To report the parents on the other side of the wall

[SteelMagnolia]

We share a wall with a family I haven't met. The entrance to their house enters on a gated mews, while ours opens onto the street. For at least nine months, we have heard crying babies on the other side of the wall. We have a one year old, and of course, he cries sometimes. But these babies...I think there are two...cry ALL the time. It just doesn't seem right. I'm listening to it now.

I feel like I should report this. Possibly these children are neglected, or perhaps the parents just cannot cope? Our experienced nanny also finds it odd how often, and for how long, these babies cry.

Would I be unreasonable to report this? If not, who do I call? And will they even do anything, given that I've never even laid eyes on these people?

LOL at the teeth brushing theatrics, Yank.

When DD1 was younger, our older neighbour said to me he thought I was trying to kill her she was screaming so loudly, I explained I'd been trying to do her toe nails

He got told off by his wife though and made to come round and apologise to me for how what he'd said sounded, bless him

I really wouldn't think about contacting the NSPCC yet.

Do you know the postman by any chance?- you could casually ask him if he knows their name / house number, as you've still been meaning to say hello to your 'newish' neighbours.

Back in the day, when we moved in to a new house at Uni, we heard lots of crying, bangs, and generally distressed noises coming from next door, along with some shouting from their dad. Made us feel very uneasy so we knocked-on to introduce ourselves, and it turned out to be a lovely (if somewhat stressed) single dad looking after 2 young sons with severe special needs. How would he/we have felt if the authorities had turned up at his doorstep?

i think you are making too much of too little, i know a baby, not mine thank god, that cries 24/7, desperate mother doesn't know what to try next, wonderful mother by the way, just exhausted for lack of sleep, a knock on the door from someone to inspect she is not abusing her baby would def tip her over.so just don't.
if you are really worried, go round, knock on the door and say hi, i am your neighbour, i just wanted to introduce myself and say hi, maybe we can have a cup of tea sometime.

i had weird neighbours that move out, and the new ones where a bit wary of us, i don't know what they told them, so i went round one morning and said, hi, so you are the new neighbours, ah? well, anything you need please come round and ask, i hope the baby doesn't keep you awake at night.... we've been friends since. and no need to mention why have you been so weird? what the f**ck they told you?.

If you need to talk to someone, talk to your HV.

I think everyone else's suggesitons of introducing yourself is good. There will be a way to buzz them from the gate surely.

Could you randomly lock yourself out and go to their house to borrow the phone?? Or run out of calpol or something as an excuse to speak to them?

Not sure why people are differentiating between calling social services and the NSPCC? All the NSPCC do is take down the details and pass it on to the relevant social services office.

And I agree - pop round, explain you've got a little one too and wanted to introduce yourself; do they recommend any of the local baby groups etc. You might find out some information that makes you feel less worried. Or you might be able to help.

For a moment I thought you were my neighbour. He always gives me filthy looks in the car park. I'm a lone parent with 2 toddlers and it's hard work at times.

Please try and find a buzzer or knock and say hi as many others have said.

I've climbed over walls to get to potential friends or shouted through the back door when i hear them coming or going.
No doubt they think I'm mental but I do make a good cuppa and an ear to bend when they need me.

Steelmagnolia-do you think you will get the chance to go to this house today?Let us know how you get on.

You could just say you are having some work done On the house soon which might be noisy & wanted to forewarn them?

I'll see if I can get over today. Will let you all know how it goes.

Good for you SteelMagnolia. A visit is the right thing to do imo. I had three crying babies and for years all you could hear from our house was crying or screaming. Our poor neighbours had a hell of a time, but laugh about it now. They admit they were concerned at times though! We are not bad parents - just breed very unsettled demanding babies!

Pretend a parcel hasn't arrived and you think it's been sent to the wrong house.Then ask them if they would like to come around one day.Anyway hope it all goes well OP

How high is the wall?

Can you 'accidently'chuck a ball over or something then go knock on the door to apologise, get the ball back and then strike up conversation?

No,Dont report it,go around and see for yourself first. How do you know if the babies have some problem you don't know about? Some babies cry more than others. It could be anything. My little one had terrible eczema and allergies which made her etremely uncomfortable especially at night. It was horrid to see her go through this as a mother but there wasnt much we could do apart follow the Dr's advice. As someone said above reflux,teething.....all make babies uncomfortable so I would think about it first. If you don't get any joy going around there maybe talk to your local HV and see what they say.

Good luck! Report back! :)

I think it's all very well for people to tell the OP to go round there...but let's be honest most of us don't live in friendly little villages any more!

The OP might be shy....or the neighbours might be rough...thing wrong with calling SS ...the family may be known to them already. If they are not known and there is no problems then what harm has been done? None.

what harm has been done? are you for real?

Shanahan, I think calling SS can cause HUGE probs. Say it is a mum struggling and tired with babies that dont sleep - that would tip her totally over the edge. AWFUL idea.

Let us know how you get on with the meet today op. FWIW I have a very cry'y baby, my first was an utter breeze but after a year of no sleep with my second I am a lot more understanding about this issue. My first has quite severe adhd and honest to god if social services turned up now and it was one of my neighbours, without even bothering to talk to me I would have an utter breakdown.

If you have a shared wall that you could hear crying babies through surely you could go round and warn them that you're about to have some building work done that might be a bit noisy so you realise that they have children and you just wanted to apologise in advance etc...

If you happen to see them again later just say builders let you down and now it's all up in the air.

Job done.

Bugger decorhate got in there first

I would go and check in on them. Failing that if you feel something is wrong as a gut feeling contact hv. Just to make sure the children are ok which is the bottom line.

Hi op was just wondering if you spoke to your neighbours?Also since you wrote this post has the babies still been crying this weekend?Sorry if I sound nosey-just wanted to know the outcome

*have the babies