...to believe that presents my dd asks Santa for, should appear 'from Santa' in the morning, and not as presents from family members

[gladis]

Obviously with some exceptions, but in general, I try to make sure that the 4 or 5 things that the dc ask Santa for, come in the stocking from Santa. These are sitting by the fire in and around the stocking first thing in the morning. Then later in the day we all open presents from under the tree from family members.

However, my dp feels 'extremely strongly' that it is completely irrelevant who gives them the presents that they ask Santa for.

As I come from a different country (however a very British colony I should add) he simply says that 'this is how it happened in my house and in Britain. In my culture, you simply ask Santa for presents in the letter but on Christmas Day it doesn't matter who they come from 'aunt, cousin, mum or dad etc'.

Children have good memories and every night they think about what they asked Santa for and whether Santa will give them those presents, so it strikes me as odd that they would then get it from someone else. At the very least it must help to keep the myth of Santa alive for a bit longer because there is some consistency.

I just find this 'odd'. Is this the British way? Am I being unreasonable?

No it is not the British way, your dp is being an awkward misery guts

I agree with you.

We put the presents we are giving to people under the tree as soon as the tree goes up. The DCs help to wrap them so they know they are going!

On Christmas Eve, once they are in bed, I put the presents for them from us under the tree. This is only to stop them opening them or the endless questions of "what is it?" "What do you think it is mumma?" etc.

Presents from GP's come to our house on Christmas Day but that is only because I do a massive breakfast for everyone and they like to see the DCs open them.

Presents from FC go in a large bag in the middle of the floor, in front of the tree in the middle of the night when DH and I know the DCs are well asleep.

I think taking your DP's POV kind of ruins the magic of Christmas for DCs.

in my house, santa brings the main present and we get eveything else

This will be a big thread, I predict, with everyone insisting that their way is the right way and all other ways are wrong.

IMO...

If something comes from an auntie or a friend it should be known to come from them so that your DC can say thank you.

If you feel strongly that certain items must come from Santa, then you are responsible for buying them and wrapping them and presenting them as 'from Santa'.

I think it's better to have a stocking from Santa and other presents from family/friends etc. "Santa knew that Auntie Mabel had alrady got you that toy and he didnt want you to have two things the same so he got you this toy instead" (because Santa is psychic and knows everything there is to know about presents).

What do you intend to do if your DCs ask Santa for something you can't afford or can't get hold of?

We've argued this a few times in the Christmas topic and I am always baffled at people who insist that the parcel of socks labelled "from Aunt Helen" came from Santa. Father Christmas can bring a stocking-full or a big present, depending on your tradition. But pretending that everything comes from him is confusing for the children, particularly when you then insist on thank-you letters .

You are seriously concerned about the logic around the Santa myth? That really isn't what will keep it "alive".

I was brought up in Britain and I wasn't encouraged to write a letter to Santa at all. We made up a wish list but it was never suggested it was just for Santa. Regardless, I think your DP's insistence (if he is insisting) that you do things his way because it's British is a bit off. You should meld your traditions to create something for your family.

So I think you are both BU .

We do the total opposite - we (and friends and rellies) buy the main gifts - Father Christmas (Santa? YABU simply for calling him Santa!!) brings the stocking. That's how it goes from being empty at the end of the bed to being full overnight. Magic. She loves this.

The main presents we work bloody hard to earn the money to buy and we feel that DD should appreciate this rather than make a long list of unrealistic stuff 'santa' (bleuch) will bring her.

We tell her that Father Christmas keeps her letter and when Nanas/Grandads/Aunties/Uncles need to know what to get her for Christmas, they ask him and he tells them.

Why TF should that Coca-cola-themed old git get all the credit?

Santa only brings stockings in this house, we do this because the nursery/school dd went to was in a rather deprived and I didn't want my dd/ the other children thinking they were bad because they didn't have much

T'is the best way tbh, how else do you explain one child getting £500 worth of presents and another child only £10 ? That and I feel it's important for children to understand things cost money and to give thanks for them

We go to my parents for christmas lunch where DD will open presents from the family. On christmas morning she will have her stocking at the end of her bed and everything else she has asked Santa for will be wrapped up downstairs. Yes, we've paid for it, but I don't begrudge Santa the credit. I think Gladis this is pretty much what you do.

We have 'presents from people' under the tree and 'a stocking from Santa' small surprise stuff. Even when the children in the family start to suspect Santa is a bit of a myth, they still love getting their stocking so they tend to keep quiet! :)

Agree with trillian. there is no "right" way of doing it, each family has their own traditions. What you need to do, is between you, decide what the tradition is to be in your family, you both need to compromise to agree. In the end it doesn't really matter, the chidren will think it's magical if they get one present from father cristmas or 10.

FWIW though and IMO presents that are not from parents should be from the people they're from so that DC can say thank you. Also if the people are coming for xmas it's nice for them to see the DC open the presents. Presnets from father christmas in our house are ones that DH and I buy, I would never dream of asking mum mum for eg to forgo the pleasure of seeing a DC open a present from her, knowing it's from her, and for my mum to see the smile and get a thank you IYSWIM.

Like lovecat we do a stocking and one "big" present that appears in the bedroom from father christmas, other presents under the tree from us, presents at my parents house under the tree are from who they're from etc etc

"Why TF should that Coca-cola-themed old git get all the credit? "

Hear Hear Lovecat

When I was little, all presents came from family members/friends, but were delivered by santa. I never questioned it and it didn't spoil anything for me.

I'm with Lovecat. if I take trouble to find and buy perfect gift for DC then I want the credit :)

Anyway I thought everyone knew that parents bought the big gifts and sends them off to Father Christmas to be delivered along with the stocking gifts from FC...

Fantasy lasts until DCs are big enough to climb up to high cupboard gifts are hidden in...

Im with Fragola! We have the same for our children. I have just added a stocking from FC for each child.

Of course the child should know who gave them the gift. And they should say thanks.

Anyway FC brings a christmas stocking to open in the morning in bed.

Presents under the tree from us and other family members

Santas presents come in a stocking at the end of the bed.

Have always made it very clear though that santa doesn't bring big presents as he has lots and lots of children to get presents for so santa only does things like colouring books and pens and pencils and sweets etc etc.

Santa brings the stockings and the big presents come from us and the family here.That way I can limit how much she asks for as Santa would have unlimited funds obviously

Similar to Emjxxx

Santa used to bring all the stuff that mum would have had to buy anyway- like packs of knickers and socks and colouring pencils etc plus small things like sweets and keyrings.

Big presents were from mum and dad.

Always amazes me that kids dont seem to spot the inconsistencies between santa bringing them some felt tips and the kid necxt door an X-Box. Obviously Santa brainwashes them

Your DH is being unreasonable simply by virtue of the fact that he is lying about British tradition to force his way on your DD. Does it really matter? No. But he's being very odd about it.

In my family, we had a sack of presents that was from Father Christmas (vomit at the name Santa, sorry), stocking was from parents and tree presents were from family and friends.

Your DH might have done things that way in his family, but it's certainly not 'the British way'. Different families do different things, and FWIW, I think you're entirely right.

Each house has diffrent ideas of what santa brings
Ours was Santa sends mum and dad the bill so thats why there's a limit
There would be presents under the tree from relatives
Some relatives send presents for Santa to deliver as he's coming here anyway and they're a long way away
Santa will leave some presents at Granny's
but he leaves the stockings here at home, unless we're staying at Granny's when he leaves the stockings there
How?
Santa is magic

DD writes a letter to Santa of what she wants. Santa then decides if she's been good, and then 'liaises' with Mummy & Daddy who then buy the presents that Santa can't fit down the chimney! DD has a small stocking from Santa which just has the presents that will fit in it.

I realise that this is totally flawed from a common-sense point of you. However, DH can't remember what happened when he was little, and my family never did the Santa thing, so we have ended up with a confusing situation to say the least. That said, so far DD has fallen for it!!!

he simply says that 'this is how it happened in my house and in Britain. In my culture, you simply ask Santa for presents in the letter but on Christmas Day it doesn't matter who they come from 'aunt, cousin, mum or dad etc'.

ROFL at the idea that what happened in his house when he was a child was therefore what happened in every house in Britain. I wouldn't let him away with that one.

As a child, parents and aunts/uncles bought me new clothes, Santa Claus brought me new toys.

We do it all

The elves leave a Christmas Eve Hamper on the door step with loads of goodies and activities for the day, jammies food stuff etc.
Few small presents from Father Christmas in their rooms to keep them there a bit
Stocking from Father Christmas by the fire
Big pile of presents from Father Christmas in the middle of the room!
Presents under the tree from whoever bought them, ie this is from Auntie X rather than Father Christmas
Presents from us under the tree, ie this is from Us rather than Father Christmas

We go a little mad at Christmas though