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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my friend isn't being a friend over this?

54 replies

Notterrysmine · 19/11/2010 20:48

When Take That tickets went on sale, I asked lots of people if they had any spare tickets, whether I could buy two off them.

One friend bought 16 of them, and contacted me the minute she got them, to see whether I still wanted the 2 before she offered them to other people. I said yes please, and paid her for them. The tickets are standing tickets, i.e. not allocated seating.

The weekend after was my daughter's birthday and I let her know as her present she was going to see Take That.

A few days later, my friend asked who I was going with to Take That, and I said my daughter, she said 'oh' and the conversation shortly came to an end.

She then phoned me up a few days later, and said that by taking my daughter (who'll be 15 so not young child) with me it'll change the whole dynamics. And I said, no if they want to go out before or after that's absolutely fine, and my dd and I will be alright, and as I don't any of the other 13 people going, I'm happy to be part of the group or not.

Well friend ended call in a huff, and said I was ruining the day, and hasn't spoken to me since.

Have IBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Notterrysmine · 19/11/2010 21:32

Also I've never been to a concert of this size before.

But I'm imagining if there's a few hundred of you standing, it's very easy, in the swarm of things, to become separated from a group anyway, especially 16 people.

OP posts:
SalFresco · 19/11/2010 21:36

YANBU
If there were three friends in their 30's going for a meal in a restaurant then taking along a teenager would change the dynamic. This is a huge public event attended by thousands of people, going as part of a large group. Plus the OP is not insisting on being part of the group - she's happy just to be with DD.

My friend took her 9 year old DD last time Take THat toured with a group of women in their 30's, no-one thought anything of it.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 19/11/2010 21:36

Definitely easy to get separated Wink

celticlassie · 19/11/2010 21:47

I'd much rather go to Take That with teenage girls who would be up for enjoying themselves than go with a partner...

onmyfeet · 19/11/2010 21:48

YANBU, but your friend is.

Original poster
Notterrysmine · 19/11/2010 21:59

Well after watching them on CiN - I'm looking forward to the concert, with my 'mate' talking to me or not Grin

OP posts:
cumfy · 19/11/2010 22:07

YANBU.

Sounds like a case of beggars can't be choosers.

Presumably some of her friends had dropped out since the very 1st convo you had with her (before tickets arrived), otherwise you'd have been guaranteed them from the outset.

Therefore unless you had somehow misled her you are the one doing her a favour.

PandaSmells · 19/11/2010 22:11

If it's standing space, you could easily separate from them if they want to get raunchy or daft.

If anything it sounds like your DD will be far better behaved than they will be - and probably far more entertaining to be around.

YANBU - she didn't place conditions on the tickets when she sold them to you, so it's her problem not yours.

ljgibbs · 19/11/2010 23:25

Do you have the actual tickets or does your friend still have them? Only asking incase she fails to hand them over to you, if you think she might do that, then get the tickets off her asap

Original poster
Notterrysmine · 20/11/2010 13:27

The way I understand it is that she doesn't have physical tickets as yet, delivered by ticket master, but she has emailed me a copy of the receipt from ticket master.

I would hope that with the years between us, that a) by next summer she'll have snapped out of it and/or b) she won't be nasty about the tickets.

But I will harrass ask for the tickets.

OP posts:
racmac · 20/11/2010 14:26

I thought you had to be over 16 to be in standing?

DanceInTheDark · 20/11/2010 14:28

How did she get 16 tickets? I thought the limit was 6 per person? Did she just keep on going to the website?

Unrulysun · 20/11/2010 14:31

Maybe Robbie's going to be snorting coke off her arse at the after party?

stillbobbysgirl · 20/11/2010 14:38

does this woman think that there will only be the 16 of you there or something? what an idiot.

the tickets belong to you - you can bring the vicar if you want to

she can't have much to worry about

narkypuffin · 20/11/2010 14:42

I think YABU actually. You said you don't know any of the other people going but I presume she knows you all.

She bought 16 tickets- big outlay- and offered them to friends. She didn't e-bay them, she wanted to go with a big group of people she knew- Take That fans from first time around. She's gone out of her way to do that. And you have used her to get access to tickets for you and your daughter to go.

mayorquimby · 20/11/2010 14:54

I'm backing her on this one.

ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers · 20/11/2010 15:21

The op didn't use her at all. She sent a round robin email asking anyone who managed to get hold of take that tickets if they'd be willing to sell her two. She's not asking/expecting this friend, or any of the others going, to spend the time with her and her daughter. There are still enough tickets left for the friend to enjoy a night out with a group of friends.

OP YANBU

ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers · 20/11/2010 15:22

Damn, meant to say the friend didn't have to sell her any tickets. She chose to, she can't place restrictions on whom the op takes.

narkypuffin · 20/11/2010 15:45

Maybe use is harsh, but I can see why she might be upset if she sold them to a friend so she could be part of a group and then found out you wanted them for a different reason. A breakdown in communication.

Original poster
Notterrysmine · 20/11/2010 15:55

But narkypuffin from the outset I asked for 2, if she had an issue with who came she should of said from the beginning, or at least asked who I planned on going with.

I could of been giving the other one to a friend she doesn't know, my mother, my sister, my brother, my husband anyone. I am and always planned to give it to my dd.

As round robin text it was short and to the point, if it bothered her who the other person was, and she'd asked before selling me the ticket, I would of happily told her, as I did the moment she asked.

OP posts:
narkypuffin · 20/11/2010 16:01

If she doesn't have children it might not even have occured to her that you'd bring your teenager.

She sounds like she's having a strop. Maybe the other poster who suggested it's hard to recapture your youth with a real teen in tow was right. Hopefully she'll calm down.

elphabadefiesgravity · 20/11/2010 16:17

Unless she has made an official group booking or has paid for them on different cards at different addresses she may well lose the excess tickets if there was a limit.

When I worked at a box iffice that happened sometimes. They used to run a check on who had bought how many tickets.

maddy68 · 20/11/2010 17:35

TBH I wouldnt want a 15 yr old with a bunch of my 40+ friends either - I would want to have a fun night and quite frankly get wankered! The group dynamics would change with your DD there

Myleetlepony · 20/11/2010 17:47

Op didn't ask to buy tickets to join friends at the concert. She sent a text asking to buy two tickets if anyone had spares. At no time did anyone, buyer or seller, say that they wanted to be part of/would be part of a large group. So of course Op YANBU - you asked to buy two tickets, she sold you two tickets and you can do what you like with them. Your friend didn't ask you if you would like to join her and a group of friends at the concert did she? Just go independently with your daughter, you probably won't even see her little gang.

RunawayChristmasTree · 20/11/2010 18:08

Your friend is a twat

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