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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why playpens seem so unpopular

276 replies

Housewife2010 · 22/11/2010 14:38

Why do playpens seem so unfashionable? We have one & I wouldn't be without it. I have somewhere completely safe in which to put my 18 month old while I answer the door or do a few jobs. He's never left in there for long. I seem to be in a minority though as so few of the other parents I know use them. How do you manage without one?

OP posts:
Mrsmackie · 22/11/2010 17:06

Normality/Nigglewiggle - maybe you need to consider things from another's perspective instead of being so judgemental. If you were a mum of 11 month old twins - so too big for bouncy chairs and not quite walking and you needed to answer the front door (say, to collect a parcel) or you simply wanted to go to the toilet. What would you do - carry both the little ones with you? I can't see anything easier or safer than using a playpen in these situations. These things don't have iron bars - most of them are soft and spongy and if they are filled with toys then most babies are happy to sit and play in them.

piprabbit · 22/11/2010 17:10

I loved the playpen I got for my DCs.
Neither used it when they were tiny, but it was a great place to keep the toys, and has been used exhaustively as a den by both DD and DS.

I am very sad to see it go - it's currently on ebay Sad.

APixieInMyTea · 22/11/2010 17:14

Scotsmum

Sorry, wasn't criticising anyone elses decision. To me and probably my toddler that space is too small but for other people it's more than likely ok.

Apart from kitchen and bathroom my toddler has the run of the flat so wouldn't be happy in a playpen anyway.

nigglewiggle · 22/11/2010 17:22

I didn't think I was being judgemental. I was simply offering alternatives. It's not for me and I can highlight the reasons why without necessarily standing in judgement.

scaredoflove · 22/11/2010 17:25

I never took mine into the loo once mobile - didn't like them climbing up my legs or licking the outside of the toilet bowl or sticking hands in loo in the split second it took to pull up trousers etc

Much better to be in cot if upstairs or playpen when downstairs

Mishy1234 · 22/11/2010 17:35

I've never used one as I don't have the space, but I can see why they would be very useful. There are times when I would definitely use one (going to the toilet, answering the door etc).

Think it's the same as the current attitude to reins. If you use a playpen responsibly and for short periods, then I think they are very useful.

Mrsmackie · 22/11/2010 17:37

Hmm niggle - think you were being a little judgemental likening it to putting your child in a cage (quite offensive imo) And you didn't actually answer my question as to how you would manage 11 month old twins!

scotsgirl23 · 22/11/2010 17:48

I'm sorry but I think that calling it a cage is judgemental and a little offensive - fair enough if using one isn't for you (general you, not you specifically niggle) but for some people they are a necessity

Vallhala · 22/11/2010 18:01

Mine was invaluable and prevented my 19 month old from drawing in yellow crayon on the head of my newborn when I went to the loo.

Normality, some of us don't/didn't want to carry a child with us everywhere and some of us did or do want to go for a pee in peace!

I find it odd that, despite you not having a moment apart from your child/ren, which if it makes you happy is fine by me, you don't understand that others might want to carry out certain tasks, be that washing the floor or weeing, without a child in tow.

NormalityBites · 22/11/2010 18:19

Oh I happily leave my child doing whatever she wants and did this when she was a baby also. I wouldn't drag her with me if she didn't want to come and was happily playing. But posters kept asking what do you do when you can't leave them, so I said, well why not take them with you?

My child probably spends more time by herself than most, she quite likes it. I'm not suggesting dragging them about with you unwillingly. Just that whenever I was doing something, the babies would be doing it with me - happily, of their own choice. It is still the way now. If I am doing housework, or cooking, so is DD (I don't look after the other kids anymore)

And EmJxxx, no I can honestly say I've never been in Mothercare, Mamas and Papas, John Lewis baby section etc etc etc. Am I missing something tremendous? Grin I don't shop for baby gear, I'v never found babies to need anything specific.

APixieInMyTea · 22/11/2010 18:20

sorry my post was to scotsgirl

Must learn to double check names. Blush

nigglewiggle · 22/11/2010 18:26

Perhaps "cage" is an emotive word to use. I don't think that their use is born out cruelty, but rather an exaggerated perception of risk.

MrsMackie - apologies - I would deal with them in much the same way as I dealt with an 11 month old and a toddler. If I needed to leave the room briefly, I would do so (knowing that obvious hazards had been made safe). If I needed to do jobs I would either leave them to play, if I was in the next room and able to hear, and check on, them. Or I would take one or both of them with me to another part the house if necessary.

MrsNonSmoker · 22/11/2010 18:33

I'm with you. For a certain time in your DC's life you will need to answer the door without DC killing itself on the stairs/eating electrical cables/strangling the dog etc. We had one with a tent over it, DD loved it. I think they can seem expensive, but I just sold mine on.

Pixel · 22/11/2010 18:33

When dcs were small we had a flat where we had to go down three flights of stairs to get to the washing machine. I had enough trouble getting the laundry basket down the steep cellar steps without breaking my neck, it would have been impossible with a baby/toddler. I wouldn't have got a thing done without the playpen. Besides, they were both quite happy in there with their toys so there was no problem.

I've always thought of playpens as more of a safety device than a 'cage' because of what happened to my sister when she was a baby. My mum was in the kitchen making a meal and sis was in the playpen in the next room (kitchen was very narrow so no room there)so mum thought she was quite safe. Unfortunately a judgy dogooder visitor who 'felt sorry for her' lifted her out and she got in the kitchen and reached up and tipped boiling gravy all over herself. At the hospital they took off her cardigan and all the skin on her arm came with it. She still has the scars.

mummyosaurus · 22/11/2010 18:52

I have reins for my two 3 year old boys. Now I am trying to reduce using the double buggy they hold onto each others reins - playing puppy walking, which at least keeps them close together and therefore easier to grab.

mummyosaurus · 22/11/2010 18:53

I have reins for my two 3 year old boys. Now I am trying to reduce using the double buggy they hold onto each others reins - playing puppy walking, which at least keeps them close together and therefore easier to grab.

SylvanianFamily · 22/11/2010 18:53

I had one.... It became an oversized toy storage basket. My Dd absolutely hated it. It was as though if she was clipped in her high chair or buggy then she understood that she was immobile; otherwise she expected to be free. She took the playpen as mocking her!

Dolittlest · 22/11/2010 18:55

Loved the playpen with DS. He was an early crawler and walker and extremely demanding, and it was great to know I could leave him safely for a minute or two now and then.

Didn't use it at all with DD. She was a late walker and quite a docile baby, and just didn't really need to 'contain' her in that way.

They are great things in certain circumstances, though!

bruffin · 22/11/2010 18:56

I have a small living room, but had a graco playpen/travel cot, brilliant for storing toys and keeping two little ones apart. My DCs were the type that were into everything. DS was pulling boxes around behind him before he was one years old to reach work surfaces.
Both of them are teens now and neither even remember the play pen let alone feeling "caged"

5DollarShake · 22/11/2010 19:43

We haven't needed one, but can easily see why some people do need them, and would never think badly of people for wanting to keep their children safe! Confused

pommedeterre · 22/11/2010 20:15

DD is a very early crawler and by the pulling up and attempting to cruise motions now going on is likely to be an early walker. I don't yet feel the need to have a playpen and can't imagine that I will do.
I can definitely imagine using reins when walking along roads though.
I know my mother didn't use a playpen. She reckons the initial decision not to may have been money related but said she never felt the need and neither did her best friend.
MIL on the other hand... She laughed at me when I said I didn't want to get one and said I should just wait until she's mobile and then I'd change my tune. This has now become a very big reason not to get a playpen in my mind.

darleneconnor · 22/11/2010 21:23

I think, as Pixel's case demonstrates that they give people a false sense of security. Unless they are in it 24/7 then the rest of the house will have to be baby proofed anyway, so then why would it be needed?

They aren't 100% safe, I'm sure I remember a case where a child died of strangulation whilst in one. Personally I'd rather take my DCs to the toilet with me.

scotsgirl23 · 22/11/2010 21:38

bangshead

and if the rest of the house can't be babyproofed??

Sometimes you just have to make them as safe as you can, and for some people, that means a playpen.

pigletmania · 22/11/2010 21:42

Love the playpen, what a lifesaver, allowed my dd when she was little to be safe whilst i did some jobs, cooking etc.

SalFresco · 22/11/2010 21:50

Both DS's loathed being in them; grandparents had a travel cot / playpen, but they have both only ever slept in it - never been happy to sit and play.

We have a very small flat; maybe if I lived somewhere bigger I'd see the point of them.

I always think of them as something everyone had in the 80's - when I was young, anyone who had a baby seemed to have a playpen. Now, I honestly don't know anyone who has - I'm really surprised how many people on this thread do!