"You may now kiss the bride"

[LornMowa]

All this talk of weddings has reminded my of my own. At the practice I specifically asked the priest not to say "YMNKTB". Firstly because I think snogging in church is tacky and secondly because I think it is up to me and my husband whether (and when) we kiss.

He still said it though - I just gave hubby a kiss on the cheek.

Was I unreasonable?

i would not have noticed the difference in the sentences ISNT if you had not brought it to my attention..wow,i do get it now.

I find the whole wedding service incredibly tacky and for that reason nobody attended our ceremony

What really really winds me up about the 'If you don't kiss passionately at altar, you don't love each other school of thought' is that the people who say this are of the type who have lived together and had sex numerous types before marriage (even had children beforehand).
If marriage is so blooming well important and such a big deal, surely you do NOT do these things before it?
It's amazing how many women turn into bridezillas, because of their 'big day'. Makes me sick.

DISCLAIMER: I have zero objection to anyone doing any of the above before marriage on a personal level and as I see marriage as fundamentally a legal transaction I don't care if people DO cohabit and have children before getting wed.

If you're going to be all traditional and view things such as kissing the bride as being significant, then I really do think you have really pay attention to what it means- i.e. the beginning of a new sexual relationship.
So doesn't the fact that a person has had sex with their groom/bride beforehand turn this into a farce?
If you're reasonably sane about it all, you should take the view that it is a meaningless tradition which means nothing at all. And that nothing can be 'read' into the way a couple kiss.

Ours wouldn't say it for reasons already mentioned,so yanbu to being a bit annoyed I guess as it isn't really part of the service.

As you did marry in a church, is it traditional to say 'You may kiss the bride'? If it is, then perhaps you are being unreasonable.
No offence, but if this was objectionable to you -why not marry in a register office or have a non-religious service?
If it is NOT traditional, you are not being unreasonable.

You are NOT being unreasonable to kiss in the way you wanted to, though-of that I am certain- and it is nonsense for anyone to suggest that a non-passionate kiss has any reflection on your level of desire or devotion to your spouse.
Usually my views are in the minority here but, for once, people seem to agree.

A fruitcake mum I once knew actually told her children that kissing was dirty and unnatural and only bad people kissed eachother (she was clearly trying to save them from the sexual deviancies of childhood) - so those poor little buggers are going to be completely freaked out on their wedding days. Let's hope that this horrible ritual is outlawed by then - for the sake of the children!

Kerry: "i would also think that they didn't like each other very much"

PMSL I love you. You are hilarious. Never change.

I don't like it much either, partly because it is a bit sexist, partly because I'm not one for public shows of affection (would have eloped, had a smallish wedding to keep family happy).

Our priest said to DH, casually, in a low voice 'oh - you can kiss her now if you like'.

Then we had a movie star style closed mouth kiss, 'twas lovely.

So, pray tell, what does that say about our sex life given the theory on this tread? :o

oh, and he said it with a twinkle. Our priest rocks, Fact.

However YANBU. Your wedding day, do what you like.

At my registry office do, the registrar said 'you may now kiss the groom' and I grabbed him to general applause. Twas one of the best bits of the day.

KerryMumbles It is perhaps normal for most couples to want to have sex upon marriage, however, we're talking about kissing in public here and not sex- a lot of people do not want to do this.

But having said that, I do know of a lot of couples who do not have sex (or they say they haven't, anyway. I'm not actually in the room with them!) on their wedding night-owing to excess alcohol usually.

And, to be frank, while I have absolutely NOTHING against cohabitation/sex before marriage, I do not see that it is a matter of urgency/novelty to have sex if you've had sex a million times before with that person.

You know it is a bit farcical sometimes all the nod-nod-wink-wink you see at a lot of weddings. We've all got to pretend somehow that this is a 'big night' for the couple. Sorry, but it is not.

Kerry I will kiss my DH when I choose to kiss my DH. I will not kiss him just because someone decided it should be part of the weeding ceremony to fit in with their idea of what is romantic. (BTW he does not go short of 'kisses' even 20 years on).

It is NOT a traditional part of the wedding ceremony and even if it was didn't promise to obey, my father ddn't give me away and I gave the wedding speech.

You are comfortable with PDAs. Fine, it would suit your wedding. I am not, my wedding, my business, back off and stop making judgements about people's relationships based on one stage managed kiss.

Wedding not weeding

YANBU - have you seen the David Gest/ Lisa Minelli wedding kiss? I wouldn't risk that!

I would rather have no kiss than a peck on the cheek from my beloved. I agree that it doesn't need to be in the wedding service at all if the couple don't want it, but if it is, I would be quite suprised at a peck on the cheek really, but then I never peck my husband on the cheek, that's my 'relative and good friends' kiss.

I thought this was going to be another feminist thread; 'WHY does he give DH permission to kiss me, why is the WOMAN not told she can kiss the MAN??? Sexist BIGOTS!'. However as it is not, I don't care either way about the kissing thing.

My DH got a smack on the wrist from the registrar. We were only halfway through the ceremony and he kissed me as he couldn't resist :o

Ha. I'm the opposite of the OP - I specifically asked our vicar to include this line - he thought it was a bit tacky so wasn't going to but I wanted to be sure we got to kiss!

Who wouldn't want to kiss their new husband on their wedding day? And the audience congregation always loves that bit.

Agree, minipie. I was the bride and I did want to be kissed! EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!!!MEEEEEEE!!!!

marantha - Just because someone has lived together before they married doesn't mean that the day is any less special.. and as you have had a dig at people living together and having children before marriage I conclude that infact you do frown upon it despite your protests to the contrary...

I do however feel the kiss is personal choice. My parents are a lot older and very prudish and i would be a little uncomfortable snogging infront of them, I also couldn't imagine snogging dp infront of great grandma... however I would like a lingering kiss on the lips and i have no problem with the saying ymnktb as to me it implies dp has wanted to do it for the last hour as he loves me so much rather than i am now at his demand.. iyswim..

pom bear anyone