

Was very cold today and snowy, struggled into town with two kids, slipping about and moaning. Had to get some shopping and it was very difficult as son refusing to go into pushchair, husband's back is weak so couldn't lift him. Daughter whining a lot. Husband did usual of saying 'don't be long','do we have to go in there' 'I'll just wait outside' etc when I was shopping (for essentials, new gloves,snowboots etc for kids) so I was rushing and having to cope with very clingy son who only wanted me. Suggested they went for a coffee while I looked for a new hat (had vouchers to spend in just one shop) and he refused as it loooked too busy and he wouldn't be able to lift son into highchair. He also said 'you'll be ages'. I just said 'oh do what you like then', took son and went to get hat and then got bus home. Husband fuming when he got back. V unhappy with me. Does no one else ever walk off in a huff these days or am I just vvv unreasonable?

vey unreasonable and thoughtless to not at least let him know you were leaving. god knows what was going through his mind when you didn't return. next time have a mature converstaion and tell him you don't want to argue and are going home. better example to set for your dcs.

Actually I think a lot of people haven't picked up on the fact that the DH has a bad back. To the point he can't lift his pushchair aged child. That is a recipe for him being in pain and getting grumpy with a lot of standing, hanging around, carrying bags, dealing with young child etc. I suspect that's also part of the reason he didn't heave the laden pushchair on to the bus.

Maybe I've picked up on that because I have a bad back but if DH huffed off whilst shopping I'd be pretty unimpressed.

Not an adult way of handling things at all.

Oh, I've walked off in rage because after 2.5 hours IN ONE SHOP ALONE DP put all the items in her hand back, as she had decided she didn't like any of them.
It was walk off, or Breach The Peace.

Gay - bloody hell - I think I'd have gone for Breach of the Peace at that stage... 2.5 hours in one shop alone (unless it's a huge department store) it's a GBH in the waiting!!

Not a very grown up example for your children.

SlartyBartFast Sat 27-Nov-10 23:20:42

"so your dh walked home, so wasnt it him in a huff?"

nice bit of reversal there.

if your DP had left you with a bad back and a child wouldn't you be in a huff?

I agree with Reality. Pity about him that the experience was so unpleasant for him.

I know this is BU but I find I never really believe people when they say they have a bad back!! I can't help it. Unless I've actually seen them fall down a flight of stairs, if they say "oh I've got such a bad back, I can't sweep the floor, pick things up, load the dishwasher etc" it's not that I don't believe them exactly but I don't absorb the information.

battle of the sexes

I think in this instance the bad back needs to be taken into consideration.

However as a general rule I don't buy into the 'leave the poor husband at home' - how pathetic.

We've had a very nice day out shopping today. But we plan where we are going, what we need to look at and buy, what order we will attend to the various things in and always plan at least one break for either lunch or coffee or both.

Oh this reminds me of when my mum used to flounce off when I was a child. She was a tad dramatic and at slightest upset she would walk away. Even as a tiny child I was mortified/upset and angry at her. Her and dad once had an argument on holiday in Spain in a resturant and they both got up and stormed off. I was 13 and my sister was 3, we just sat there hoping one of them would come back. My dad did, to pay the bill and seemed surprised to see us both still sitting there

I think it can be a symptom of not being heard though.

The OP said further up that everything has to be done on his terms. When they are shopping, she has to somehow minimise the awfulness of that experience for him, even if she needs to get something.

I used to flounce off sometimes when I was with my x, but I had never done that with previous bfs. I realise now that I did it because I had put my 'case' forward, it was ignored.... i had 'asked' can we...?" whatever I needed...

I used to flounce off because what I wanted or needed was of no consideration whatsoever to my x. Whether or not it inconvenienced him was the consideration..

I have walked away from my dh on occasion (just him though not in front of children) because I would have lost my temper. Then after about 5 mins calming down, phoned him or he phoned me, sort of kiss and make up situation and all is well again.

When we first started going out many years ago, he said something that irritated me and it was our first ever argument, I threw a bag of croissants at him and walked off. We actually laugh about that to this day.

Well if his back is "weak", perhaps he shouldn´t be giong into town at all?

He must know his limitations and how far/long he can walk/stand.

To be fair, the only person that can shop successfully with DP without considering homocide is her sister who is exactly the same.

I'm surprised what a response I've had. ValiumSingleton has made a valid point. I do have to minimise the awfulness of things but his back is bad.Today also he has been in a mood but has apologised and explained his back is really getting him down. Suffice it to say that we didn't go shopping today!