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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To abort my unborn baby if you tell me to?

132 replies

thereistheball · 18/11/2010 17:22

Not me! This couple. They are Pete and Alisha Arnold, and she is 17 weeks pregnant. They can't decide whether or not to keep the baby so are putting it to the vote, which closes two days before she reaches 20 weeks.

Some of the site content is down, but they appear to be genuine. I heard about this from Gawker.com Sorry if this has been done before - if so I haven't seen it and am Shock Shock Shock and Sad

OP posts:
muggglewump · 18/11/2010 22:44

Well, this doesn't sound like a great thing to do, but it is their choice, and if that's how they decide to make it, then I'd support it as I believe in a woman's right to choose, and I don't pick and choose circumstances or reasons.

ChippingIn · 18/11/2010 23:11

muggglewump? blimey - really? You think the fate of a baby should be decided by an internet vote?

Please tell me someone stole your sign-on?

chefswife · 18/11/2010 23:20

Its sounds like a PhD in Psychology or something. I've been apart of a study for new parents that started when I was 12 weeks with DD and the questions sound a lot like what is being discussed on the website, like abortion and ideology/public opinion behind it.

If not, this baby is totally screwed with parents like that.

muggglewump · 18/11/2010 23:56

No, it's me.
I didn't say I'd do it myself, or I agree with what they are doing, but I accept it as I accept any reason for a woman to choose.

I agree with choice, and that doesn't make exceptions.

Valpollicella · 19/11/2010 00:01

Muggle, surely there's agreeing with choice, and the choice of someone choosing to do so. But this is quite a sick way of going about it.

Sick stunt which I think is very counter productive to the people who have terminations for whatever reason. It completely disregards the reasons that anyone else has a termination.

muggglewump · 19/11/2010 00:07

I still agree with choice, whether I agree or not with the way they are going about it.

And yes, I think it's a stunt, and a sick one at that, and I'm almost expecting a pro life thing to emerge from it.

But if it is real, I accept it as choice.

chefswife · 19/11/2010 02:15

The choice is in whether or not to abort the child. The way they are going to make the 'choice' is vulgar act of attention seeking in that they can't make up their pitiful minds and have put it to a vote for the public to sway their decision. What if their decision is swayed perhaps a way they really weren't interested in, you can't go back on this. What about the safety of themselves if they do decide to abort the baby? People will lash out at them. This is the most asinine stunt ever pulled for "15 minutes of fame".

JimmyChooChoo · 19/11/2010 08:32

Mugglewump-You said it's a sick stunt.
You also said you wouldn't do it yourself.

Surely then you think it's WRONG.
So why go on to say that you accept their choice?

I think murder is sick.
I would never murder anyone.
But I would never say 'Well he murdered so and so,I wouldn't do it.But hey it's their choice'.

I know that's a dramatic comparison but where do you draw the line in what choices are right and what are wrong????

ChippingIn · 19/11/2010 10:55

Muggglewump - actually I can see where you are coming from. If you agree that it is 100% a womans choice - you can't really criticise what she bases that choice on - or demand she has 'a good reason'.

I am 'sort of' pro-choice. I am but strongly object to women using it as a (repeated) form of birth control or women who want a summer baby not a winter baby or think they'll be ready a year from now but are a bit busy just now... but I am all for the choice so that women who have been raped or really, really aren't in a position to bring up a baby have the choice. Also, because it is our body, we shouldn't be made to carry a baby we don't want to.... it's complicated when you don't see it in black & white.

lucky1979 · 19/11/2010 11:35

Is the whole thing not just a 4chan stunt?

Kaloki · 19/11/2010 12:35

lucky Don't think so. It's not their style.

muggglewump · 19/11/2010 13:03

It doesn't matter if I think it's wrong or not, it's not me, what I don't think is wrong is a woman's right to choose for any reason.

BarbieLovesKen · 19/11/2010 13:11

Utter bastards.

Diziet · 19/11/2010 14:02

Sorry to hear your news, Broodymama.
What must this couple have been thinking ?
It's just mind-boggling, the things some people will do! Angry

JimmyChooChoo · 19/11/2010 14:17

What about that poor babys rights mugglewump?

muggglewump · 19/11/2010 15:03

I don't believe unborn babies have any.

CheerfulYank · 19/11/2010 17:45

Not any, mugglewump? To what point? Birth? 24 weeks? 30? I'm genuinely curious, please don't think I'm trying to be antagonistic.

muggglewump · 19/11/2010 18:02

Birth, and no, none.

AnnOnimous · 19/11/2010 18:08

Horrible idea, how anyone can think a public vote on a baby's life is a fair thing must be mad.

While one can argue that people have the right to choose, what right do they have to make it a public 'game'.

Yuk.

muggglewump · 19/11/2010 18:14

Can I add a close friend of mine got pregnant a few years ago. She was in no position to have another child. I didn't think she should keep the baby, but I never told her that, and four years on still haven't and wouldn't.
I supported her choice.

I think people often confuse pro-choice with pro-abortion and they are not the same thing.

I believe a woman has the right to choose any of the three options she has when she is pregnant, and I'd support any of them for any reason.

My opinion is not relevant to them because it's not my choice to make.

HalfTermHero · 19/11/2010 18:20

Muggle, you can be staunchly pro choice and still acknowledge the theory of competing rights (i.e. a balancing exercise between the rights or 'needs' of a woman and those of the unborn child). That is why the law is as currently stands. Towards the early part of pregnancy the woman's rights prevail and towards the later part the unborn's rights are protected (in so far as it would be humane to the mother and child for this to be the case). To me the 'abortion debate' is less black or white and more shades of grey, iyswim. HTH Smile

muggglewump · 19/11/2010 18:22

Just because it's the law doesn't mean I have to agree with it.

HalfTermHero · 19/11/2010 18:24

Fair enough, I just wanted to make the point that you can be pro choice yet acknowledge 'competing rights'.

CheerfulYank · 19/11/2010 18:36

Hmmm. Well. Interesting...

I certainly understand where you're coming from, but it's hard for me because I have seen babies who've been born at 22 weeks, and you can't, you know, legally smother them or something. But you could have legally aborted them for a few more weeks, at least here. It's tough for me to wrap my head around that.

But I also have a hard time wrapping my head around staunch pro-lifers who would force women to have children and then pass laws that make it very, very difficult to care for them. So there you are.

BonniePrinceBilly · 19/11/2010 18:39

I agree with muggle. It may sicken me, it may not be something I could ever do, but I am fully pro-choice, without restrictions of any kind. I believe that the most important and fundamental right a woman (or indeed a man) has is to bodily integrity, and that means always full choice.

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