To not really want to buy my nephews christmas presents now they are older?

[Wottknott]

2 nephews have left home and are no longer "children" as such, ages 17 (student) and 21 (unemployed). Sis has sent me an email with what they would like for Xmas. Eldest is living with his GF who is a student (met her once), and my sis suggest sending them a voucher and a shirt abroad for the 17 year old (so costs a bit to send too). Neither nephew have ever bothered to send me thank you;s B'day cards or Xmas cards. She said she send my two dd's a presents (her nieces), they are still at secondary school.

Go on, give it to me. A) or B) or other...
A) I'm being mean, daft, hormonal.
B) Christmas is just about sending gifts. Nephews don't need to keep in touch, or send thanks or call me once in a while, Keep sending gifts until I die. Don't expect anything back.

If you get no joy from giving then it is time to stop. Presents shouldn't be conditional.

Personally, I would just send them cards.

In our family, once we turned 18 we were adults and therefore had to exchange gifts rather than just receive them. It is not on for the 'children' to keep getting gifts until they are in their 30s and not buy any in return. Buy this year, if no thank you or even a Christmas card from them, stop presents.

My rule with presents for children is to do it until they are 18. I think after that, unless they are particularly close to you, they are too busy with their own lives. I wouldn't expect friends/relatives to buy for my ds after he is 18.

Stopped with dh's n&n once they got to 18 with no compunction since we rarely got a thank you. In my famuly on their 21st they got £21 and then gift giving stopped. Maybe time you emailed sister and make 18 the last year (if she's already bought presents).

I would send them cards and if it meant maintaining happy relations with your sister, a book token.

18 cut off here. Send an e-voucher to the 17 year old and a card to the 21 year old.

I would send small value itunes vouchers this year as a way of phasing it out. Your SIL will always think of them as children so go gently with her.

My uncle stopped sending gifts after the third year he didnt get a thank you - three strikes and your out!

Doh - just worked it out, the 17 year old turned 18 in September. Sent him presents. So I will send her an email. Thanks for replies.

Started to read your post, expecting to tell you to not think that just because they are teenagers doesn't mean they don't appreciate presents. Changed my mind however when I read how old they are.

Seeing as you've given to the older one till now, I think you decide now that 21 is cut off point. And keep giving to younger one till then. Otherwise it goes on forever and you start to feel silly giving to grown men who may have more money than you by then.