to think my friend isn't being a friend over this?

[Notterrysmine]

When Take That tickets went on sale, I asked lots of people if they had any spare tickets, whether I could buy two off them.

One friend bought 16 of them, and contacted me the minute she got them, to see whether I still wanted the 2 before she offered them to other people. I said yes please, and paid her for them. The tickets are standing tickets, i.e. not allocated seating.

The weekend after was my daughter's birthday and I let her know as her present she was going to see Take That.

A few days later, my friend asked who I was going with to Take That, and I said my daughter, she said 'oh' and the conversation shortly came to an end.

She then phoned me up a few days later, and said that by taking my daughter (who'll be 15 so not young child) with me it'll change the whole dynamics. And I said, no if they want to go out before or after that's absolutely fine, and my dd and I will be alright, and as I don't any of the other 13 people going, I'm happy to be part of the group or not.

Well friend ended call in a huff, and said I was ruining the day, and hasn't spoken to me since.

Have IBU?

Not in any way

Sorry, she is being silly YANBU (hit post too soon)

Sounds a bit ott.

She got another agenda?!

No. You haven't demanded that they change their plans, it's not like you're taking a six year old, and she's being very unreasonable to sell you tickets and expect to have a say in who uses one of them.

Is your friend 7 years old? How odd.

YANBU...

what does she want to do on the day?

(I have a vision in my head of a gaggle of crazy TT fans all giving you this [hmmm] face at you daring to take your daughter along)

I possibly have strange ideas about TT fans

She is BU not you. You seem very reasonable, regarding doing your own thing with DD or joining the group. Is something else going on with your friend?

damn. face, obv

Ask her why you're not allowed to take who you want with a ticket you have bought from her?
Seriously, wtf is her problem?
YADNBU.

No, YANBU at all. Dynamics of the group? How old is your friend? And more importantly - have you got the tickets in your possession? If not, get them asap before she changes her mind.

no yanbu she is!

you asked if anyone had tickets, she sold you 2.

she was being bloody ridiculous buying 16 to start with but that's another thread.

the point is, you bought the ticketsx. they are yours. you did not buy them with conditions attached, or to be part of a group.

she is seriously weird!

For God's sake. "You can't play with my pals if you take HER". YANBU

Not that I'm aware of and we have been friends for many years.

I was wondering if I was BU, by 'hiding' i wanted ticket for dd. But it really didn't come up prior, and a) she knows my dh won't go to concerts and b) she knows my dd loves tt, so don't think it would of been that hard for her to work it out beforehand if it was an issue. Literally the night before tickets went on sale, I sent out a round robin text, saying if anyone gets spare tickets, 2 for me please.

so they want to get shitfaced beforehand, dress for a night on the tiles and scream for one of TT to shag them and don't want your dd there? methinks (yes, i could be wrong but bet i'm not )

She sounds like a spoiled brat. I have a 15 year old daughter too, whom I'd love to take to see Robbie and co. I'd have no concerns about taking her with adult friends and know that she'd be mature and a pleasure to be with. It's not as if she's five!

Besides, as others have said, you paid for the ticket, you can take who you damn well please!

This is a group of mid 30s to early 40s women. i.e. Take Thatters from first time around.

Then she is old enough to know better. Tell her to grow up - but get the tickets off her first

Agree with above. UANBU. How crap of her to make you feel bad about what could be loads of fun for your dd. Don't let dd know about this weirdness. Get the tickets off her and have a great time with your girl.

YANBU, how strange your friend is being!

she arranged for a group of women to go on a retro concert - she wants to reclaim her youth from the first time round

you have changed the dynamic

you are bringing someone who reminds her that she is not 16 again (or however old she was first time round)

You are bringing a teenager who they will have to be motherly around

I think you need to split from teh group and just go you and your daughter

your friend had a different night in mind than being a mother - she wants to be a single person with no obligations to anyone

If I had a girls night out planned with my mates and someone brought their teenager I'd be fuming tbh

I am shocked that nobody else sees this on this thread

maybe nobody else has teenagers though (I do like going out with my teens - it's fun but it's different)

activate I'm sure you're right about the friend's reasons for being a bit pissed off, but really?! Would these reasons be enough to upset a long standing friend, and ruin a good night out? life's too short!

Well she was taken aback I would imagine

She has obviously been excited about it I have no idea how many nights out she gets but if she bothers to get 16 tickets to a concert for a group of has-beens then she is clearly over-excited

so yes I think the response is understandable and I think the OP needs to split from the group

If I've read the OP correctly, it's not a bunch of mates - she doesn't know the other 13 people going. Her friend bought 16 tickets and then offered them on. They are standing tickets, so it's not as if they'll all be sitting in a row together, but even if they were, what on earth is the big deal? Everyone will be there to watch the band, no-one will be able to talk to each other over the noise and as Thatll do says - life is way too short to get het up about something so trivial.

Don't get me on being stealth.

But this may have a bearing and with the BU comments this may have relevance.

She herself has no children.

One of the others going has 2 very young children.

Don't know anything about others who are going, so don't know their parental status.

I think 2 couples are going - or at least there are at least 2 men going.