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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU in thinking this was uncalled for?

116 replies

armani · 26/11/2010 13:13

ok so yesterday i had the most embarassing day of my life ever. Rushing through primark to get to boots to get some nappies for dd.dd and ds in the double buggy.

i get half way through the doors out of primark and am aproached by a security guard. to my embarassment ds, age 2,had grabbed a pair of mens boxers and i hadnt realised.

i explained to the security man that i had no idea he had them and offered to pay for any damages caused. he then went on to say he would have to call the police as shoplifting is an offence .

i still cant quite beleive it. i was arrested for shop lifting :(

AIBU in thinking this is over the top? if they had had checked the cctv they would have seen that i had no idea ds had the pants!

OP posts:

Bloodymary · 26/11/2010 14:42

One of the reasons I tend to avoid Primark.
Their security guards stand around trying to look important, 'I AM NOT A SHOPLIFTER, GEDDIT'!
Also, as Ryoko says, your always in danger of dragging stuff out with your wheels.

Summerbird73 · 26/11/2010 14:45

i wouldnt have left the shop until i had seen the CCTV footage.

most police officers wouldnt want their time wasted on cases like this and so would have wanted to see it too.

does sound like both Primark and your local bobbies have been a tad OTT

squeaver · 26/11/2010 14:47

So you were kept at Primark until your dh came and picked up the kids, then the police took you to the police station and arrested you? Then presumably gave you police bail?

Is that what happened?

Have you spoken to a solicitor?

wineonafridaynight · 26/11/2010 14:56

So sorry this has happened. They were totally unreasonable!

Would love to know what happened next?

PinkElephantsOnParade · 26/11/2010 15:17

If the CCTV has been wiped then there would be no case as there would be no evidence against you.

The goods were being held by your 2YO , not you.

I would complain to your MP. You should never have been arrested. The police should have checked the CCTV there and then and they would have seen that you did not pick up the goods. There was NO justification for arresting you.

Really, don't let this go. Even if no charges are brought against you (as they won't because there is no evidence) the arrest record will stop you using the visa waiver scheme to go to USA, and can coma up on an enhanced CRB.

There are strict guidelines the police are supposed to abide by to justify an arrest. They have not complied with them.

Make an appointment to see your MP and bring a complaint against the police.

disappearhere · 26/11/2010 15:45

Armani, I'm so sorry for you. I felt shaky just reading.

Good god, get the CCTV promptly.

I understand their point of view, I've worked with young children who were sadly used as 'decoys' for shoplifting parents (including at ages younger than your child). But that is certainly not what happened in your case. They might query how your DS was able to remove a tag, although I totally believe you, they might see it as implausible. Stay strong, get the CCTV. I don't want this to hang over you.

While Primark staff were working according to policy, the police officers really did not need to follow this up.

Pink Elephant's points above are spot-on.

Take care Armani x

harassedinherTINSELpants · 26/11/2010 16:10

That is absolutely ridiculous! I am for you.

As pp's have said, do not accept a caution as it is an admission of guilt, get a solicitor and get the cctv footage.

Must have been a quiet day for the security guard and police.

Quenelle · 26/11/2010 16:17

Isn't the onus on the shop to produce CCTV proving you picked up the goods, not the other way round?

Did your DS definitely remove the tag, or was it already missing?

Sorry this has happened to you. Hope it gets sorted out.

tallwivglasses · 26/11/2010 16:26

Intrigued to hear the answers to Squeaver's questions...

sethstarkaddersmum · 26/11/2010 16:29

tags are often missing in Primark. The few times I've been there I've had to hunt for ages trying to find something the right colour and size that actually has a tag. They are just generally chaotic IME.

NiceShoes · 26/11/2010 16:34

Once got home from shopping to find a carton juice in footmuff,that DD had taken.I swear I did not see it going in.I took back and apologised profusely,they were really nice to us.

PinkElephantsOnParade · 26/11/2010 16:35

armani, did you have access to a free solicitor at the police station?

You should have been offered this and definitely should not have been interviewed without one.

JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube · 26/11/2010 16:37

I was with a friend who sauntered casually out of Boots with 4 tins of Slimfast in the bottom of her ds's pushchair.

We nipped back and paid for them. There were no repercussions at all.

Limez · 26/11/2010 16:39

NiceShoes · 26/11/2010 16:41

Later in evening do bump again for any solicitors to help out. What a horrible thing to happen.

penguin73 · 26/11/2010 16:41

Sadly the use of young children in shoplifting is prolific and everyone caught uses that excuse....an unpleasant experience but at the end of the job he is doing his job - who is to know the difference between an accident and a deliberate act unless the child is seen at the time picking up the item?

PinkElephantsOnParade · 26/11/2010 16:43

There is no doubt that Primark and the police acted entirely inappropriately here, armani, and there is no way charges will ever be brought.

However, you still have an arrest record to deal with. Do not let this drop, this will be held on your record forever if you don't take steps to get the arrest ruled unlawful.

Go to see your MP without delay and start a complaint of wrongful arrest against the police.

Some police officers have a very cavalier attitude towards arrest and they need to be made accountable.

ThwopGoesTheMooncup · 26/11/2010 16:44

I'm a criminal defence solicitor. Would need the answers to Squeaver's questions to know what to suggest next though. Hopefully OP got the duty solicitor at the police station and got sensible advice, or the police saw sense before it went further.

Watching with interest...

ragged · 26/11/2010 16:47

Sadly I think what Penguin said is true. It's not OP's fault, it's the fault of a few too many tossers that Primark now has such a rigorously enforced policy.

Primark, of all places to use the 5 fingered discount,.. it's not like stuff in there is over-priced and beyond most people's budgets, is it?

PinkElephantsOnParade · 26/11/2010 16:48

penguin - if the security guard and the police had simply looked at the CCTV footage in the shop this could all have been cleared up on the spot.

Placing someone under arrest is a serious matter, something that is held on someone's record forever. It should never be done without good reason.

Just because SOME people use children for shoplifting does not mean that every adult with a curious child is guilty of a crime.

Yes, the security guard may have been justified in stopping the OP and questioning her, but there were no good grounds for arrest.

CCTV footage was available. It should have been used straight away.

PinkElephantsOnParade · 26/11/2010 16:55

Thwop - you are right, we need OP to give us more details.

But if she was arrested, as she says, won't she have had to be processed at the police station so will have an arrest record?

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 26/11/2010 16:55

Blimey!

This reminds me of when DS2 was still little, about 1yr old and in the pushchair. It was around EAster time, I went to the local corner shop, bought some bits and then walked on to pick DS1 up from nursery.

When I went to get DS2 out of the pushchair I found DS2 stuffing his face with a half unrwrapped Cadbury Cream Egg. I realised he must have took it when i was in the shop.

I was mortified and didn't dare go back in for over a week. When I did eventually pluck up the courage I told them what had happened and offered to pay - but they told me not to worry.

scurryfunge · 26/11/2010 16:56

OP, are you able to tell what happened?

ThwopGoesTheMooncup · 26/11/2010 17:11

PinkElephants- yes she will. And I agree that placing someone under arrest should not be done lightly, but IME unnecessary arrests happen all the time, usually to people that nobody gives a toss about. And it is nigh on impossible to get funding to bring an action for unlawful arrest, never mind win one.

In this case I doubt the arrest was unlawful. The police would have their grounds based on info from the security guard.

libelulle · 26/11/2010 17:25

This happened to my dad, about 20 years ago in a very well-known record store. In his case he is Mr absent-minded-professor-type and managed to walk out with a CD by mistake (cost about 4 quid!). One look at him and it's abundantly clear that he's the kind of man who'd do this by accident (you just have to trust me on that!) but the power-hungry security guards'd have none of it and he was arrested.

I hate to say this but in his case it did go all the way to a full jury trial. It was a complete farce. The security guards blatantly contradicted each other under oath and the judge threw the case out with some strong words for record stores that wasted public money in hounding clearly innocent customers. But it was a hugely stressful time for all of us, as a guilty verdict might well have cost him his job - all for a 4 quid CD!

So no advice, except to not underestimate the vindictive stupidity of corporations! I hope in your case someone sees sense before it gets that far.

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