To have just hit the roof and screamed at DH?

[seeminglyso]

I am 40 weeks pregnant and this evening DH went for a drink after work. He said he would only have one drink but came home quite tipsy. I feel very disappointed as if I had gone into labour this evening he would be too drunk to drive me to the hospital and would be embarrassing at the hospital. I appreciate he just won a big contract for his company and wanted to celebrate but I specifically asked him not to drink. I hit the roof ..but AIBU?

She screamed at him when he started trying to drink more after he got home. Irritation + worry + hormones would make me lose control at this point too! Coming back a bit tipsy = no problem, as it's far better to get a taxi to hospital anyway rather than faff with parking etc, and a bit tipsy will turn sober very quickly. I'm not surprised she was pissed off when she realised he intended to get himself properly pissed, and didn't have the common sense to realise that a bit tipsy was tipsy enough.

People don't have common sense when tipsy though.

if he is generally a great guy I would let it go, as this is a time for being close and pulling together..and your last days babyfree!

What OMDB said!

And unless you can see the heoad, calling an ambulance would be shockingly inappropriate.

see the head, obviously.

The op didn't suggest calling an ambulance, it was another poster. and i think she is not BU. the woman is 40 weeks pg with presumably her first child, it's a massive deal and she is probably tired and anxious, so no wonder she flipped at her dh who is clearly carrying on as if nothing was going on. i'd be furious if dh was drunk when i went into labour. he has responsibilities.

I do think he was a bit inconsiderate coming home tipsy, but YABU to have screamed at him. I think while being 40 weeks pregnant does make you lose a little bit of perspective on things, it shouldn't be used as an excuse to verbally abuse a partner. Don't have another go at him today, apologise for losing your cool, but explain to him why you did it. He was partially in the wrong, but he's an adult and it's not as if he actually did anything unforgivable.

I realise that Bumperlicious - was making a general comment, rather than implying the OP would do so. Sorry - should have phrased it better.

YANBU. He shouldn't have done it. BUT he did get a big contract, he only came home tipsy, he shouldn't have poured another glass but on the other hand presumably you weren't saying that you had started conractions or that your waters had broken. I know they might have, but in reality it would probably have taken several hours for things to get going.

Good luck - make up and have a nice afternoon together.

YANBU - I did the same when my DH came home roaring drunk, 4 hours later than he had said he would, when I was 39w pg. His reasoning - his uncle could have driven me to the hospital if anything had kicked off - he hadn't thought about the labour part of it at all until I said "and I suppose your uncle would have stayed with me through the birth as well, would he??" THe look on his face at that point was priceless - and he didn't drink again until I had had DS, at 40+16 and needing induced.

anyway, I wonder where the op is?

I bet she's gone into labour and is having the baby as we type!!

TBH at any other time yelling because your DH had come home tipsy would BU.

However I hvae just posed the question to my DH who agrees that at 40 weeks there's not much that is unreasonable.

So no YANBU.

YANBU
You need to feel you can rely on him not to add stress to proceedings. He should be able to make you number one on this occasion. He will get plenty opportunity I am sure once the baby has arrived to wet the baby's head. It really is not a lot to ask for him to stay sober for a couple of weeks, especially if he is not in the habit of drinking normally either.

"Are men any help in labour anyway??"

I wouldn't know. DH passed out during my labour and had 3 midwives fussing over him while I was left to get on with it

YANBU to be annoyed, YABU to hit the roof.

Being slightly tipsy at the onset of labour wouldn't have been a disaster, basically.

"I think the bottom line here is that to men, this really isn't the absolute be-all and end-all of their life so far (as it often feels for a woman)."

Are you serious LeQ?

If the impending birth of your first child isn't the be-all and end-all of your life so far ( as a father ) then you are no kind of man at all.
It was the most important and significant event of my DH's life ( as it was mine).

Who are these idiot men you speak of?
You must know some thouroughly unpleasant and dysfunctional men to come out with that statement.

For a father to be in no condition to drive to the hospital / support his wife through labour, is disgusting

Erm, AMBULANCES because the father of the child has got himself too pissed to drive?

That's what ambulances are for, is it? Irresponsible twat rescuing?

YANBU, my friend went into labour at 39 weeks, her DH was pissed down the pub. She had to drive herself to the hospital, pulling over every 5 min during contractions. He was utterly useless during her labour.

I banned DH from drinking from 37 weeks. Small part to play for him I felt considering what women go through!

YANBU. He should make sure that he's in a position to support you quickly and effectively if you go into labour. (Obviously people can have situations when that may not be possible, but wanting a few drinks with friends isn't a good enough excuse.)

First labours do tend to last a while, but can still be painful from the start or things may not go quite to plan. (In my case, first sign of labour was a show of meconium and I had to go to hospital immediately. Everything turned out ok, but I was glad to have dh's reassurance at an anxious time, and to have him drive me to hospital. I would have been very cross if he had been effectively unavailable due to drinking.

I hope that you've been able to sort things out with DH now. Good luck with the birth.

I just wanted to come back to this thread because I did actually go into labour that night at five am. My waters broke and there was a lot of blood so I was in a state there was also merconium in the waters and so I had t get to the hospital quick. When I opened the door it was also snowing and had stuck and so the roads were really dangerous! I am sure that this whole incident with him being drunk is what caused the baby to come that night and the reason that the baby passed poo inside me! This lead to a really bad birth on a drip and not the water birth I had planned. It also meant they wanted him out quickly and I had an episotomy and he was ventouse. I am still in a bad way due to a botched job sewing me up.

So interestingly although he had sobered up and was able to drive to the hospital the whole incident was not conducive to calm happy birthing.

But I just had to post back here because my little guy came in on his due date..27th Nov.

You were not being unreasonable in the first place.

oh no! I remember this thread when it first appeared. Does he feel bad about it now?

Was he sorry and does he realise how massively he fucked up?

I hope things are better with you now.