to feel let down by Medical Profession.

[namechanger18]

So far this year I have lost a close family member to undiagnosed cancer.

Now DM has been told that she is now to weak to have a heart op. Bit of backgroud she has been having falls for at least 5 years and only in the last 18 months or so they have realised that it is due to an underlying heart condition. The whole process of tests, consultants appointments has been so slow. I can't help feeling that the outcome could have been so different. Even one of the GP's at her practice has adsmitted she was neglected.

DH is also under hospital at mo and again it feels like he is being passed from pillar to post. GP can only do so much and hospital has been rubbish. At least once he has been referred back to GP for something which is clearly relating to his condition that he is under hospital for.

Rant over. Sorry.

I am sorry that you are having such a tough time. With regard to your DH perhaps it would be worth contacting a patient liason service. They normally have these in the acute hospitals to help patients get some answers or review the way they are being treated. They are there to help so it may be worth phoning for a chat.

YANBU. I suffered for 8 years before I was given medication for a heart conditon, and even then they were quite blase about it. 'Well, there are tablets we could try or you could just live with it.' Hello, Ive been telling you for 8 years that my heart palpitations are getting longer, stronger and more freqeunt (by the time I got the tablets practically every waking moment), I'm constantly tired, yet can't sleep because of the thudding palpitations I am having. If there is medication I want it because no, I can't just 'live with it' any more! Plus that was after I'd been left off waiting lists, my notes had gone missing, the results of tests I'd had done hadn't been passed to the consultant, etc. I'm still not convinced that they haven't missed a more serious condition, and my husband has instructions to sue them if I suddenly drop dead from heart failure!! I'm currently waiting to hear about an appontment I was told I would have 4 months after my last one. It's coming up to about that date now, and fully expect to have to ring up and hear that there's no record of me being due an appointment!

Sorry about your relatives' problems. It is horrible to learn that they might have been better off if things had been dealt with more efficiently. Where are you out of interest? I wonder if it's the same, shall we say, below adequate, hospital?

YANBU. I have had 2 x C-sections, one after a totally mismanaged labour where the consultant didn't give a sh*t, the second which I demanded due to lack of faith in their competence (way back when). This was followed by 6 months of being fobbed off by GP when I knew that my 3-year old DS was seriously ill - he had aplastic anaemia which has a worse outlook than leukaemia - and was gravely ill by the time he was finally diagnosed. He was treated appallingly at 'wonderful' GOSH by a variety of uncaring doctors and nurses, with a few exceptions. One night when he was going through his post-chemo bone marrow transplant I was summoned with the words: 'Your child needs you' and ran along the corridor thinking it was the end ... only to find two nurses on the children's oncology ward watching a war film which had woken him up at 3am so he was crying for me. He would have died in that hospital through a mixture of total incompetence, disorganisation, filthy environment, total lack of care and lack of communication had I not developed a backbone of steel and argued every single point. A mother whose son died (her only DC) at the age of 10 said to me: 'I will never forgive myself that I didn't argue like you' , which I will never forget. The result was that he was succesfully treated, I got him out of there as soon as humanly possible to the clean safety of home. I then demanded that his case was transferred to Addenbrookes which is near our home, what a difference - the total opposite of the up-itself establishment that is GOSH. They are confidence-inspiring and professional, but I still use a GP in France (we have a second home there, where we go every six weeks), and would have any necessary treatment here. DH and I will retire out there within the next ten years tops, DH has had atrial fibrillation and is on 4 drugs twice a day. His treatment and consultant at our local hospital has been excellent, so I am grateful for that. However, if he had to have any further intervention I needed anything we'd be on the first plane to France - no way would I go into hospital in this country, even Addenbrookes, the treatment in all respects is completely different and superior in France. You only have one body, one chance. The lottery that is this system is totally unacceptable and unsustainable. It's bad enough when it's your own health, but when DC's lives are on the line it is despicable that we lag so far behind European counterparts in every measure regarding health, longevity, survival post-cancer etc. The rot is so far set in with arrogant doctors and unclean, uncaring nurses combined with the relentless 'You're not dying so get lost' attitude from GPs (if you can get an appointment to see them), I can't see it improving for the forseeable future. I've told DDs that I will pay for them to have C-sections as I pity anyone attempting to rely on medical services in the UK. Hope you get the treatment you deserve :)

YANBU as your experiences will leave you feel let down. I also feel there are huge variations in experiences with the medical profession in this country.

However I just want to say that when the NHS works and mobilises efficiently, it is incredible. This year my DH was diagnosed with cancer - he had his diagnosis on the Tuesday, further scans on the Wednesday and Thursday and his life-saving surgery on the Friday. His follow-up care continues to be excellent. I've been in absolute awe.

I'm a member of forums where people with the same cancer in the US have to wait weeks upon weeks to get word from whether their insurance will cover it, while all the time the disease is progressing. Many of them take out loans for tens of thousands of dollars, never to be reimbursed by the insurance.

I agree with Fancyalittle NHS can be really good and move at speed if you have a good hospital and doctors most gripes are with gps not picking up signs of serious illness and relying on the old chestnut of it's a virus,maybe gps should have to go on courses to update their skills

YANBU but you need to tell someone at the hospital or they wont know. I went thru similar a few years ago but thankfully it wasn't over something life threatening. Appointment after appointment and the hospital never wrote to me or my GP. I called them up, they said they'd do something and they never did. So I contacted PALS who were brilliant. They got in contact with the organ grinder rather than the monkey and the dept agreed that no one had really bothered with it or consolidated anything.

You really do need to contact PALS they are there to help.