...to believe that presents my dd asks Santa for, should appear 'from Santa' in the morning, and not as presents from family members

[gladis]

Obviously with some exceptions, but in general, I try to make sure that the 4 or 5 things that the dc ask Santa for, come in the stocking from Santa. These are sitting by the fire in and around the stocking first thing in the morning. Then later in the day we all open presents from under the tree from family members.

However, my dp feels 'extremely strongly' that it is completely irrelevant who gives them the presents that they ask Santa for.

As I come from a different country (however a very British colony I should add) he simply says that 'this is how it happened in my house and in Britain. In my culture, you simply ask Santa for presents in the letter but on Christmas Day it doesn't matter who they come from 'aunt, cousin, mum or dad etc'.

Children have good memories and every night they think about what they asked Santa for and whether Santa will give them those presents, so it strikes me as odd that they would then get it from someone else. At the very least it must help to keep the myth of Santa alive for a bit longer because there is some consistency.

I just find this 'odd'. Is this the British way? Am I being unreasonable?

I always made it quite clear that, although they could ask FC for anything, he had his own ideas and he might decide on completely different things-therefore it is perfectly OK if auntie, Granny etc gives it instead.

Mumbar this is my hamper list if your intereted, DH will ring the door bell when he leaves for work and leave this on the wicker basket on the door step, me and the children will find this with a tag from a special Elf!

Christmas themed activity book, colouring etc.
Themed chocolates/popcorn, othe goodies.
Cookie mix to make for santas cookies,
Bag of reindeer food with poem attached
Santas goblet and plate,
Special bubble bath, toothbrush and paste
PJ's & Slippers for everyone (including dh who hates them)
Snowman soup mix and mugs (hot chocolate) (need to find the poem for that one)
Christmas DVD
New fleecey blankets
Christmas story book with Night before Christmas in obviously
All with an instuction letter from the elves telling them what we will be doing that day, visiting people/baking/shopping etc

Im so excited, my kids are only 2 and 3, this is totally for me

Bunbaker - you may be right and some family members think we are bonkers (none of them expect thank-you letters though and they all happily play along whilst quietly laughing to themselves about it all ) However, rather trouble later and a little more magic now methinks. DN has been given a doll for Xmas from one of her relatives, with the tags on, been told it's for Xmas and she can play with it but not remove the tags until Xmas day - surely this is madness? DN is 5.

I'd actually be really offended if I gave a child a present to have the tags removed and credit for the gift removed and given to FC to be honest.

I think I would be as well emptyshell.

If I give a present it is from me, I expect the DC to know it is from me and I expect a thank you letter-unless I am there when they open it in which case they can thank me in person. (telephone or email would do)

I really don't mind if DCs / DNs don't thank me, and DH's family is huge so lots of gifts bought by us. FC myth is just more important to me than any credit for pressies, they can say thanks when they are older and don't believe anymore. OP - just goes to show there is most definitely NOT a British way

Babydubs thankyou thats inspired. I'm already ing at the thought of spending the day watching an xmas DVD, wrapped in a blanket, cooking biscuits, chilling and then having a bath and clean pjs before bed. (DS might need a bottle of oilatum with a bow on ).

I usually spend xmas eve with my best friend and her DD's (her hubby works) so I'm going to suggest we do this together and it gets delivered when we are all at whoevers house we do it at this year.

I'm pretty sure DS (6) will love it too

I would be offended too emptyshell. I think it's really important for children to say thank you and understand that auntie whoever has chosen them a lovely gift :)

This is our first year of even mentioning FC and we've agreed that he will bring the stockings. All the other stuff is from, well, who it's from!

Fwiw I thought traditionally it was the stocking that FC did anyway, that's why it is hung on the fireplace? And you get coal in the stocking if you're naughty?

I think it depends on the family really and the age of the child. If his relations are going to be offended if your DC don't personally thank them from the presents then they can't really come from santa. Or maybe you can ask them - is it ok if this comes from santa?

I think you vcan find a compromise, eg some from santa and some from family members.

If you want a nice big pile of pressies or specific pressies from Santa, then buy them, wrap them and pile them up from Santa. I would be seriously peeved if i gave a gift to a child and their parent decided that it wasnt from me at all! IF its one that you wanted Santa to bring them put your hand in your pocket and buy it.

You're going to great lenghts to keep this going, but surely your kids are going to want to know why their friends get presents from their relations but they dont? or even other member of their extended family but not them? Its just unmanageable and bloody cheeky taking credit for other people gifts!

YANBU. In our house and actually in my whole family. Fatherr Christmas only brings stocking presents and none of these items should be more than £6 ( most of them are much cheaper than that). Out stockings are pillow casr sized bags. Everyhting else comes from us or relatives. So when the girls were little they knew if they asked for something big it would come from us.
Also stocking presents aren't put around the tree but on the ends of thier beds or outside thier rooms.

When I was a child I believed in Santa. As soon as I could read, I knew the presents were from people with names that I knew and the dream was broken. I tried for a long time to hide labels to keep up the make believe that presents were from Santa to keep the dream alive for the dc. It was my mum who got upset because she wante the dc to know she had personally bought them lovely presents (better than the other grandma . In the end we compromised and Santa started to bring the stockings that were found at the end of the bed.

Has to be tailored to what works for individual families and children.

Everyone has their own way. young children are normaly so wrapped up in the excitment to notice any inconsistencies in your planning!! When I was a child my mum told me that everybody bought presents for people and wrapped them up. the father christmas elves would come at night and collect them to them to the north pole to be delivered on christmas night.
When dh and I had the dc we do things our own way. father christmas brings them a few presents from the letter they send him. They know they will not get everything as there are millions of children in the world and not enough room in the sleigh.
Family members also get them presents which are exchanged when those family members are visiting over the christmas period i.e. not all on xmas day. If family members ask for ideas then some of the requests might be duplicated from father christmas letter but the children will be aware of that and strangely have never commented on that. We are a small close family and we tend to discuss between us what we are getting them to ensure no duplicates.
I think your dh is over thinking it.

Our house:

Smallish things, (but quite a few of them) from Father Christmas in a stocking at the end of the bed, decorated with balloon, baubles, etc.

Everything else with a tag under the tree. It's important to me that DCs recognise that presents don't just come from wishing, but that nice thoughtful people who love DCs go out and get these things (and deserve an effing thank you letter for it! ).

DCs encouraged to ask Father Christmas for whatever they want of course. Just cos they ask doesn't mean they'll get. (Another Important Lesson ).

my kids a big present from santa then lots of little things in their stocking. then later on they open other presents. i tell them that santa can't buy everything they ask for he picks out one thing. they change their mind every day up to christmas anyway!

My two are 19 and 16.
Santa brings them a stocking full of bits, and relatives buy the rest.
Which now, of course, includes them buying presents with their own money, wrapping and putting under the tree.

We bought ourselves a couple of DVDs that we couldn't really justify buying for the hell of it. So there will be 2 packages under the tree labelled To Us From Us :o

Love the idea that presents dont just arrive by wishing for them - too true :)