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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have just hit the roof and screamed at DH?

60 replies

seeminglyso · 26/11/2010 23:38

I am 40 weeks pregnant and this evening DH went for a drink after work. He said he would only have one drink but came home quite tipsy. I feel very disappointed as if I had gone into labour this evening he would be too drunk to drive me to the hospital and would be embarrassing at the hospital. I appreciate he just won a big contract for his company and wanted to celebrate but I specifically asked him not to drink. I hit the roof ..but AIBU?

OP posts:
maighdlin · 26/11/2010 23:39

at 40 weeks YA Soo NBU

classydiva · 26/11/2010 23:42

I think considering you could drop at any time he was thoughtless and should have had one, and gone on the softies.

ChippingIn · 26/11/2010 23:45

He came home quite tipsy - not paraletic!!

Taxi/Ambulance....

Not saying anymore as it WBU of me to tell a woman 40 weeks gone that she is BU Grin

ChippingIn · 26/11/2010 23:46

Oh and having his wife in labour sobers a man up pretty bloody quickly Grin

Original poster
seeminglyso · 26/11/2010 23:54

just to add he thought on coming home he could drink wine in the house! It was at this point I freaked as he was already annoyingly drunk and wanted to drink more! He is not a drinker and so alcohol really hits him and makes him annoying to be around..NOT suitable birth partner material! Its our first baby too.

OP posts:
AllOverIt · 26/11/2010 23:56

YANBU... my sister's DP was pissed as a fart through her labour and was no help at all.

SparklyJules · 26/11/2010 23:58

It's late, you should be in bed not having a hormonal hissy fit at your drunk husband. Unless you are in labour right now, in which case go ahead.

DeathandTaxes · 26/11/2010 23:59

"YANBU... my sister's DP was pissed as a fart through her labour and was no help at all."

Are men any help in labour anyway??

catsinthebelfry · 27/11/2010 00:03

He's probably wound up/worried sick/really excited all at the same time about the impending event and was probably wound up a bit by his mates he's been drinking with. You haven't gone into labour so all is ok, really. I expect you just want to get on with things - that's quite understandable

ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers · 27/11/2010 00:08

Depends on the man I would suppose.

If I was 40 weeks pregnant and my DP/H was pissed when I went into labour he wouldn't be coming in with me. OP maybe you should point out to him, tomorrow when he's sober, that by getting drunk he isn't going to be much use to you when you're depending on him to support you if he's drunk when you go into labour.

I don't get why the op should be in bed though just because it's late Confused

Original poster
seeminglyso · 27/11/2010 00:23

Oh he is fast asleep now...but I will be speaking to him about this tomorrow. I feel very let down by him this evening as I really expected better when I am so reliant on him. If he was drunk he would not be coming in with me there is no way. So potentially he would ruin what is supposed to be one of the happiest if not the happiest moment of our lives.

I dont know why I need to be in bed either? Hmm

OP posts:
AllOverIt · 27/11/2010 08:50

'Are men any help in labour anyway??'

Er, yes my DH was! He drove me to hospital, sorted checking me in, got me drinks and snacks, got the midwife in when the pain got too much, demanded an epidural when they told me no, helped me to the loo, went and sat with DS while they worked on him outside Sad. What a strange thing to ask!

Just being there and holding my hand was enough. Not too pissed to drive her there and then asleep comatose in a chair like my sister's DP...... Hmm

Niceguy2 · 27/11/2010 09:02

YABU

He was out celebrating, he wasn't blind drunk. There are taxis & ambulances.

You screaming at him suggests you did not ask him not to get drunk but in fact, it was an order.

So did you order him or did you ask? The latter implies choice.

FanjoForTheMincePies · 27/11/2010 09:04

I was pleased the other day when my DH went out with his brothers, whom he hardly sees, and came back only tipsy, as DD was ill, to me that was admirable restraint. YABU a little.

overmydeadbody · 27/11/2010 09:06

Oh for Goodness sake OP, YABU. Very Very very unreasonable.

He is a grown up, you are not in charge of him. Even if you went into labour it's not the end of the world that he has had a few drinks.

Labour goes on and on and on. And if you tihnk giving birth is the happiest moment in your life, well, you've got another tihng coming.

BootifulBernie · 27/11/2010 09:07

YANBtotallyU. I would be feeling a bit pissed off, too. The screaming probably wasn't your finest moment, though, but you are heavily pregnant, so hormones can be blamed for that episode Grin

Keep it in perspective. He didn't get blind drunk and lose his phone. He came in tipsy.
And he now knows how you feel about that, so hopefully won't do it again before the baby is born.

FanjoForTheMincePies · 27/11/2010 09:08

omdb - you just made me wee a little with fear there.

overmydeadbody · 27/11/2010 09:08

The thing is, you've already screamed at him (which is really not a good way to treat someone you love) so you shouldn't bring it up again tomorrow like he is some naughty school boy. You didn't go into labour, so don't harp on about how terrible he is for having a few drinks.

saffy85 · 27/11/2010 09:15

YANBU in asking him not to drink too much as you are 40 weeks pregnant, but you were a leeetle bit when you screamed at him. You are however heavily pregnant so that's totally understandable.

In answer to the question "are any men any help in labour anyway?" My DP was. Held my hand, got me drinks, gave me encouragement, held me up under my arms when I changed postion to give birth in... Oh, and held a sopping wet (with clean water!) maternity pad to my forehead. Was closest thing MW could find to a cold compress Grin

catinthehat2 · 27/11/2010 09:21

to DEath&taxes "Are men any help in labour anyway??
"

yes absobloominlutely they are, vital IMO

fel1x · 27/11/2010 09:28

Of course you are not being unreasonable!!
You've restrained yourself from getting drunk for 9 months. The least dh can manage is a couple of weeks!
Yes he and you are lucky that you didn't go into labour overnight, but he caused you worry and stress about wondering if you would!
Ambulance is fine in an emergency but needing one because your partner couldn't help but get drunk at exactly the tine his baby is due is not an emergency, it's totally irresponsible and a waste of the service!!!
I'd be fuming with him

FrostyBaubles · 27/11/2010 09:44

It wouldnt bother me if my dh came home tipsy whilst i was 40wks,labour can go on & on for hrs & hrs,you could have rung a taxi if need be.

Saying that you never went into labour last night so i dont see why you need to have a go at him again today.

Oh & my dh was brilliant during my labour,if it wasnt for him i would not have coped at all,he was bloody brilliant.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 27/11/2010 09:50

I seriously hope you would not call an ambulance - ambulances should be used just because your husband is to drunk too drive you to the hospital.

Your DH should have exercised a bit more common sense, seeminlgyso - YANBU.

SparklyJules - when I was 39/40 weeks I was often up late because I couldn't sleep!!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 27/11/2010 09:51

Argghh - I meant shouldn't be used!!!!

LeQueen · 27/11/2010 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.